#askyinka

[thebokinni]

Episode 3 of #AskYinka Keep sending your questions via my ASK page 💜

[thebokinni]

Episode 2 of #AskYinka is now on my YouTube channel (: Have a watch! Anddddd subscribe 💜

[thebokinni]

This is the first episode of my new online blog series Have a watch! 💜💜

[thebokinni]

Hi Yinka! What are your future aspirations?

to rule the world? haha no not really but definitely be an incredibly influential person in uk music (:

[thebokinni]

my boyfriend cheated on me and now i dont know what to do, he says he is sorry but its not the first time. i love him but I'm not sure if i should stay with him

The thing is; once you ‘take’ someone back after they have done a thing like cheat on you it can (and in your case it has) open a door to that becoming a trend or a recurring behaviour. In all honesty if he keeps cheating on you and you keep essentially allowing it to happen you’re not respecting yourself, you know you deserve better or you wouldn’t have written to me. And if you’re not respecting yourself how on earth can you expect him to have respect? You’re fast becoming a door mat and you need to get out of there before you start to believe that you’re worth as little as he is treating you!Good luck!

[thebokinni]

hi yinka, i definitely need some help.. my boyfriend was sent to prison and he is going to be there for at least three years, the thing is he is asking me to wait for him and i just dont know if i have it in me. All of my friends have stopped talking to me because of his criminality and now I have to make the decision as to whether to ride' or not. What do I do?

The fact that your friends have stopped talking to you must be really tough and I am sorry for that ): I dont think that you shouldn’t ‘wait’ for him just to get your friends back because they’re not really your friends. Friendship is being there for each other and supporting each other, what they have done to you is the complete opposite.

Your boyfriend being in prison means that you have to decide (quite quickly) whether or not you can do the long-distance thing, because thats what it is. My advice to you is to not promise your boyfriend anything, it is easy to say whatever he wants to pacify him but maybe become friends, at least until you decide what you want. That way there is less pressure on you to behave like his doting girlfriend

Now this is not me telling you to behave 100% single but for you to be able to sit back and take some time deciding what you want to do whilst still being honest with him.

[thebokinni]

in my teens i was a bit reckless and i slept with quite a lot of guys. Loads really, and now I have met someone amazing and he really likes me nut he doesn't know about my less than holy past. Do i tell him and risk him going off me? part of me thinks i should keep it to myself. Help Yinka!!!

I am a firm believer in honesty. If you start a relationship dishonestly how do you expect it to last? There are a lot of people who regret things that they have done in the past but that isn’t an excuse to lie about it. If you like this guy as much as you say you do then he deserves the truth and you should go into this relationship on a clean slate.

A lot of the time we can psych ourselves out and blow things out of proportion, everything seems bigger when it’s inside our minds. You need to be with someone who will accept you for who you are, and the things you did before you met them won’t matter to this person.

Yes you may have been adventurous in your past and I am not saying that you should wear a sign with your sexual history around your neck but I am saying that you should start this relationship as you mean to go on; Honestly.

[thebokinni]

I'm 19 and i have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years, he is lovely most of the time but sometimes he gets angry and looses it and hurts me, i love him but this haas been going on for half of our relationship and he keeps telling me he will stop but he hasn't, help!?

What do you mean by hurt? No and I repeat NO human being has the right to hurt you, whether physically or emotionally.

You don’t believe him when he says he will stop and you’re right not to because I don’t think he will either, and I know it is easy for me to say but you need to get out of there. I am not belittling your relationship but you need to know whats good for you and what isn’t and being in an abusive relationship definitely isn’t.

I am not saying that he doesn’t love you, because despite the way he treats you he may just but his love isn’t good enough for you, he says that he is trying his best; his best isn’t good enough for you.

You have to look after yourself and the first step toward that is knowing this this relationship will end badly, you can only minimise the damage by deciding you’ve had enough.

Please look after yourself xxx