#asprirations

[kiwieuropasblog]

not the naked eye

Every time I want to deal with what I already have, 

It seems as though , I'm positioned in a different space. 

Being called dumb blatantly, was a test grab. 

Like honestly, it wasn't the time or place. 

It's alright and all, what would Jesus do? 

He certainly wouldn't react impulsively , 

So I will be graceful still, peace in mood; 

The test is how you'll handle what you subdue. 

Being called out my name is fine;  

My creator made me strong, and mighty. 

With a heart, soul, and spirit divine. 

 Using a simple life example of how people really are; 

They'll laugh in your face, because they're' the ones scarred. 

I'm ok with it even so , there' consequences are not mine. 

The reaped seeds sowed, was they're decision  

[rossjernigan]

PART FOUR // on aspirations

granted, when you look at the struggles and adversities people face, they usually come out stronger than when they started. and that's what i look forward to. i need you readers to know that i'm okay. i don't like who i am, or the decisions i've been making. i don't like how far from my faith i feel or the way my bible has dust on it. i don't like the way people put others on a pedestal and overlook others. i don't like the i've been treated or when people cut me off in traffic. i don't like a lot of things.

but i'm not going to be the guy who sits idly by and does nothing about the problems that are pulling him down, tearing him apart and forcing him to give in. i have the love of the Lord, and if that's all that i have after the end of this confession, that's enough. if all of my friends leave me and the world caves in and all i have is the Lord's light, i have enough.

and i needed to get to that point. i guess i needed to break. i needed the straw that breaks the spiritual camel's back. looking forward, i have no idea what my spiritual future looks like. if i get baptized again? if i basically start over? i don't know where to go from here, but i look forward to learning. i'm moving into an apartment with 3 really great guys this fall, and i know they are gonna help me, and pour into me, and hold me accountable, and i need that. i need that fire again. i need that passion, and i can't wait to feel it.

so this is me. telling you that i'm not perfect. this is me telling you that i'm working on myself and that i need you to love me regardless of where i've been, who i've let ruin me, and how i've destroyed myself. this is me asking for your forgiveness and hoping you'll help me grow to be the person i know that i can, should, and will be. and this is me telling you that i'm done hiding and this is me telling you that i'm ready for a fresh start. for those of you who read all four parts, thanks for listening. i hope that you feel like you know me a little better. but like i said: this is me. take it or leave it.