Oh don't grow up. You were so happy. You were so dedicated, driven, brave and strong. If you saw what you are now, you'd cry yourself to sleep. I wish somewhere along the lines we did something different, but we didn't. And now I'm stuck with the aftermath, an emotional, lazy, worthless shell of a being. Please stay motivated and strong, you're going to lose a lot of people you love, including the grandmother you would go out with every weekend and meant the world to you. It will destroy you. You'll cry yourself to sleep all the time and wonder what we all could have done to prevent it. You'll get her car. Now when you get in the same car you sit there for a minute before even turning it on and absorb the scent and moment, that is the last living piece of her you have. To make matters worse, your favorite grandfather will pass on a short period of time later, the one who called you curly top, carved you disney characters, played games with, loved you with all his heart. This becomes harder to handle, you start to detriment yourself and lose sleep and lack of energy, you become depressed and find less pleasure in what you once loved with all your heart. Your brother will go away to college and you will feel alone. You know you have to push on, as hard as it is. And now that I've warned you, maybe the road will be less gravelly and windy, and you can trudge through the mud a little quicker and pull yourself together. Please.