#autistic ramble

[awfullygerakobittsu]

Sweet Dreams? (Aster Game Over Proposition)

I've thought of this for a very long time, ever since Aster's cursed form had a battle sprite and gimmick reveal. He easily took the spot as my favorite as soon as I realized he looked like a baku, and I'm glad I predicted he had a dream-related attack before I knew that it was planned!

So I watched the streams and was excited seeing @frankiesmileshow working on the astronomers again :) So excited, in fact, that I have a little surprise! I tried to keep it in the style of the actual game overs/endings, and I had fun writing this while working on Chapter 2 of Pure Imagination! Click "Read More" to see what I made, but beware of HEAVY 2.0 spoilers! Happy reading, Chapter 2 is almost ready to publish! :D

Proposed names I have for this are "Pink Elephant", "Eternal Rest", "Sapphire Nightmare", "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These)", and "Pink Asteroyd". For both variants of this ending, Sam has to be eaten by Aster's "Dream Eater" attack! I imagine the text for that goes a little like this:

You'd see this at the end of the fight, win or lose. After this, there's two possible endings! One is a more "proper" game over for when the rest of your team wins, and the other is more of an ending. (After all, you lost, so no second chances!) If your team won, you'd see this:

If you lost, I imagine you'd get this, and it would present similarly to the Failed Ritual ending where you only get sound effects and not much in the way of visuals:

I imagine there's other scenarios like this for the other astronomers, too! I'd love to see other interpretations for what happens if, say, the party all loses to Jasper or Aurelius. Definitely lots of room to have fun here! Here's to adding even more fun ways to die/be transformed/etc. in this game! :)

[totally-correct-genshin]

Found families in this game makes me crazy and the knights are a big found family.

Ill mainly talk about Jean, Kaeya, Lisa, Klee and Amber here because I didnt play enough to find Mika yet (but im reading his lines, hes just baby sibling) bc i got bored and my computer can't take it anymore and Eula and Albedo are more like an awkward cousin.

(i will talk less of Klee bc just- everyone knows how she is :sob:)

Im going to show a few lines i want to talk about then go crazy about it.

Ok so. Starting with Jean.

Lisa:

Kaeya:

Amber: (+ "Amber shut up abt Jean" bonus round)

Klee has way too many mentions of everyone sigh.

Anyways. THE RELATIONSHIPS.

You can see how everyone cares about Jean, everyone says she should rest and try to help her in the way they can.

For Kaeya, it's usually by helping her get shit together.

For Lisa, it's by inviting her for time offs and tea time.

For Amber it's a mix of both.

Klee is too young to understand how overworked is Jean, but she does know Jean can be tired.

Lisa and Jean are a special case, always together, Lisa is always inviting her for stuff, Jean is the first person Lisa sees in the morning, Jean even says Lisa makes her calm, they're a very married couple, god bless.

Kaeya and her have a fun friendship, she cares and worries for him and he does the same for her, it's mentioned in his story that sometimes she doesn't understands his methods, but she still considers him a good knight and trusts him entirely, as they were childhood friends, they probably have in each other a trust even higher than the usual.

Amber thinks extremely high of Jean, I'll explain parts of that a bit later, but you can see throufh everything, how Amber is always mentioning her, as if she wants to make Jean proud (eg: "Jean will be upset if she catches us lazying around like this") and cares about her opinion a lot. In turn, Jean seems proud of Amber and where is Amber going.

Klee seems to be a bit scared of Jean, but Jean still is extremely patient with her, despite getting her grounded for valid ass reasons, Jean cares and seems worried about Klee, and trusts her enough to help her fight sometimes, which is how Klee exploded a whole mountain.

With Lisa, things are a bit different but still fun.

Of course we have Jeanlisa being jeanlisa, Lisa always praises Jean and wants to help her, in turn, Jean has full confidence in Lisa's habilities, both magic and intelectual, so much that she lets Lisa in command whenever she's out.

Lisa and Kaeya are a funny pair, it's said that Lisa makes him do some stuff that should be her job, but they do respect each other. It doesn't have that much on this pair compared to the others.

Lisa seems to be a motherly figure of some sorts to Amber, who even mentions that Lisa tells her stories, and similar to Jean, Lisa also seems proud of Amber and wants to see where Amber is going.

Lisa and Klee are another motherly pair, where Lisa helps Klee with her explosives sometimes and Klee seems fond of Lisa.

Kaeya and his relationships are always fun because Kaeya doesn't really talk a lot about his life compared to sincerely everyone else.

As we know, Jean and Kaeya have the biggest respect and trust in each other, even when they butt heads because they're both stubborn as hell, Jean seems to respect his... Dubious methods, and he respects her decisions in return. They're the duo that if they go against you, you know you fucked up.

I did say as much as i coukd about Lisa and Kaeya already since Lisa didnt have a line about him that I could find.

Kaeya and Amber are a very... Weird pair. Amber is so wary of him, justifiable after the manga, but she still seems to trust him. She picks on him and he annoys her, but they still have a mutual respect. They're pretty much just siblings annoying each other. She says he doesn't trust her and treats her like a child, but in his voiceline about her you can see he does respect her habilities

Kaeya and Klee are also very fun. Kaeya seems to help Klee evade Jean, and help her do her things, in turn, Klee is always happy to be around him.

Amber is someone so fun to see her relationships due to unresolved abandonment issues.

She holds so much respect to Jean, and thats where i wanted to explain. In her profile it kept saying about the senior knights and how they took care of her, but she just wanted to show she is capable, so she was always wanting to go for stuff alone and during a fight, their vision towards her changed, to one of proudness once she helped with a monster.

I think at least two of those senior knights, are Jean and Lisa. Both said they saw her since they were younger and are proud of her now, and even Kaeya who "still treats her like a child" is aware of her habilities.

So they probably keep an eye on her, not out of not trusting her, just because they care. She's even part of Jean's morning routine excuse me im gnna cry.

Anyways Klee seems to treat Amber an older sibling, she loves the baron bunny and thinks Amber is very fun, Amber in turn also helps her escape from the wrath of Jean

I sincerely cant write much about Klee. Girlie is an open book 😭

[rinwellisathing]

"Keep Away From Pumpkinhead unless you're tired 'a livin', his enemies are mostly dead, he's mean and unforgivin'" Just a little ramble about what went into my decisions for Sentry's slayer form design:

So to start us off, I am a horror nut. I'm not saying this with smug pride or judgment to other types of movies (it's not disdain for other genres, it's fully a consequence of how my autism works.), you would be hard pressed to get me to watch a movie I've never seen before that isn't a horror movie. I spent every year of my childhood obsessively waiting and planning for Halloween and reading occult books and ghost story anthologies I checked out from the library. My mother read Interview With A Vampire to me (leaving out certain parts) to me when I was a kid and my name was going to be Lestat if I had been born a cis male. All this to say, while I crafted or gamed growing up, I would tune into any horror movie the Sci-Fi channel was running and one October, they were showing the first Pumpkinhead movie. I adored it. The monster was cool, the witch was creepy and ominous, and the setting was fairly close to something I was relatively familiar with having been to the mountains in western PA a lot camping and visiting distant relatives. I rented the second movie and I caught the later ones when Fearnet was a thing briefly and ran them on their OnDemand service (and god fucking damn am I aging myself at this point.) And see, the thing is, I'm not gonna sit here and say they're great films, because there's a criteria I'm going by that I fully acknowledge most people just don't (It's creature effects. Pumpkinhead, Haggis, ghosts and victims...just great work all around). The scripts aren't amazing and a lot of times the acting can be very hokey (except Lance Henrikson, Admiral Hackett is really out there selling this series as Ed Harley, there are also a lot of other very enjoyable performances, but I won't pretend they're all amazing) but they're a fun watch especially if you love vengeance, folk horror, and creature features with a hint of the demonic.

So how does this relate to my Durge, his slayer form, et al? So like I said, the movies are about vengeance first and foremost. The conceit is, if someone does you wrong you can call on Pumpkinhead to get revenge. It's an unstoppable demon summoned from an unhallowed corpse (The third movie implies the corpse of the last person to summon him, but that's not really a consistent choice). The summoner sees through its eyes but doesn't really control it per se, Pumpkinhead only stops when vengeance is complete or the person who summoned it dies. As an Oath of Vengeance Paladin, this fit really well for Sentry. Throw in that Pumpkinhead already has a similar stance and shape to the basic default slayer minus the head shape and some extra limbs, and I started thinking, plotting really. So ideally, we assume The Dark Urge could use the Slayer form in the past before they were tadpoled, at least I do and I've certainly seen plenty of fanfiction and headcanons in my Durgetash groups that imply I'm not alone in that. In-game, you have to commit a massive act of terrible slaughter to gain the Slayer form, but really in the lore I've researched, being a Bhaalspawn can mean you just get it in general, it comes to you in dreams, it possesses you and takes you over. So since the game doesn't entirely adhere to that anyway, I thought what if Sentry's first foray as The Slayer was tied to vengeance?

In his backstory, he has a terrible, abusive childhood and eventually takes revenge by murdering the family he was adopted into and their fellow cultists and in my mind, this was the first time he was the slayer. With my own trauma, I love the idea as a power fantasy that a scared, badly abused twelve year old boy, still small, still weak, still being told he was a girl no matter what he said, might become something big and terrible and driven by vengeance. So throw in what BG3 and Forgotten Realms lore gives us, my love for horror, and the overarching theme of vengeance in Pumpkinhead, and this seemed like the perfect design idea for me to go with. On top of the base design, he is covered in red ropes tying the design always back to the church of Ilmater, where he was taught he could be better and that he was worthy of love and respect, and those ropes are torn and tattered on his form, like just barely hanging on, but they are there, and I think that reminds him that his quest for vengeance is all well and good, but that he does deserve more and there is more for him if he can resist. Anyway, sorry for the long autistic ramble. I just had a lot of thoughts about Sentry's slayer form today.

[seven-beetles]

Sometimes in the midst of psychologically drowning in life responsibilities, my mind suddenly wanders… and I remember… it’s autumn. The seasons are passing, spring will come again. The rain will make the creek full again and I can wear cozy hoodies and one day I’ll be able to hold my love and we can have tea together. And then? I’m still busy. Still stressed. Still drowning but. It may just be worth it to wear a cozy hoodie and have a good tea.

[darth-spectrumite-blog]

I don’t get how not directly talking about a subject, but still communicating about it is not aggressive or confrontational. Maybe it just because it automatically puts me in a vulnerable spot cause I don’t know what’s entirely going on. Anyway, today sucked, no surprise. But I got a real gift from someone, and that definitely put them in the top 10 friends in my life category. Autistic People often don’t have genuine friends. Have you seen my snap story it’s sweet and about mental illness. Today’s Autistic behavior of the day is info dump, (today’s info is my feelings but that’s neither here nor there) a behavior hat everyone probably hates you for because you go on about gender and race at parties but it’s not even conscious, it’s stream of consciousness so I can’t even reflect on what’s happening. The other day a person I was with made some comment on it me drinking a bit of beer from this pitcher'oh you like that pilsner?’ I thought, it’s fine, kind of tastes like a cheap beer, I replied “yeah I think it’s good, I think most factory beers are pilsners”. I know, like *know know* that most factory beers or pilsners. It felt funny so I said I think, I don’t know unless I ponder, even disability studies. Idk but he seemed taken aback when I made that comment. It was Pabst, long story short.

Have you been reminded how much you hate your body today? I see one of my friends posting some glittery gold eye shadow today, they be looking good, I hope they read this. I don’t want to be responsible for what people think of what’s in my pants, I hate it. But doing something about that hate makes it worse. I just want to forget and move forward but who doesn’t love reminding me what my body looks and feels like (to them). I try to avoid really looking into the mirror, my chest is out of my control, doing nothing is always my preferred option, doing something, or rather some thingsnmagnifies my disdain. Some other things magnify others’ disgust with different options. I wish my body Could fold into itself and forget. Middle of the paragraph edit: I'm also not trans for what it's worth, language outside of disabled amab ? fails to capture my feelings.* I’m not mad, when I can identify how I hurt, I rarely get mad, it’s something I can control and it scares me when I, not too often I think but idk, can’t. “I’m alone, when I’m not alooooonnnneee” -snowing. I wish I would stop dreaming. None of them leave me feeling happy lately. I’ll be okay. I got employment today! Also my friend who said he would want to hang never texted me. The archive feels good, even if it’s not something you read through, putting into public on my terms gives me control to so many things in my life that feel uncontrollable, especially my feelings. Ty for reading any if this, even if it’s just the beginning

[saltiecattoz]

i have theories about the charmin bears and the reason they own other toilet paper that isnt charmin

[theory is based off of memory im not doing any research on this]

main theory: someone is putting the non charmin toilet paper in their house.

more under cut:

theory a: its on accident. im pretty sure i saw a commercial where it implies the grandma (i think it was the blue family) is the one who brought in the “wrong” toilet paper and doesnt understand the difference in the beginning. this would suggest that the linear order of the commercials is the bears wipe their ass and notice it isn’t charmin and the one where the grandma get scolded at is last. on the contrary, this seems to happen to every charmin family (brown, red, blue) so unless this is the same family just depicted in different colors, all three of these bear families seem to have this toilet paper issue, which leads into theory b.

theory b: it’s on purpose. now while it doesnt sound feasible at first, since why would a family (let alone 3) that HATES other toilet paper buy other kinds? just to complain? that seems weird, but then it dawned on me; its not the families who are putting this toilet paper. the original commercials depict BROWN BEARS IN A FOREST using toilet paper on a makeshift log toilet, whereas the modern commercials are the red/blue bears in a HOUSE. i dont think this is some sort of natural anthropomorphism evolution, i think there are people—SCIENTISTS—BEHIND THESE BEARS OBSERVING THEIR BEHAVIORS. they’ve done some pavlovian shit to them where they respond irrationally to non-charmin paper. the implications though.. the only one that seems to leave the house is the little boy with the glasses, and he DELIBERATELY TRIES TO HIDE THE FACT THAT HE USED OTHER TOILET PAPER AND HIS MOM LITERALLY OBSESSIVELY CHECKS HIS ASS TO SEE IF THEIR’S ANY TOILET PAPER RESIDUE. IS THE SON A PART OF THIS OPERATION?? WHERE DOES HE GO WHEN HE LEAVES?? IS THE MOM ONTO HIM?? SHE ALWAYS SEEMED SUSPICIOUS TO ME AS WELL. the only character who doesnt have proof to be aware of anything going on is the dad and funnily enough: he’s the only one without a defining visual trait (mom wears a flower, grandma and kid wears glasses) he’s being experimented on and doesnt even know

[saltiecattoz]

i feel like to understand autism you first need to understand that the brain is a part of your body. your brain controls your body function, so outside factors like stress can and will affect how your body reacts to things including how the rest of your brain reacts.

while autism (a type of brain structure) is purely genetic, the way in HOW someone is in general isn’t always genetic and can be attributed to how they’re raised and other circumstances. for example, stress can cause decline in brain function and also cause physical and mental aliments, but that wont look the same in everyone, since there are other factors that can cause how your body reacts to stress.

stress is a big part of everyone’s lives, and autistic people experience a lot of it due to the fact that autistic people deal with sensory input to a much higher degree. not being able to naturally block out “unimportant” details/stimuli can result to many things; missing out on social cues, difficulty to learn ‘basic’ tasks, being unable to process anything unless theres some sort of predictability or personal interest to it, etc. no matter who you are, your experiences mold you and leave scars and affect everything about you.

oh and also autistic people who are also bad arent really like that because of autism, but rather because they weren’t taught what would be considered “obvious” social cues as a kid. this can affect an allistic person who happened to be taught that being a hurtful way is good. it’s common for autistic boys to be excused for harmful behavior but not specifically taught to regulate said harmful behavior (even though that would be very helpful) this is a result of societal ramifications rather than the kid being autistic

none of this made sense probably basically autism is just how someone’s brain operates its only a spectrum because it affects people differently and everyone’s brains are like that

[leonsdearest]

pokemon sword and shield are the greatest pokemon games (cough . or at least they are to me) . i will not elaborate ! (yes i will)

have any of you actually played it ? or are you so badly blinded by nostalgia / generation 1 that you have a bias against anything new ? because what you deem as trash and the “ worst pokemon game ” has and will always be my favourite. the graphics could use work, but it certainly could be worse ? but if you deem whether a game is good based off of some graphics then i don’t know what to say .. the whole trend of shitting on swsh because of that one tree makes me so angry ? because have you actually played it for more than 15 seconds and appreciated the music ? or the characters ? or the story ??? because i know damn well the character design isn’t what’s throwing you off. i know it isn’t the music. so what is so objectively AWFUL about this game ? (you can’t mention that fucking tree . )

turning reblogs off because this is MY autistic ramble and i will not have it be derailed