#avocado cries

[thesweetpianowritingdownmylife]

Goodbye, my lovely, patient grandma-baby. We will miss you forever.

[thesweetpianowritingdownmylife]

Trying to make myself do anything these days feels like revving a car that's stuck in the mud.

[thesweetpianowritingdownmylife]

Can you believe I ran out of Spain only to end up in a fucking PANDERETA SCHOOL

[thesweetpianowritingdownmylife]

The cat puked on the couch and I found out at 6:45am so instead of sleeping I'm cleaning sick off the couch.

[thesweetpianowritingdownmylife]

everything is so stressful

any way this ends, it will end badly

i’ve been trying to keep it on the down low that i’m living in another country bc if my government finds out they will stop supplying me with antidepressants

the social security doctor, who’s ride or die with me, has been providing them without informing that i’m working in another country

but with the things I’ll have to do now to get the european health card they’ll find out for sure and they’ll cut me off

i’ve been hoarding them a bit, as much as I could, which wasn’t a lot but again, my doctor knew what was up and gave me more than necessary every time. 

They cost 35€ a month. The dietician is 90€ a month. I wanna do a course to become a certified spanish teacher that I’ll have to pay 400€ for. 200€ in plane tickets to go home and actually do the course for over a month (when I won’t be working, meaning -280€ in my income as well). 

I wanted to go to a psychatric nurse when I’m in Tampere but unless I have coverage that can’t happen, and I can’t have any coverage unless i’m making over ~1100€ a month. My plan was to get a part time job because my mental health isn’t ok for anything else, but what part time job will pay that much? That plan is now out of the window. I don’t know if I can hold down a full-time job.

This is a nightmare. Adulthood is a nightmare. I hate everything.

[thesweetpianowritingdownmylife]

SHE’S FREE!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GODS I AM SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I met a girl a long time ago who had been manipulated by a man thirty years older than her since she was twelve, and she was dating him (when she was 21) and he had her so chained down and it was super creepy and she always reminded me of Anthy in some ways and her relationship with Akio, that’s how fucked up it was.... AND NOW SHE’S FREE, SHE ADDED ME ON FB (she had unfriended me I suspect at the creep’s request some years ago) AND SHE’S HAPPY AND FREE AND IN A NEW RELATIONSHIP AND THAT ASSHOLE IS NOWHERE TO BE SEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!

[thesweetpianowritingdownmylife]

LOOK WHAT MY FRIEND JOHANNA GOT ME TODAY

[thesweetpianowritingdownmylife]

There's gonna be the first gay wedding in my family and I can't go!!!!!!!!!!