All In Your Head
-Mairimashita! Iruma-Kun! X Reader [Gender Neutral]-
Words: 1,985
Summary: The reader is hit by a hallucination spell when fighting Netherworld beasts. When the reader's eyes land on other demons they can't help but mutter out apologies. Apologies for something that never really happened.
Quick note! This takes place when Opera and the others are attending Babyls!
Posted this on my AO3 as well!
Staring at the bodies in front of you, you couldn't move. How could you? Your breathing became irregular as you began to cry. Falling to your knees you sobbed their names out, apologizing for what you had done.
Kalego, Shichiro, and Opera. Their names left your mouth as you screamed out apology after apology. How could you!?? Your eyes stayed lingering on Opera, your heart felt like it had cracked into billions of pieces.
You didn't remember what had happened, you only really remember coming into the woods for your daily beast slaying. Did they somehow fall victim to your attacks? They had to, their bodies were all cut up in various ways. Your weapon was thrown a few feet beside you.
But why couldn't you remember? It's not like you normally blacked out. Was this maybe the beast doing? Maybe you were hit with an attack that made your memory fuzzy.
You heard a quiet chirp. Staring ahead you found that Kalego was never really Kalego. It was some type of Netherland beast. Standing up you made your way to it. It has reverted back to its original form as it cried out in misery.
Your eyes were empty and cold as you stood over it. Now that you calmed down slightly you noticed how the blood around you was not red, it was a purple-ish one. Your mind raced back to something you were learning back in Babyls.
Looking over the creature carefully you determined it was a type of bird species. While this certain species, the male birds were able to shape-shift while the female birds sprayed sometype of magic.
Rage filled you, how could you be so stupid? It was never real, you never really killed them. It was just a dumb trick, the damn bird had gotten the best of you.
Even though it was all in your head, you couldn't stop yourself from mumbling out apologies. Ghosting your foot over the bird's neck, you cried harder. Stomping your foot on it repeatedly your apologies were muffled put by the bird's own cries.
After a while it stopped but you continued, trying to get your sadness out. When you finally stopped you went to pick up your weapon. Using your bloodline magic you made it disappear into thin air. It was the weekend so the only place you had to go was home.
Your legs just started to move on their own as your blood-soaked clothes just stuck to your skin. Finally, you had made it home, it was deadly silent.
"Dad must not be home yet..." You thought as you made your way to your room. You entered your own bathroom in your room soon after. Stripping off your clothes you just threw them on the floor.
Turning on the shower you didn't even give it a moment to get warm and just got in. The flakes of blood fell off of you and fell into the drain below.
You couldn't go to school tomorrow. You just couldn't, if you were to see any of them you were sure you would just break down crying.
It was all in your head, you kept telling yourself. It wasn't real it was all just some animal's magic, it was going to be alright.
The shower water only merged with your tears, hiding them as if they weren't even there.
After showering you got out, grabbing a towel that was convincingly there. Picking up your clothes you just threw them away. Quickly brushing your teeth you then made your way to your closet where you picked out your sleeping clothes like normal. Brushed your hair like normal. Laying on your bed you realized you were crying the whole time.
Was this part of that bird's spell? The thought made you angry. You had only seen those 3 male birds, if you were really put under a spell there must have been another one of those disgusting creatures. You vowed to yourself that you would kill every last one of them.
Allowing your eyes to close you fell asleep.
....
You were currently eating breakfast as you had already woken up and gotten ready. You didn't really have the energy to do anything, you didn't even want to wake up. Your father had walked in, turning into his usual egg-like form as he began to shower you in kisses. You would normally laugh or try to push him away but today you just let it happen.
Sullivan found it strange as you hadn't muttered a single word. He called out your name a few times only to have to shake you to get your attention. He noticed how you kept your head low, staring down. Pushing back your chair to get up caused him to back up slightly.
"Y/N sweetheart? Is something the matter? why won't you talk to me!" He cried
You didn't even look at him as you grabbed your school bag and began to make your way to the door. Just about when you reached the front door he put a hand on your shoulder stopping you from moving any forward.
"Ignoring your father is no way to treat me, unacceptable!"
This whole time you had kept your head down not daring to look up at him, well that's what he was thinking. The whole incident with the stupid birds triggered something in your head. For some reason you saw your own father laying down on the floor, his eyes cold and empty as blood surrounded him. You thought you were looking at him the entire time, it was all in your head.
You shoved his hand away and made your way out of the mansion. Leaving Sullivan in shock. He knew something was wrong, were you on your evil cycle? No, you didn't normally act this way when you were. His eyes stayed on you until your figure was nowhere to be seen.
When you finally arrived at school eyes were all on you. By being the honor student it was normal to get this type of attention. Your father had practically made you into a celebrity. The girls and the boys would always whisper about how good-looking you were as you walked passed them.
Making your way to homeroom your hands began to shake slightly as you swallowed a lump in your throat. You shared homeroom with Opera. Currently, as you were walking to your class, your eyes were still glued to the ground and you wanted to cry.
Seeing all these "dead" people was unbearable. In truth, if you got close enough you heard them talking as if they were still alive. That was the only thing keeping your sanity together. You knew it was all in your head, a trick, but for some reason, you thought it was your fault.
As you opened the door to your homeroom class you quickly made your way to your seat. After a few minutes, homeroom had begun. Your teacher began to call names for attendance. Your name was called out once, then twice.
You felt a tap on your shoulder, turning your head slightly you heard the body of the girl next to you speak.
"Say...yo...her..." (Say you're here)
Your name was called out again, opening your mouth it was quickly closed as you felt a presence next to you.
"They're here."
This voice was much more recognizable than the last. Much clearer and easy to hear. You felt a finger poke your cheek. Flinching at the feeling you heard a quiet laugh. You knew it was Opera, your eyes threatened to release the tears you were holding in.
"What's up with you?" The poking action was repeated. The voice you heard was becoming less recognizable as you heard a ringing sound in your ear. "Did I do something to upse.." The voice drowned out in your ear. At some point, the poking stopped.
After a while, you saw how the bodies began to crawl towards the classroom door. Getting up you began to leave. Only for you to be slightly held down. Meeting eyes with Opera you were still looking down. Finally looking at their dead eyes you began to cry again, apology after apology you sobbed.
"Why are you crying?" They spoke in disbelief. You were always a happy person, nothing really ever got the best of you. "Why won't you talk to me? Did I say something you didn't like? I'm sorry if I did."
Hearing Opera apologize to you made you ball your fists. "No, it's my fault you shouldn't apologise." You sobbed. "Please stop looking at me like that! I already said I'm sorry!" You screamed. Your voice echoes in the empty classroom.
Opera furrowed their brows. Was their concerned gaze upsetting you? But they did notice how not once you had looked at them dead in the eyes. They were confused.
Saying one last sorry you shoved past them and made your way to the door leaving Opera speechless. As you closed the door you began to head to your first class of the day. Luckily it was not far so you would still be able to make it in time.
"Y/N!"
You recognized that voice, clear as day. "Shichiro!" You yelled out happily. He had embraced you in a tight hug. Though when you saw him, his eyes were also cold and empty. "Oh" was all you could think. Your smile turned into a thin line making Shichiro send you a questionable look.
"Ugh let go of her you big animal." Kalego huffed. "Come on Y/N let's walk to class together." He said as he continued to walk. He didn't look back to see if you were following him.
Shichiro noticed your hesitation. "Ar....you....alright?" (Are you alright?) His voice beginning to drown out in your ears as well.
Placing your hands over your ears you stopped thinking for a second. You took deep breaths as you tried to calm yourself down. "I'm sorry I'm not feeling well."
"Do...yo...nee...the...urse?" (Do you need the nurse?) Shichiro asked
"No I don't need the nurse, I just need to talk to my father. Don't worry about me I'll be fine. You guys go ahead I wouldn't want you to be late." Walking away quickly you made your way to your father's office.
You knocked on the door before heading in. As soon as you stepped in your father jumped up from his seat excited to see you.
"Ah! Y/N! How nice of you to come to see me! Did you get lonely without me?" He chuckled as he hugged you tight. "Don't worry about class! How about you stay here with me and keep me company from all these papers I have to sign!"
Looking down at you he halted from speaking. Pushing you off of him just a bit he noticed the tears in your eyes. His hands trembled slightly as he freaked out. "Hey, what's wrong! Is it something to do with what happened this morning?"
Hugging him again you held him tightly. Your quiet sniffles fill the room. "Dad I want to go home. I don't want to be here anymore."
"Of course but you have to tell me what's wrong. Did someone hurt you in any way?" He asked, his tone changed. He was talking much more gently so as to not scare you away.
"Dad...I...don't know what to do. I can't face anyone."
"What do you mean?"
You stayed silent. You didn't mean to but you did. From the moment you walked into his office, you couldn't hear anything. Not even the ringing sound from earlier. It scared you truly.
The embrace with your father only radiated a slight warmth. But it wasn't enough. Would you stay like this forever? The thought of it scared you. "Why can't I hear you, dad? Please just take me home.." You whispered, your voice trembling with every word you spoke out loud.
