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Dec 31, 2018

Fear Is a Liar

My secret santa gift for Neka, I’m sorry it took so long, the final scene was fighting me so hard ;;__;; Hope you enjoy!

When Keith is dragged out to a lunapark by Shiro and Adam, he meets a certain boy, he definitely did not thought would be his reason to return to the lunapark again and again and again. At least until the day he meets his girlfriend...

4294 words

“Shiro, there really is no reason to.” Keith, standing at the counter and twirling a teabag in hot water, didn’t look back at his friend as he spoke. His eyes were glued to the screen of his phone instead, following the flowing words each time he swiped his thumb.

“Oh, come on, Keith. You’ve moved here what, five, almost six year ago and you have never visited it. I think it’s about time you fix that.”

“I thought it was just a tourist attraction the locals didn’t care about. So why, as a local, would I need to visit?” Keith pressed the excess water into his cup before he threw the teabag into the trash, an automated action he didn’t pay any attention to anymore - just like to Shiro’s tries to convince him.

“The tourists are more interested in the historical city center, since it’s unique. They can visit a lunapark anywhere else. So it’s not solemnly a tourist attraction.”

Keith looked up as the new voice rang too close to his ear and watched Adam peek over his shoulder, reading what was on his phone. He swiped it off.

“Do you mind?”

“And do you?” Adam looked at him with a grin on his lips. “I thought you read strictly non-fiction books?”

“It was a recommendation from Pidge.” Keith shrugged, rubbing his thumb over a piece of dirt stuck to the screen. “It’s quite nice. The main character-”

“Hey, don’t go skipping the subject.” Shiro stood up from the couch and moved towards the two of them. “We are still talking about you going with us to the lunapark, Keith.”

Keith grabbed his cup and turned around to face Shiro. There was no hurry in his movements. They were languid and slow as he held a spoon between two of his fingers and stirred his tea two times around the whole cup before he took a sip.

“Are we?” He looked at Shiro, who sighed and opened his mouth, but Keith jumped in before he could get any word out. “If we are still talking about me going to the lunapark, then please give me one good reason why should I be interested in going and playing the third wheel on your lunapark date.” With satisfaction Keith watched a soft pink layer appear on Shiro’s cheeks.

“You won’t be a third wheel. There will be more people than the three of us.” Shiro crossed his arms over his chest and gave Keith a look like this was the argument Keith wouldn’t be able to throw anything against.

“No really. It’s a lunapark, Shiro. It’s kind of given that there will be more people.”

Shiro groaned, in that exasperated kind of way when something drove him up the wall and for once Keith enjoyed playing the dumb one.

“What I meant-”

“I know, what you meant. But I still don’t understand, why us going in a group of ten people instead of just the three of us, should convince me to come along.” Keith took another sip of his black tea. If anything, it was the opposite - a larger group of people was one more reason for him to stay at home. “Are you having fun?” He side-eyed Adam, who stood next to them, hip leaning against the counter and listened to Keith’s and Shiro’s exchange in silence.

“Oh, I do. Quite a bit.” Adam grinned, his eyes flicking in Shiro’s direction, who was glaring at him as if to say ‘This is not why I brought you along, you were supposed to help.’

To say the truth, the situation was quite amusing for Keith as well. Perhaps a bit annoying, but mostly amusing. In the five, almost six years, Keith had lived in this city, he had found exactly four friends - Shiro, his boyfriend Adam, Shiro’s friend Matt and Matt’s sister Pidge. Which was more than enough for Keith, thank you very much. Shiro seemed to disagree on that point. With the infamous ‘You should find more friends of your age.’ one would hear from an over-concerned parent, Shiro constantly dragged Keith to various gatherings or places with higher concentration of people. Most times Keith at least humored him - for a bit before he slipped off to be a hermit in his own apartment again, curled on the couch with a book and a cup of tea in his lap.

Keith studied Shiro’s expression, the little pout he was still directing at Adam, knowing he would yield this time as well. It was difficult to say a complete no to Shiro, considered all he had done for Keith.

“Fine, I will go.” Shiro’s little “Yes!” at Keith’s response was almost adorable. “However,” Keith slid in before Shiro could start to celebrate. “You will leave me out of social gatherings for at least the next three months.” Keith sipped his tea with a smirk while Adam’s laugh rang through the apartment.

The lunapark was, as Keith had expected, loud and crowded. At least the early summer brought a weather that wasn’t too hot yet, which made the lunapark ordeal a bit more bearable. But comfortable weather couldn’t save everything.

The three of them met up with about eight other people in front of the lunapark’s gate. There were people of Shiro’s and Adam’s age, but also people of Keith’s age, as he had expected. He had been ready - for most things at least. He was not ready for this Mark guy, a friend of Shiro’s friend, who had missed the definition of personal space and was face-slapping obviously trying to hit on Keith. And right now Keith was really not in the mood for that.

Luckily, in all those years, Keith had also master the skill of unnoticed abscond. After about half an hour of listening to this guy’s uneducated advances, Keith had accidentally lost the group. The moment they were out of sight he also turned his cell phone off - a message for Shiro to not go looking for him.

The first option Keith had was to just go home. Easy and desirable, right? Even if he did not feel like turning his phone back on to continue the book from today morning, there was a large enough pile for him to pick from. But when Keith looked around the less crowded part of the lunapark he had wandered into, he admitted to himself, he had been quite curious about the lunapark - everyone always talked about it. Keith had just never found the drive for a visit on his own accord. But now he was already here, right? So it would not hurt to look around - as long as he avoided the group, of course.

The attractions in this part of the lunapark looked well used and quite old-fashioned, compared to the more modern part close to the entrance. It was probably the reason why there weren’t as many people around here. Keith only welcomed that - looking around without having to fight his way through a crowd was giving him a bit less of a headache. Or it would, would it not be for the loud, boisterous voice that boomed around here and of which he still haven’t found the source of. He seemed to be getting closer now, though, because the unintelligible jumble of words was getting clearer with every step.

When Keith stopped in the vicinity of a small booth, the voice was inviting him to come and try if today was his lucky shooting day. Well, not him personally, but a young man with a bright smile was trying to attract people to his ‘Galaxy Shooting Game’. He was prancing around with a toy gun in hands.

“Come closer to try your luck with this beautiful girl, there is no other like her. Just two dollars a shot. What about you, wanna check how good your aim is today?”

Keith crossed his arms over his chest - and this was what he was trying to find? So not worthy. Maybe it was about time he went back home.

“Hey, stop right there, Mullet! Where do you think you are going without stopping at the best booth of this lunapark?”

The voice bounced louder the moment Keith turned around and he rolled his eyes. *Someone should go try his stupid game just to shut him up.* With the next step the voice called out louder. And louder. With the third step Keith couldn’t but glance back to see, whom that person was trying to lure to his booth. Only to find out the guy was staring at him. Keith’s eyes widened when he was met with a teasing grin.

“I knew you wanted to try, come on, come closer, don’t be shy.”

*Would flipping the guy off be considered an appropriate reaction?* Keith frowned in the direction of the booth. He would not be swayed by the stupid challenge etched into that stupid grin. No way. No. Then why the hell was he walking closer?

“Hey, glad you made up your mind. The sparks in your eyes, about how you wanted to give this a try, were hard to overlook.”

“You can’t even recognize the eye color at such distance,” Keith deadpanned, only now noticing the piercing blue of the guy’s eyes, “let alone some non-existent sparks.”

“Oh, do not underestimate my sharpshooter eyes, they see what stays hidden from other people! So, how many shots do you think you will need to hit jackpot?”

“I… uhm, so I try to hit that target back there and…?” Keith’s eyes roamed over the interior of the booth.

“Never played the famous shooting game here? Now, let the great Lance explain and initiate you. You wouldn’t find a better shooting teacher.”

Keith rubbed at his nose. All he thought was he might get a quick in and quick out to wipe off that annoying smirk, but the way this guy was starting to explain things, this would take hours.

Keith didn’t know how long it all took, but it was dark when he was leaving the lunapark. He was about 30 dollars lighter and all the prizes were mocking him from their shelves at the booth. Considered the circumstance, this should have been Keith’s one and only visit to the lunapark.

Keith had no clue why he kept coming back. The lunapark was loud and the guy was obnoxious. He couldn’t get rid of the grating voice even as he tossed and turned in his bed at night.

But aside from being obnoxious, the guy was also funny. At least moderately so, since he managed to make Keith laugh a few times. He was also patient when he was teaching Keith how to shoot. And actually not so bad to talk to once he stopped yelling around to attract people and settled into a lower tone to converse with Keith.

Somewhere along the way of Keith coming back, the obnoxious guy has shifted into Lance and Keith’s heart has shifted into dangerous territory. He noticed it every time Lance smiled at him now. Noticed it every time Lance leaned in closer to gossip about a passer-by, his warm breath fanning over Keith’s cheek. Noticed it in how fast his heart started to beat when their hands brushed and how deliberately he was trying to make their hands brush. And noticed it especially once he went to consult with Shiro if it would be worth a shot to try asking Lance out.

Keith’s heart was pounding the moment he set a foot out of his apartment that day and he expected it to burst out of his chest once he passed the lunapark gate. *I have nothing to lose. I have nothing to lose.* He repeated Shiro’s words, his brain trying to yell louder than his heart did, but it was futile. Keith’s nervosity and fear spurred his heart on and he was sure Lance would her it once he was hundred meters away from the booth. Well, Keith was not sure if Lance heard that, but he definitely must have heard Keith’s heart cracking several minutes later.

Keith saw the girl at the booth from afar. That was nothing new, of course, as the point of the booth was that people came closer. Lance’s flirting wasn’t new either, he did throw sugar coated words left and right for his customers, no matter their gender. His smile… while it wasn’t new on itself, Lance using it outside of private moments with people he knew was definitely new. Keith saw Lance smile like that at his best friend Hunk, who came by a few times while Keith was there. Keith himself needed several weeks of talking to Lance to catch a glimpse of it thrown at him for the first time. There was more honesty etched into it than in the smiles Lance offered to the customers.

It made Keith waver as he came closer, noticing other things that were also new. The arm around the girl’s shoulder was. Fingers playing with her hair, strand after strand twirled around Lance’s fingers. Lance not trying to persuade her to a game - he still was attempting that with Keith after three months. But this, this definitely wasn’t a scene of Lance talking to a customer. Keith faltered with his next step. Maybe he should just go home, like he should have on his first day in the lunapark. Maybe he would, if Lance hadn’t spotted him and waved at him like the biggest goofball, with the widest grin Keith ever saw him make.

“Keith! Glad you made it today. I’m happy you can meet Allura, she is the most important person in the whole world to me.”

With teeth digging deep into his lower lip, Keith watched Lance lean over the counter and press a kiss into Allura’s nose. The most important person in the whole world. Keith bit his teeth together so hard his gums ached.

“Hello, nice to meet you. I’m Allura.”

The girl was sweet. Her voice was sweet, her smile was sweet and the handshake Keith accepted seemed to leave a sweet, sticky residue on his fingers as well. Everything was so sweet his stomach churned, as Keith tried not to pin any blame on her. His feelings were not Allura’s fault.

“Nice to meet you too, Allura.” It was nice. It really was. It was nice to get to know Lance’s girlfriend before Keith made an idiot out of himself by asking Lance out. He cursed himself stupid for never considering that, because of course someone like Lance would already have someone.

“Keith?”

Keith snapped out of his thoughts when Lance addressed him. On the verge of his mind he did register that Lance was talking, but he had no clue what it was about.

“Sorry, I got a bit lost in my thoughts. What was it?” Keith forced on a smile.

“I was just wondering… if you’d want to grab dinner with us later.”

Keith was sure something was wrong with his hearing. Why would Lance want him to tag along on the dinner-date with his girlfriend?

“Yeah, I would love to get to know the Keith, Lance can’t stop mentioning, a bit better.”

Lance opened his mouth, but snapped it close when Keith looked at him. It made Keith aware he was glaring, but he couldn’t help himself. It was nice of Lance as well to talk about him to his girlfriend, but never mentioning her when talking to Keith.

*Well, why should he? It’s not like you two are extraordinarily close.* Keith’s mind supplied helpfully, making him more and more uncomfortable with this whole situation.

“I already have plans for tonight, sorry.” It consumed a lot of Keith’s willpower to force his expression to be less sour. His mind was right - it wasn’t like Lance had been giving him any hints or hopes during Keith’s visits. It was Keith himself who had tripped and fallen deep. “Actually, I have to go already. Just wanted to stop by today and say a short hi.”

Under the scrutinizing looks of both of them, Keith wanted nothing else but leave. “It was nice meeting you, Allura. Lance.” He didn’t give them the chance to say goodbye before he took off, pushing his way through the crowd that has gathered on this unusually warm autumn day. The sun felt like it forgot what season it was and got lost in summer thoughts. Keith hated it. Hated the warmth pouring down on his skin, making the freezing cold chills that danced through him more pronounced.

“You haven’t been to the lunapark for quite a while.”

Keith wished he could ignore Shiro’s voice and pretend his apartment was still silent and his reading undisturbed. But he knew that once Shiro started… “Hmm.” He gave a short nod, not taking his eyes away from his phone and hoping for the best. What came, was the worst.

“Did something happen with Lance? Did he turn you down when you asked him out?”

How should he answer that? That a turn down wouldn’t be as bad? Keith swiped his phone off, but instead of looking at Shiro, who was sitting on the couch across him, Keith looked at the poor excuse of a plant he was keeping. He had never been good at taking care of plants, but this one gift from Pidge somehow had enough willpower to linger on even under Keith’s horrible care. He should probably water it soon. How long has it been since the last time? A month or so? A month since he had visited the lunapark for the last time.

“Keith?”

Keith’s eyes flicked to Shiro and the attempt to swallow words stuck in his throat failed. Instead they bubbled out.

“I met Lance’s girlfriend.” At least he didn’t have a thing for over-dramatizing, spilling how he was introduced to her the day he gathered his courage to ask Lance out.

“Oh Keith, I’m so sorry.” The palm on his shoulder made Keith realize that he had spilled just that. Damn. Definitely not something Shiro needed to know.

“It’s okay, Shiro. It was just a stupid crush, it will pass.” Keith shrugged, fiddling with his phone. At the moment the tight feeling that had settled around his heart a month ago didn’t feel like it would ever go away.

The silence had returned to Keith’s apartment. Several minutes of absolute silence in which Keith concentrated on taking deep breaths. They weren’t calming at all, just game more room for thoughts.

“What about we head to the Christmas market?”

Keith scrunched his face. “Considered the result of the last time you had taken me out to a place with a huge amount of people, no thank you.”

“Come on, Keith. We will go to the one at the castle’s yard. It’s smaller, not so full. Some fresh air, waffles and Christmas punch. I’m sure it will do you good.”

Keith looked up to Shiro, ready to argue that he was not setting a foot out of his apartment to go to Christmas market, but the emotions swirling in Shiro’s eyes stopped him from saying any words. This stupid crush was sitting deeper than Keith was ready to admit and Shiro seemed to feel that. He also felt that it wouldn’t go away until Keith actively helped it along, which Keith knew himself. He just lingered on, like the goddamn plant chocking down any nutrients that were left in the soil.

“Fine. Just let me water my plant first.”

“Okay, so you go get the waffles and I will bring the punch. I swear that booth over there sells the best punch you can find in this whole city.”

With a sigh Keith watched Shiro trot off, eyes flicking to the queue at the booth. If that was any indication how good the punch was, then it must really taste godly. Wasn’t Shiro talking about there being less people here? Seemed they all had gathered around that Christmas punch booth. Keith shoved his hands deeper into the pockets of his jacket and walked over to get the waffles. Aside from punch booths, this was the only food booth in the yard, but through some miracle there weren’t that many people here. At least he could quickly grab the waffles and station himself somewhere aside from this commotion, which reminded him of the lunapark with all the noise and all the talking.

“Hey, one chocolate and one strawberry waffle, please.” Keith glanced over the menu before he pulled out a palm full of coins from his pocket and started to gather the right amount.

“Hey, did you come here today to check how good your aim is?”

Keith’s head shot up at the words, at the voice, and all of his change fell into the mess of trampled snow at his feet. Confronted with the sight of Lance with a white and red striped apron over his thick winter sweater, grinning at him from inside the booth, Keith was speechless. He opened and closed his mouth several times before he finally stuttered.

“Lance? What… What are you doing here?”

“I’m usually helping Hunk with his booth once the Christmas markets start.” Nonchalant as ever, acting as if he had told Keith many times before, but Keith just hadn’t remembered.

“Oh.”

*Very eloquent, Keith.* But he just couldn’t bring out more than that. No other words were coming and even if his brain tried to put together a few sentences, they dissipated before they reached Keith’s mouth. The silence between them stretched into an uncomfortable length.

“Hey, Keith! Nice to see you again.”

Keith had registered the flash of white hair from the corner of his eye, but hadn’t paid it any attention until Allura’s cheerful voice ripped the awkward silence into pieces. He blinked when he saw her elbowing Lance in the side and Lance clear his throat and shift on the spot.

“Uh, hi Allura.”

“How have you been? Lance had totally-” Lance’s hand pressed against Allura’s mouth and pushing her away stopped her from talking further.

“Keith wants two waffles. Go, go, that’s your job.”

Right, the waffles. The money. Keith looked at the coins strewn around his feet and cursed. Picking them up would be fun.

“Do you need help?”

Keith looked up from where he had squatted down at Lance’s head peeking over the counter. He grabbed a fistful of coins along with snow and everything and just barely didn’t knock Lance out as he shot back to his feet.

“No, no, I got this. H-how much are the two waffles?” Keith flicked bits of snow out of his palm when he caught a sight that almost made him drop the coins again. Allura, who was manning the waffle iron, had a blond girl draped over herself and they were talking, laughing and kissing. His eyes went from the pair to Lance and back multiple times, confusion not elevated in the slightest when they settled on Lance.

“Are you in a poly relationship or what?” Keith blurted out before he could stop himself, stunning Lance into silence.

“I… what?” were the only two words Lance was capable of.

“I mean you, and Allura and that…” Keith’s voice drifted off when Lance looked around and started to laugh.

“Me with these two? Keith, Allura and Romelle were in a relationship since they were what, sixteen?”

“But back at the lunapark… you said Allura is the most important person in the whole world.” Keith’s emotions were so mixed right now he couldn’t pick them apart no matter how he tried.

“And she is! She is my best friend. Did you thought she was my girlfriend?”

Was the ground opening right under his feet? Keith wished it would do that and he would disappear. This was the most embarrassing moment he had ever been in. Lance was gawking at him like he had grown a second head and Keith deserved that. He had just accepted the fact that Allura was Lance’s girlfriend by himself and didn’t let Lance introduce her fully.

“Keith… that isn’t why you didn’t come to the lunapark for a month, or?”

Keith bit into his lip. How could he answer this question without making an even bigger idiot out of himself? He had… shot without considering and completely missed the big red target that was his chance. He averted his eyes and looked at his feet.

“I’ve missed you.”

Keith’s heart went from zero to hundred under one second and heat crept up his neck when he heard those words. Lance was looking at him with a shy smile, a smile Keith had never seen before, and his cheeks were also dusted in pink.

“I was wondering the whole time what I did wrong that you haven’t stopped by after that day. If I made you uncomfortable with the dinner question. And the whole time you were…”

“Please stop rubbing more salt into the wound,” Keith groaned, the shame still burning the tips of his ears.

“Only if you accept that dinner offer. I’m sure you will love both Allura and Romelle, or if you would prefer… it could be just us two.”

Keith shivered, his eyes staring deep into Lance’s to find a hint that his offer was… yes, yes it was. Lance’s arm was outstretched, his palm ready to accept the coins Keith wanted to pay with, so Keith did. He dropped all the snow-free coins into the waiting palm. Except this time he was not even pretending their fingers brushed by accident, as he let them linger in Lance’s palm.

“I would love… a dinner for two.”

#klance #background adashi #vld #secret santa exchange #geisterwrites

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