#bad narrative

[generalluxun]

Can you please tell me the difference between Chloe’s using Marinette’s parents as human shields in “Sole Crusher” and Chloe’s using Sabrina as human shield in “Zombizou”?

Off the top of my head because there's very little time.:

Zombisu made narrative sense (non lethal attack, Sabrina at hand, panic response, etc) much like using Zoé in Optigami worked.

Soul Crusher was desperately forced to try and drive home 'Chloé bad.' They had her run to Marinette bakery specifically so they could have that moment. It was several shots of screen time expressly for that one purpose.

[faithnfrivolity]

FEMA Head Said He Was Unaware Of U.S. Hurricane Season, Sources Say

It was not clear to agency staff whether he meant it literally, as a joke, or in some other context.

"Hurricane Season"?! What's dat?! 🧐🤷🏼‍♂️🤦🏼‍♂️

[ladyfarona]

So disappointed in The Haunting of Leigh Harker. I'm barely 3 pages in and it's so painful to read. First person in present tense with unnecessary amounts of useless details in the first chapter. God. Give me a phone book to read instead.

Hey Writer, something scary is in your character's hallway. You opened with that tense atmosphere and immediately lost me because you dumped heckin' amounts of filler on the story. I don't want to know about the character's antique telephone or their messy desk or the excruciating detail of the oak tree casting shadows in the room. The flow of this is utterly terrible. This story feels like a lawnmower that won't crank. Will it ever start? Not sure I should keep reading. First person I can forgive. Present tense with first person is slightly more offensive. All that combined with bad flow padded with unnecessary details makes me feel like I'm wasting my time. Think I'll skip this one.