Well I finally found something that could stop me from dancing. A 7' ladder falling down on the back of my leg and nailing my Achilles right at the bottom of my calf. While copious obscenities poured out of me at somewhere around 110 db I am damn proud of myself. A year ago I would have went utter berserker, and thrown it through the wall and then beaten it into a hundred pieces no matter how much pain I felt.
Cursing aside, that is definitely a big change in directing my energy away from boundless anger and physical violence. I used visualization to calm myself. Guess what I visualized? Me and you driving in my truck, your head on my shoulder with my nose buried in your hair breathing you in, your arms around my right arm, our hands entwined, and both of us looking like we were as utterly at peace and happy as most people dream they could be. It took me from near rage to serenity with a huge smile on my face in a split second. I miss my happy place baby.
It's swollen and hurts like a bitch. It might be ruptured. Goddamnit, feels like it might even be fractured. Ahhhh, and all because I wanted to send you a picture. 🤬