#badlndzz

[heartxshaped-bruises]

✧･ﾟ @badlndzz 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐗 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐀 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆  

        ❛❛You know what I think ?? I think you’re making all this shit up -- you’re really taking me for an idiot, aren’t you?❜❜

[nickygalitzine]

thank you, mon petit soleil, for providing splendid resources. hope you have a great day and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Aww, wow, this is so sweet. Thank you so much! You too!

[erstwhles]

NEUL HAD NO SUCH RIGHT. SHE SHOULDN’T HAVE been standing outside his door with nothing but warm tears and a broken heart, a heart that, however barren and rotten it was, still belonged to him, for whatever he wished to do. Yet a tiny part of Neul hoped that he wanted to love her, that he took what was left of her heart and took care of it. Let Atticus be the home she always had and wanted to return to. Although, seeing him laugh, Neul suppressed a sob, her hand, once buried against her own chest, now rose to meet her trembling lips.

She should understand the signs, no? But she refused to believe that she had lost him, and if that was the point, she wanted to hear him say it. She needed to hear him say there was someone else. That it wasn't her and could never be. Neul was broken, she was torn apart, and it was unfair that she wanted him so much. But for someone who's lived in hell and caught a glimpse of heaven when in his arms, she wasn't ready to give it up. Not his.

“ That's the point… ” A sob broke her lips, forcing her to take a deep breath, brown eyes flooded with tears fixed on his. “ There was never anyone else, and there never could be. I loved you. I love you. And it will always be like that, Atticus... No matter how much I run away, how much I refuse to see it, it's you. Because we belong together… you embrace my pain, but you're not a painkiller. You are my life. All motives. All reasons. It's you... and forgive me if it's too late for both of us, but I can wait for you, because I can't live a happy life without you being in it. ”

continued / @badlndzz​​

“Hold on―I...” Glancing over his shoulder, beyond the open doorway, Atticus flips on the porch light. He reaches an arm around to the other side of the door and then steps forward, jacket in hand. It’s not freezing outside, but the change of seasons is evidenced by the nip in the breeze.

“You’re right,” he says, finally, shoving both hands in his pockets as he circles the porch. “It is late, Neul. Why―why now?” Standing with his back to her, Atticus lets his gaze drop to the ground. “I spent so long trying to make sense of what you said. About why you left. About why we wouldn’t work, and―and all of the reasons why you couldn’t do this.” Another chuckle breaks through the tension in the air as he turns to face her. Maybe it isn’t fair to her. After all, Atticus knows why she was hesitant in the first place, but not even that knowledge had been enough to dull the constant ache in his chest that had only just begun to dissipate.

“All of that for you to show up here―” At their old house. His house. “And act like I didn’t spend weeks trying to make things work while you... disappeared?”

[erstwhles]

please don’t be in love with someone else ❪ Atticus + Neul ❫

please don't be in love with someone else

He laughs, but the sound holds more frustration and confusion than intended. Regardless, a laugh isn't the most inspiring response to her question, it is? But it is better than just walking away, and that was his first instinct.

After everything that they have been through... The breakup, which was initiated by her. The in-between period, which mostly consisted of nights spent alone in what was supposed to be their forever home. The time spent moving on, which meant going on a lot of dates that he wasn't really interested in with people who were perfect in every way if he were only willing to put aside the fact that they weren't her.

Atticus has to laugh.

"I..." He takes a deep breath, letting his shoulders rise and fall alongside a deep breath. "I wish you knew how many nights I sat there, asking myself that about you."