#based on personal feels

[tsukinohimeusagi]

Worth the wait

Soooooooo, yeah, I needed to vent some not so great feelings. What better way than some inukag angst, am I right? Idk if this is going to be a one shot or something that I touch on occasionally when I need to brain dump. I guess we’ll see?

TW: Blood, Infertility, Slight Depression

Blood.

A single drop of blood in the center of her panties.

She felt numb, completely detached from the rest of the world, as she stared at the offending little dot.

Kagome wasn’t sure why her next thought was to yell. Or why the thought after was to cry. As soon as she’d felt that tell tale pressure, a cramp just waiting for the right time to hit her, she’d known today wasn’t the day.

She wasn’t sure when that day would be. If she was being honest with herself, she wasn’t sure that day would ever come. The day that she could tell her husband, her wonderful, cranky, husband that he was going to be a father.

It wasn’t like they didn’t want this; on the contrary, they had been wanting this for years. Sure, it had taken Inuyasha a few to get used to the idea, and Kagome herself had wanted some time as just the two of them before trying.. And it wasn’t like they weren’t trying. They most certainly were. But...

Kagome sighed, feeling the tell tale pricks of tears threatening to fall. As soon as they were allowed to fall, she wouldn’t be able to stop them. Her next breath was unsteady, her mind on auto pilot as she went about getting situated again. Who knew how long she had before-

“Kagome.” He called from the other side of the door, a second after knocking.

The corners of her lips tilted up slightly before falling. While she was forever grateful that Inuyasha was so attentive, sometimes she needed some air. There was but so much heartache and sadness she could take; it felt like a physical weight. Throw his own heartache and sadness on top of it and she felt like the world was on her shoulders.

Kagome sighed again. She knew as soon as she tried to talk, Inuyasha would know something was bothering her. In a way, she wished she could just stay here, in the bathroom, to hide from the one person who knew her pain and sorrow as well as she did. But she knew that wasn’t right; he deserved to know why she wouldn’t be able to smile today, or why she’d be less than talkative.

She just hoped, albeit a tiny one, that these days where she wanted to scream and cry, were soon to be a thing of the past.

X

This...whatever it is, has another part now. Read it here.

Worth the wait part 2 My brain wouldn’t leave me alone last night, so I decided to write some more before attempting sleep. This hasn’t been

[tsukinohimeusagi]

Worth the wait part 2

My brain wouldn’t leave me alone last night, so I decided to write some more before attempting sleep. This hasn’t been edited or anything, so sorry in advance for any typos or what have you.

Two years later...

Kagome faced the window the entire ride back from the doctor’s office, her body hunched in on itself. Inuyasha kept stealing glances at her, his fist clenched around the steering wheel as he listened to her silent tears.

What should have been a visit with more answers than questions turned out to be, for lack of a better phrase, absolute shit. Kagome has been a trooper the past few weeks, researching all that she could to help her get pregnant. They’d even started eating healthier, cutting out almost all junk food. Hell, he’d even stopped having ramen as much.

And when it came time for her to get tested, she’d been amazing then too. He’d been stunned when the doctor said they were running twenty tests. But Kagome didn’t even bat an eyelash; she simply nodded, her eyes alight with resolve.

Inuyasha had to keep himself from smacking the technician when she almost passed out. He must have been growling too by the look Kagome has given him half out of it. But he kept his cool, and rewarded her with a trip to their favorite ice cream shop, though they got frozen yogurt with tons of fruit toppings instead.

Their life had become so hectic, he wasn’t sure how they were getting decent sleep. Doctors appointments were on the other side of town. That meant they were missing work frequently. Somehow they made it work.

All spare money they had went into savings, for anything baby related. They took turns making sure they both had lunches packed the night before for work. Somehow one or both of them would remember to pay bills and clean their house. Not to mention the sex that they had basically scheduled out.

Inuyasha glared out the windshield. That was the part he hated almost as much as what Kagome was going through. Sex was supposed to be fun. It was supposed to be spontaneous, to ignite fires of passion for his sexy as hell wife. It wasn’t supposed to be scheduled, or done in certain positions.

Fucking hell. It wasn’t supposed to be this hard. And now...

Inuyasha stole a glance at Kagome’s huddled form. She had been quiet since the doctor told her about her condition. It was like she had checked out, stating off into space. Inuyasha asked the doctor question after question about what the next step was. And when he couldn’t think of any more, he had to practically support Kagome all the way to their car. She’d barely moved since, quietly sniffling occasionally.

Inuyasha wasn’t sure how he could help her. He felt so fucking helpless; what could he say to her? “Sorry we’re having a harder time getting pregnant cause you have a condition?” Yeah, like that would go over well.

His ears wilted as he sighed. Inuyasha couldn’t even begin to imagine how upset and heartbroken she must be. What he was feeling was probably a small fraction of what she was feeling now.

Damn, had she been feeling like this every time she got her period? For the past two years? Feeling like less of a woman because she couldn’t give him what they both wanted?

Inuyasha could feel his anger growing again. Not at Kagome, but at their situation. He had asked as much as he could of the doctor before his mind went blank.

He wasn’t about to let all the information go to waste. Not if he could help it; especially cause he wanted his Kagome back.