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the concept of james and his relationship with intimacy and touch post hydra is something very important to me and i try and incorporate it in a ton of my writing because the core of so much human connection is touch to some capacity. james carries his guilt as if its been burned into the very marrow of his bones. not only does it follow him everywhere but he sees a physical manifestation of it everyday. the metal of his arm is a reminder ( as if he could ever forget ) that is quite literally cauterized into his body. frankenstein's monster cannot see his own reflection without also seeing his maker in every stitch.
when it comes down to it, it is a sub-conscious and instinctual reaction to reach out with his left arm when acting on affection. there is so much bucky thinks he deserves and not one of them is tenderness. a silent form of self-flagellation that he never really recognizes that he's doing. the warmth of a lover's skin or the sensation of hair falling between fingers – all of it often self-denied on the grounds of unearned humanity. instinctive abnegation; nearly an attempt at reparations for souls that will never see the effort.