A Break Inside
A Break Inside, it seems to be a weird title and begs to be an odd post. However for me it is a profound experience that is also painful and promising.
I am a Christian. Raised in the church, accepted Christ as a child, stayed a virgin until my wedding night Christian. Religion and God has always been important to me, even though at times I have wandered and quoting/memorizing scripture has never been a strong suit for me. For a long time I haven’t felt connected let alone fully surrendered to God. I did my best to live as I should, but there was an internal disconnect. Overtime I have felt this dam of emotions and spirituality welling up inside me. I knew one day it was going to break loose and my life was going to change in drastic and painful ways. I resisted it. I wanted my life (which I really only ever complained about) to stay the same. But yesterday after an amazing sermon it broke through. I finally gave in. I have felt so empty and exhausted for so long, it was time.
The last time I had this break inside me was immediately prior to my beginning a relationship with my now wife. I recently began streaming on Twitch, the sermon spoke to me in deeply personal ways, but also spoke into my new hobby. What a great new way to reach people and shine some light into their lives! Not only can I be upbeat and entertaining, but also a positive influence on my viewers lives by trying to plant seeds within them! But one step at a time, I need to keep cleaning up my language....
Twitch.tv/murkymememachine