19.05.2015
Can I call this post #TruthfulTuesdays? Is this an actual thing? Nevertheless, I’m going to open up a bit on here. The issue of love and its obvious deficiency in my life has been reverberating on my mind as of late. Also, the ability to verbally communicate life feelings effectively is proving to be bothersome, and that may also stem from my upbringing. Now I don’t want to give the impression that I grew up in a home where appreciation wasn’t showed, it was. Not always in a verbal proclamation but in nuanced ways. Glances of approval and non threatening body language. Every way love could be expressed in between the cracks of the conventional way. And this too could be as a result of where the heart of my family’s love language lies. There are five in total; gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch.
Every past experience I’ve had until now proves to me that my family’s love language is mostly acts of service. Every thing we do for each other without an actual explanation to why, not because we don’t necessarily know how to (although that won’t be far from the truth) but because we’re not accustomed to. It seems alien to us, to belt out lengthy ‘touchy’ and ‘mushy’ words followed by embrace.
We do not know how to do that well. We don’t.
This reason or this way of upbringing is now a stumbling block for me when I find myself in circles where physical touch, gifts, words of affirmation are cherished. I can identify with the people there, but naturally I’m out of my element. Life is really all about learning, and relearning. There are things I’m going to have to pick up on and now is a good time to start.
If you’re having trouble expressing your love in conventional ways, I want to encourage you to work through it and most importantly don’t lose your essence of self. Love in a way only you can.