#becausegodlovesugly

[becausegodlovesugly]

Blessin’ up to the water goddesses in Telluride last week. 💦💦💦

[becausegodlovesugly]

Nostalgia.

I thought of you today. Then I creeped a bit, & realized that you think of me too. A lot, actually. You made me cry today, simply as me looking at words on a screen, aimed in my direction, puncturing the fucking depths of my soul. I wish you weren’t hurting. I wish it wasn’t because of me. & I wish I wasn’t lying here awake at 2:25 am, thinking of the way it would be right now, if things hadn’t changed. I wish I was better. I wish I could have made you happier. Happier than I did. I thought of you today. & I’ll think of you tomorrow, too. I’ll never stop loving you, either. I never have. & I’m sorry. Because a little part of me hopes you look at this & cry too. I just want you to know that I’m torn. Irrevocably. Because of you. )

[becausegodlovesugly]

**RANT** don't mind me.

So there's this boy. He's my everything. & I seriously mean everything. & it sucks because he is in a rut, a rut that I can't help with right now. & it's getting him down so much that it's hurting him like crazy. Making him physically ill. I just want to be the one that can flip moods on a turn of a dime. That can make him smile regardless of the circumstances. His happiness is all that matters to me, & I don't think he realizes that when he is upset, I feel his pain but x20. Seeing the one you love hurt and suffer from sorrow & self-doubt, & not being able to change it, is one of the most frustrating & complicated things you can deal with. But every day that I wake up & feel like I'm just another burden, I look at his calm, peaceful, perfect face of unconcious serenity, & I realize why I came in the first place; to put a smile on his face in the hardest of times, to be the one to kiss his forehead & tell him it will all be okay, for the billionth time, with hopes that he will one day believe it. I love this man. I pray, & I don't pray much, that I will one day be able to put a ring on his finger, & promise that, through sickness & health, through the good & the bad, I am one he can turn to, one he can depend on, & one he can have to be all his own. I never want it any other way. Ever.

[hellowednesday]

How would you define love?

putting someone’s happiness before yours, when you’d completely sacrifice everything for someone and not care about yourself 

url: whut | great | amazing | marry me | i will sell my soul to satan for this

theme: whut | great | amazing | marry me | i will sell my soul to satan for this

posts: whut | great | amazing | marry me | i will sell my soul to satan for this

overall: whut | great | amazing | marry me | i will sell my soul to satan for this

following: sorry, not yet | already am | yess!

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