#beka complains

[hispeculiartreasure]

I’m just gonna vent about my feelings here because I don’t wanna burden anyone irl.

I felt so fat at a friend’s wedding today. Being the fat friend in pictures fucking sucks

Everyone else at said wedding has their lives and their shit together and I’m just little old me puttering along trying to stay alive

Sad, unmotivated, lethargic, little old me can see that I’m not doing well but I have zero energy to do anything

Tired of feeling so bad about myself

I haven’t had alone time for 3 days and my eye is twitching from all the socializing

Basically my self care is in the toilet right now and I don’t know how to dig myself out so

[hispeculiartreasure]

🙄

I have been at work for precisely 58 minutes and the dumbass-ery of people continues to astound me. This day is already promising to be an utterly stupid one.

[hispeculiartreasure]

Not Sure if this is a Good Sign

But instead of crying tragically like I wanted to upon entering the office, I laughed maniacally when I poured my entire glass of just-right sweet iced tea into my lap mid-conversation with a coworker. She genuinely asked if I was okay.

And I just laughed and laughed. If you see a Texas woman on the news tomorrow giggling in an unsettling way after having committed a crime, know it’s probably me.

[hispeculiartreasure]

Should have known weird hours at work today was going to throw me off. 1:30pm-9pm. I thought, oh yay! I can be super productive in the morning and get this and this and this done and-

Nope. Slept until 11am, watched TV, got ready, and left. This building is spooky when the sun goes down; I am not a fan. And I have little to no motivation for the work that’s left to be done.

Welp. There’s my whining for the day, hope your evening is better than mine. 💖

[hispeculiartreasure]

Thor, My Buddy

I’m sorry if you feel like you aren’t getting enough attention but this insane lightning/thunderstorm/torrential downpour is not the way to get it.

Good Lord that commute was awful. My car slid all over the highway. I’m so stressed out I’m already craving all the caffeine that I can’t have. I should’ve stayed in bed.

Send tea, soda, or even alcohol at this point.

Thor, you owe me an apology.

[hispeculiartreasure]

You Know What I Hate Today???

That I have to wear makeup every day. And if I don’t, it’s deemed “unprofessional”. I just wanna be barefaced today but I’m sitting here procrastinating putting it on until the last possible second. Sigh.

[hispeculiartreasure]

HAHAHAHA

TODAY HAS BEEN SUCH A HORRIBLE DAY!!!!

I AM SUCH AN ANXIOUS DISASTER!!!!!

I DROVE THROUGH TWO TORNADO WARNINGS BY MYSELF!!

I HAD TO VISIT MY DREADFUL EMOTIONALLY/VERBALLY MANIPULATIVE AND/OR ABUSIVE GRANDPARENTS!!!!

I CRIED THE WHOLE DRIVE HOME!!!!

THEN I GET HOME AND HAVE AN ANXIETY ATTACK!!!!!

EVERYTHING IS GREAT I AM FINE THIS IS FINE I AM NOT A MESS.

[hispeculiartreasure]

WHY

Why did I agree to babysit after a long day of work???? Why have these two children under the age of two years old been crying for 4 hours???? Why won’t they sleep?????

I JUST WANT FIVE MINUTES OF QUIET OR IM GONNA BE THE THIRD ONE CRYING