So I'm in trouble but... also inching my way out of it. Precariously.
Yet I still need help.
I've covered the last few months in two other posts, so forgive me for a brief summary before an update.
In September, my mother killed herself when I told her I wanted to move out. She had B(borderline)PD and it'd gotten bad. I couldn't take it anymore.
Unfortunately, I'd quit my job to take care of her after a series of hospital stays and to also secretly do her job for her, as it paid better, and we could survive on it as long as I kept my head down and just did the work.
So overnight I lost my mother and my job. I had no savings because her self-destructive behavior was stealing to buy herself things, and by then she'd stolen my identity and tanked my credit.
With the help of a friend, distant family members, and you guys, I managed to stay afloat a little longer searching for a way to survive. There's no social help available where I live; my last hope was to plead with my aunt to allow me to sleep in her garage while I worked and saved money, paying her what I could in rent, and she told me I wasn't a part of her family.
By then I hadn't been able to pay November's rent, but the landlords kindly did not evict me until this week. With the aid of a friend I've moved temporarily into a motel, and my luck is turning around because I've found a room to rent at a decent price! There's finally a way forward instead of the constant wall I kept slamming into.
I'm terrified. But for once I'm also hopeful. It's a new city, strangers I don't know, and I intend to find a job immediately, but I need a little help. I'm afraid to lose my chance if just one thing doesn't go right. Any money I receive will be spent to pay my phone bill (so that I can apply to jobs), bus fare (more job applying) and a little food. (energy for even MORE job applying)
All I can offer in return for any generosity is my fic writing services, and I will gladly do so. (Okay, well, I could also alpha/beta for you and make moodboards but honestly, I'm not sure anyone wants that. Unless... anyone want a tarot reading? no? okay, I'll shush.)
I'm uh, not ashamed to admit that I'm starting to get overwhelmed and have likely rambled on enough, so I'll just drop the links and say thank you for reading this far. Truly--thank you for listening. It means a lot to me.
GoFundMe
Ko-Fi
CashApp: $dkbauer
(Ah, one final thing; If you donated before this and want a fic, please poke me! You can remain anonymous if you like, ko-fi will let you message me and my anon asks are also open, just pop in your receipt with your request so I know which donation was yours.)
I very much did not want to do this, but I'm down to the last packs of ramen/out of meds and still haven't found a job. (Interview on Sunday though, so that's something!) So, um. anything you can spare would be deeply appreciated, and as always, the offer of fic/beta'ing/moodboarding is on the table.
ko-fi
And if you can't spare anything, that's okay! Lots of things going on, absolutely a mad world out there. You taking care of you is important. ♥
First off! I'll be picking up my goal of 100 books a year again and will post a tracker next, feel free to join in and/or give recommendations as the year progresses. ❤ I'm a voracious but lazy reader, so I don't venture outside of my usual circle of authors as often as I should, which is actually the point of the tracker!
Secondly, I want to show off the podfic @sweet-cynic did of stubborn in the bones and the delicious Padobi/Masterkin @ossidae-passeridae wrote for silly ol' me. 💕
stubborn in the bones (podfic)
surrender | be moved and shaken
Yessss, yesss, look at the pretty, look at it!
Third, and really what you're interested in--State of Fic Updates and Previews!
ACTIVE WIPS:
[Hartwin] a tender gasp of inevitable ache ch2: 3k in, rough outline written out. Guesstimating something like 6k for this one.
Then Merlin pipes up.
“God, I thought you two couldn’t get more obnoxious.”
Neither of them starts. Kingsman trained them too well for that. But Eggsy’s fingers curl around the stem of his fork before relaxing. Since there’s no data being fed into his glasses, he assumes this is an informal check-in.
He places another forkful of tender, exquisite salmon on his tongue, closing his lips around the tines and dragging the fork out without breaking eye contact with Harry. This might be mainly to yank Merlin’s tail, but he can’t deny that Harry watching him make a slaggy spectacle of himself ignites a forbidden, heady thrill. It’s better than the cock of a well-oiled gun—better even than firing off a snazzy one-liner when taking out bad guys.
[Hartwin] always be something sacred ch3: 1.6k in, some thorny things to work out. Might be a split POV chapter, might also end up being 5 chapters total after all, we'll see!
“Opinion on a blockade?” Harry asks, shrugging off his jumper, heading for the hidden armory beneath the staircase. He’d long ago bought and hollowed out the neighboring houses that bracketed his own for security and usage—pressing his palm against the wooden panel reveals a hidden entrance.
It’s amazing that Eggsy, despite all his rightful suspicions and cleverness, has never figured this secret out. He would have loved it. There’s no need for Harry to close his eyes and imagine that boy’s delight, he knows the exact grin that Eggsy would flash, his choked, skeptical laughter, his glee. How carefully Harry would have to watch his hands to ensure that Eggsy didn’t pocket anything.
Pain digs sharp claws behind his breastbone. He ignores it. Regret can come later, after Eggsy isn’t at the mercy of an unknown enemy.
Obi-Wan groans again. He stumbles onto his sleeping bag and lies there, gritting his teeth. Through their bond, Anakin experiences an echo of the pure need threatening to drag the nineteen-year-old into a feral state.
Or that will kill him.
Anakin swears in Huttese. If he were better at mind suggestions or at meditation, if he could karking heal, he could help. If he were an alpha, he could superimpose his will and force Obi-Wan to calm down.
And if he were an omega…
Well. Anakin didn’t successfully see one Padawan through an intergalactic war only to lose his second Padawan to something as ridiculous as this.
[Obikin] Untitled2: another irredeemable smutty oneshot, yay!
“Are you sure that you’re alright, Anakin?” Obi-wan asks for the third time, exasperated to the point where no matter what Anakin claims, he’s going to stop their walk and examine Anakin from head to toe.
But instead of lying again, Anakin, who has been making the strangest noises as they pushed through the wildly lush jungle that covers the planet, groans piteously and stops so suddenly that Obi-Wan almost runs into him.
“Anakin?”
“I’m—kark, don’t make me say it.”
Since Anakin stubbornly refuses to face him, Obi-Wan circles around to find Anakin flushed and sweaty, his lips torn from biting down.
[Obikin] Untitled3: probably still irredeemable but not actually smutty! for @sweet-cynic, a bit of a... TMA-SW fusion AU? (featuring Priest-Wan because we could always use more of that.)
The day Obi-Wan Kenobi stumbles over the bedraggled figure curled up tight at a corner of the stairs leading up to the church is already one of exhaustion and fury drowned in alcohol. He is in no charitable mood, but discovering a small child wedged tight against the stonework in the middle of the night, with the chill of an early winter creeping in, horrifies him into action.
Are they dead? Obi-Wan wonders, leaning down carefully. Wrapped up in misery and in shapeless, grimy garments, the child is nothing but a genderless mop of blond hair and too-pink ears peeking out from the collar of the jacket they’re wearing, some cast off business jacket for an adult repurposed for warmth against the bitterness of October.
He clears his throat. “He—”
Blue eyes snap open.
Too blue, too bright, there’s not enough light that I should be able to see the color.
But Obi-Wan doesn’t pay that thought as much attention as it deserves. “Hello there. That doesn’t seem terribly comfortable."
The poor creature—Obi-Wan still cannot pinpoint a gender, the face dark with dirt—shifts away from him, inching to regain space as if they don’t trust him despite the markers of his office, the collar, the coat, the cross weighing heavy on his chest.
NEXT UP:
airline Obikin shenanigans for @virahaus
even more shenanigans set in bones of a miracle for @gretchenzellerbarnes
A coda for all things unsaid
I'm hoping Untitled2 will be finished today, but we'll see. :) After some of these go up I will finally get back to working on fear the crown and the devil is a gentleman. They're long overdue for updates. (Also have my eye on you should see what we do in my head--definitely want to finish that this month.)
And that concludes the State of Fic! ❤ If I have forgotten anyone or any thing or you have a question about a fic not mentioned, please give me a poke.
leaving soon for the job interview (🤞) and then I will be back to write and catch up on things and thank yous and a lot of things that will turn me into a sniffly mess. (/pos, as the kids say. I think.)
no auroras I could see last night, but fingers crossed for tonight! (and that skies clear up for all the moots who are suffering from Cloudy Sky Injustice.🌩️)
