song ... ! the boyz – priority
it's okay, you don't have to answer
but it doesn't matter
how many people i have
around me
truth is you are my priority
i wanted to tell you
but it was awkward so i asked something else
i'm going to tell you now
changmin is not by any means popular. if anything, he’s quite literally the opposite of that – his bangs are a little long, covering up his eyes, and he hasn’t had a haircut in literal months ( he could easily get one, but he’s decided not to ). he’s tried, multiple times too, to make friends. but it isn’t exactly easy. he smiles a little awkwardly, and his cheeks turn red at the thought of interacting with others.
at the very least though, he’s finally, finally, made a few good friends in high school. assimilating had been hard, but he finds himself fitting in with them quite well. amongst them, is a senior – xie yiran.
yiran is nice. really, he’s sweet and kind, and changmin can pretty much tell that he’s well-liked amongst his peers. he admires him, he really does. and wishes so badly that… he could be just like yiran! he doesn’t hide his admiration for yiran either, following the older boy around like a duckling glued onto it’s mother. and at the very least, yiran’s never seemed to show any form of disappointment by changmin’s constant clinging.
it’s friday, and changmin’s decided that it’s a good time to find yiran after school. what he doesn’t expect though, is to catch him at the back of the school’s building, standing opposite a girl with long black hair, and perfectly manicured nails. they seem to be talking about something, something important – and changmin’s never been one to eavesdrop, so he turns around, ready to leave when he catches what the girl says – i like you yiran! oh.
he blinks, jaw dropping slightly. oh. it’s a… confession! of course. of course yiran would get one of those. confessions! those were normal, weren’t they? they had to be normal for someone like yiran. he needs to leave, something in his brain is telling him to leave almost immediately. but he doesn’t. instead his feet stay planted there.
“i’ve liked you for a long time! please go out with me.”
he swallows what feels like bile in his throat.
“i’m sorry. but as you know, my career is –“
ah… right. changmin smiles to himself, though it feels a little helpless. of course, of course yiran’s career, his future, his grades would always be of the utmost importance to him. for some reason, changmin feels helpless. he tunes out everything else, only realizes that he’s still standing there when he hears yiran’s voice, calling out his name.
shit. he whips his head up, and is met with yiran’s puzzled face. “were you here the whole time?” the older boy asks, “did you… hear what happened?”
“i…” oh no, lie! you need to lie rhee changmin! “i’m sorry! i didn’t mean to. i was just looking for you hyung and then the confession ended up happening – i’m sorry! i should’ve left!” but he’s never been a good liar, especially when yiran is involved. so instead he bows his head in apology. “it won’t happen again!”
he expects a firm scolding, but receives none of that. instead yiran taps him on the shoulder. “where did you want to go?”
he lifts his head, and blinks at the older boy in confusion. huh! “oh… i just wanted to hang out with you… i heard some classmates talking about a new store that opened… and i wanted to join them, but didn’t know how to start a conversation… and i thought you’d like it too!”
somehow, yiran relents. and the both of them end up walking to the store together.
and changmin knows. changmin knows he should keep quiet about the confession that unfolded before his very eyes. but he doesn’t. no, he can’t. “hyung, is building a successful career that important to you? i mean, i know it’s important! but you turned down a really pretty girl.”
“a stable career is important, changmin,” he replies, and changmin had half expected that. “but… maybe if it had been someone else, i would have replied differently.”
“oh?” changmin’s eyes widen, clearly surprised. “seriously hyung? what?” he feels his chest tighten again. so if it had been someone else… yiran might have said yes? “who?” he finds himself asking. “i mean… you would’ve said yes if it were someone else?”
yiran is quiet for a while, before he nods. “yes.”
this is… this is brand new information to changmin. information that feels like it might make his ears bleed. so yiran is… yiran is capable? of those feelings. that’s odd – knowing this feels… odd. “that’s… wow!” changmin forces a smile. “i wonder who it is! that would make say yes,” he adds after a minute. he feels his smile dropping though, but he’s unsure as to why.
yiran doesn’t reply and changmin takes that as a sign to perhaps steer away from this conversation. “oh hyung did you know tha –“
changmin stops in his tracks. he must’ve heard wrong. he must’ve hallucinated. “what?” he says, “did you say me?”
yiran, now a few steps away from changmin, turns to nod at the younger boy. “yes. i did say you.”
changmin feels his cheeks turn red, his whole body heating up. what? what? what?
and then it hits him. yiran must be joking! “oh hyung!” he smiles, and he runs over to his friend, before grabbing his arm. “that’s not a funny joke! you shouldn’t joke like that!” he laughs. “you had me shocked!” though despite his laughter, changmin’s cheeks are still red, his ears a bright shade.
he can’t look at yiran in the eye, and he doesn’t want to. not when he’s like this and he feels his heart pounding in his chest. so it was a joke! of course, it was! yiran’s funny. and changmin needs to remind himself never to expect anything more.
“okay! i’ll stop talking about the confession, i promise! sorry again, for accidentally witnessing it,” he says, eyes still fixated on his own two feet, refusing to look at his friend.
though if he had lifted his eyes, just a little, he would’ve seen the smile on yiran’s face – one that wouldn’t have been able to be passed off as a joke.
