there is a letter left, unfinished
in a wooden box
hand made of cedar
under an oak tree
this isn’t a fantasy
in the city of lost dreams
she was not dreaming.
she took her grief
and made an empire
she took her grief
and made a legacy
she, took her grief and spread awareness
she took her grief and made art
there is now a book left, unfinished
and she does not know
where to start.
Thank you to all the humans who liked and reblogged this poem. After all, the poem is dedicated to you!
aro culture is imagining a perfect date like: you meet up with a guy/gal, go to a café, spend 2 hours by chatting about Star wars or whatever, go home, end of story
So I identify as binary trans (ftm) and simultaneously as a demiboy. Anyways I have really bad dysphoria and want to fully transition to male but I feel like if I do that I still will have dysphoria and would want to be a girl again
I would encourage you to look into HRT and partial transitions. Some effects of HRT are permanent, others temporary, some set in quicker than others, etc., so it’s good to know what changes to expect and if you’re okay with these. But pursuing some sort of partial transition may help you find a happier medium than being unhappy at either end of the spectrum. Starting a partial transition could also help give you a better idea of what level of transition you want to go for.
Also, don’t feel like you just have to sit there wallowing in your dysphoria! There are many mental methods to help cope with and easy dysphoria, such as mediation and CBT. Check out our coping tag for more on this! It is important that we learn how to mentally cope with dysphoria rather than feeling like we have to suffer and be in pain or that we deserve it.
Swap chasing perfectionism for embracing paradoxical thinking.
Do you find yourself using binary thinking and dramatic language — good/bad, black/white or all/nothing comparisons — to describe life's challenges? This habit is a hallmark of the perfectionist who finds refuge in a never-ending pendulum swing between blaming themselves and blaming others...
Over time, this kind of hair-triggered, reactionary plunge into binary thinking takes a toll on the central nervous system. The body's heightened stress response — now activated by an email or a text message or a glance — releases the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline. According to research from Harvard, regular release of these hormones during the fight-or-flight response can take a toll on the body and lead to long-term negative health effects, not to mention compromising our ability to respond creatively and problem solve in the moment.
There is a way out, however: Swap chasing perfectionism for embracing paradoxical thinking.
When we embrace paradox, we move away from this binary into a new way of reacting that allows us to hold two opposite truths at the same time. We move from either/or thinking to a perspective that allows for both/and. This shift allows us to lead at the same time we follow, learn at the same time we teach, achieve success at the same time as we embrace imperfection...
Language is a dead giveaway for binary thinking. Dramatic, urgent language and good/bad binary language — words like "always," "never," "right," "wrong," "terrible," "last" — can often reveal you are trapped in the binary. Work to deescalate your language and find a new more helpful (unexaggerated) frame.
I couldn’t help thinking of Tumblr discourse when I read this, but that may not have been the intended audience. I def encourage reading the whole article and deciding for yourself if you find this kind of thing helpful.
(Although, you could basically call this cognitive dissonance instead of paradoxical thinking, sort of similar concepts, idk.)