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okay i figured it out. my roommate (who i may be interested in maybe kinda) will be henceforth known as "birdroommate"
he really likes birds and talks about them a LOT. or ill just refer to him as "bird", idk. he specifically likes swans, peacocks, and owls.
sorry for being inactive i am unfortunately very busy
updates; bird & his gf broke up. he wont tell me why. because HE broke up with HER, which surprises me to no end because??? they were such a good couple?? whatever,,
genuinely sad that him and his gf broke up but that tiny part of me is constantly saying "you have a chance now" even though. hes like. super straight lol
im doing better, ive had an on-and-off cold for about a week now. the weathers not helping :/ but on the bright side i get to spend more time at home & with bird. so. yeah
anyways. yeah thats me. im just kinda tired all the time and busy. sucks but at least i can come home and secretly gush about two men i dont know 👍
oh also in terms of my love life, i am. confused
because weve gone on "dates" (or what feel like dates. like hanging out one on one), hes touchy-feely (moreso now that hes come out as bi), weve literally slept in the same bed despite the heat (my portable ac stopped working so he said i could be in his room until it got fixed or we got a new one)
i cant. just. if hes not into me then what the hell am i even doing
is he doing this on purpose. why is he wearing my shirts. like he has much lighter shirts but he takes MY shirts. he even took one of my hoodies!!! bro it is Summer. why do you need that!!!!!
its gotten hotter outside and lucas has been wearing shorter shorts and less clothing and its driving me crazy. not because im attracted to him (thats a given) BUT BECAUSE MOST OF THOSE CLOTHES ARE MINE!!!!! BECAUSE IM SKINNIER AND SHORTER!! oh also our air conditioner stopped working so :P thats why. its still somewhat spring here. yet it feels like summer
oh also my crush on bird has evolved into In Love territory. we love bird here. im kinda coependent ngl but hes Reallyyyy touchy& affectionate these past few weeks so. yknow. fuel for my evil and twisted fantasies (kissing and hugging and cuddling him)
update on the whole birdroommate thing;
apparently. he has a crush on someone else, and his ex decided the best thing to do would be to take a break/break up, because either a) he dates that other person instead or b) he gets over his crush and goes back to her
gonna be honest. his ex is the only girl in our friend group. no idea who has a crush on. he kept using "they" when describing his crush. so either a) hes into someone who uses they/them and i dont know them or b) hes into a guy (!) and i might know him
i am NOT getting my hopes up. he treats me the same as he did before this break up, like a best friend, and we have two other roommates who are guys, so. he might like one of them. who knows. he wont tell me. im his best friend. so. yeah
a little doodle of me & bird but like. very very stylized.
i am questioning why he broke up with his ex because hes so secretive about it and if it was something that big why wouldnt he tell me??? i guess maybe im just nosy,,,
