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Make Up - In Mass Mind (1998)

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Cuarteles de Prensa 01. Santiago 2/07/2017

#Cuarteles de Prensa #Dischord #Black Gemini #Gospel #MC5

I think many, if not all, Geminis have that good girl/boy bad girl/boy trait. Obviously it stems from our archetype of duality in one being.

I am the type of Gemini who, like so many others, have this duality, but I never had a way to physically express it, the bad girl part of me.

I grew up in a Black Christian household by a single mother who had received a very raw deal with men, I'm sure you can figure out where I'm going with this. There was no talking back (asking a question, after being told to do something was considered talking back) there was no dating boys, don't even bring up that you liked a pissy tailed boy to my mother, I wouldn't hear the end of it. And there was no patience. My mother worked 2 jobs and went to school, so my sister and I, in essence where latch key kids. However even tho my mother wasn't around, doesn't mean she wasn't watching. That woman had like a network of spies, so even tho she was gone, we never thought to sneak out of the house or anything remotely crazy like that.

So many Geminis I know, or even famous ones that I have read about have had their wild years young, and by wild I mean wild. Angelina Jolie is a prime example. A friend of mine from work she's Pentecostal, (she's also white and from a 2 parent household) was wild in her earlier years, You wouldn't think it now at 25, like myself, but she was a partier, drinker, smoker, it was like she got it all out of her system and now is this calm being that now has understanding of her 2 selves and has peace. Same with Angelina, looking at her now, compared to her Billy Bob years and earlier, she seems to have a comfort with herself and her dual nature of good and bad.

Which I don't think I can say for myself. I grew up in a strict household, and the reigns were even tighter when my mother actually married. My step father wouldn't outright say I couldn't do something, but he manipulated my emotions in a way that made me regret asking and ultimately guilty and frustrated. And it only got worse as I got older and got a small taste of freedom that every Gemini craves when I was in college and stayed on campus. I didn't want to go home and when I asked to move out, I was made to feel incompetent, selfish and ultimately ungrateful.

I feel like my growth as an individual was stunted and I was a very unhappy Gemini, expressing all the negative traits of that sign, I was defensive, and constantly anxious which caused me to lash out by being vindictive, and verbally malicious. And now I feel like I'm behind in my development on understanding my duality. I mean, I don't feel I've ever done enough to make peace with both versions of me. Before I moved out, I was only able to express my bad through my imagination, by writing, reading erotic novels, watching porn, and now that I've finally moved out,everything that I've wanted to try, I know I'm too old to really go deep into. I'm 25 and I'm trying to get my life right before I'm 30.

I do wonder if there are any other Black Geminis that feel the same or have gone through similar situations as I? Or are there any other Geminis that feel this understanding of both halves are important to a Gemini's overall mental and spiritual self or nah?

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