#blackqueerdisabled rambles

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When All the World is Midnight

The best and worst things are forever, and nothing ever lasts. The brain tumor is gone, the damage remains, and I've started to think about my art and writing differently.

In late 2022, an MRI showed I had a brain tumor the size of a jumbo marshmallow smack in the middle of my head. The general consensus was that it had grown there slowly over the past decade—at least. Given certain diagnoses and symptoms I’d received and experienced over the years, this timeline made sense. There are still questions I doubt I’ll get answers to. Did my pituitary gland ever develop…

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What if I don't need anything to show for all this? What if living and learning along the way is enough? And what if the rest comes just at the right time?

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What if--and hear me out--but what if the candles are talking to me? It's the darndest things that remind me to breathe.

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The first two times I submitted this piece to an exhibit, it got rejected. Fitting, that it found its first audience in an exhibit titled "Dreamscape & Belief"--because isn't that all of life?

Presence in Profile

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One of my favorite things from BUTTER was hearing "I AM...ART!" shouted with joy and enthusiasm from students on Education Day. Here's to raising my own voice and joining that chorus.

Buttered Up Bravery

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Butter Five was absolutely everything...and I almost missed it.

I Had to Be There

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My plans for resting this month got derailed by paperwork, and now it's in the hands of The Powers That Be to decide if my life is worth the few hundred dollars of benefits that help me piece together a living. I'm struggling, but not spiraling. May I find the courage to rest.

In All This

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There's a lot I miss, and I lot I'm working towards. Namely, just getting through the day.