#blahblahablah

[emesre]

succulents

[tinybugsy]

i have so many emotions majority of the time and i have no idea what to do with them most of the time sometimes like i draw i think that helps but most of the time im overwhelmed by the flow of like my being especially when i hear like ambient music and it becomes like too much then im like wow sucks to be a materialistic thing

[neopound]

so today in lang we did a jam right on "L"

well the only word i could think of was loser of course

so i wrote how im a loser. how there are different types of losers, and which one i was and how they differ

and i wrote about how im not good at anything but not terrible at everything either, and how everyone is like "youre good at art", no im okay at art, youre just uncultured and havent seen GOOD art. I dont have many friends that i hang out with outside of school and i dont do anything really. For being the reason of sadness, or i cant think of anything, or theres nothing to do or whatever, but still. Nothing.

Then after me and my friend lauren walked out together and she asked wrote abuot and i said told her "loser" and she laughed and was like what like what you write???/ i told her, and basically i had the same conversation i always have whenever i say something like that. When im honest about me and how i am.

"Thats not true youre funny and good at art and your smart if youd try"

yeah okay no youre not me, i make like 1 joke a week and hope it holds over, i suck at art and get lucky every so often, and im not fucking smart im in honors cuz i was a cheating little shit even when i was in kindergarten 

[pokabu]

i'll fix up my theme tomorrow i have tons of tests and quizzes + a presentation i hate school sometimes now bye i have to finish this essay