#blaotchi

[otchippira]

i feel awful to be who i am, what i become. i dont want to be bitter, i dont want to dwell in padt but it seems inevitable. im scared i'll lose everything one day, nothing left to my hands.

[otchippira]

I don't speak lies, or truth. I speak my mind

Let the past be past and forget all that was ugly and maybe was even fun and felt real at times. It's surreal to remember how you had it all and then you ended it. Sometimes things are left forgotten, sometimes the past comes to say hi to you. And you rememver why it ended. And smile. You're the one that won.

[otchippira]

Drink responsibly

So yeh i was drunk but when grandpa came to our cabinet i realized he was drunk more than i. And talked bullshit about things. I hope he never remembers shit about what he talked about. My cousin was scared (shes 12 yrs.) And im trying tp talk to him like to a kid. He finally sleeps (or something like that). So yeh, drink responsibly. And adults only. Or else ur troubling those around you.

[otchippira]

Entrance Exams

I really am a stressfull mess atm. I feel nervous and about to die from streas and ughhhhh Im such a worrywart. It is gonna be fine since I trust myself... Psygology test coming up. Wish me luck Eh?

[otchippira]

hmm.. i want to create mystic creature/ human which would work in this mystic shop which is full of magical stuff and all... but i dont seem to get draw them right.. i cant say names or anything for sure yet. derp

[otchippira]

Can someone just wipe my memory so there wont be Tegs in my life? I rlly am crying now.. 

[otchippira]

hiatus i think

self pity. that’s my problem. but also that’s kinda way to escape everything. i dont think future. i dont want to. I dont do a shit with my life. others move on while im stuck. i create every damn thing. I make them look bigger than they are. and i dont know how to dig myself out of this pit.

I need to look how i can fix myself or look for help. cause this is..this has been going too long and it  turns.. i turn my life into shithole. and it gets deeper.

how do i move on? 

I have no fucking idea.

[otchippira]

CHanGeS NeED To HaPPen!

I dont know really... I want to be better already. I just noticed how much i have missed off from my life. I miss my chances to change. This isn’t how i want to live my life. How I want to live it, is that i want to get a school where i can study art.. all forms of art. I want to get a job where I can use my skills. my Gift of art. I cant fucking wait anymore that someone comes to get me up from pit. Fuck that, I stand up on my own feet. I wont get thin just by sitting and eating sweets. I need to train. train hard. and leave sweets.  I got a weak heart. really. It’s supported with a machine that gives impulses to my heart. My body is in really bad shape. My mind is blank. Im crying now, cause i regret that i never realize things sooner. There might be something wrong with my head too. But im afraid to find out about that. The thing is, Im gonna do work outs. I want to get to live my life at fullest. And I dont really need to be afraid to live. I dont need to be afraid of other people. Im human too. I just need to get that in my head. Im ready to take all crap. Im ready to feel alive. god knows what will come.