#blarn

[balloonpup]

"Yeah, whatever."

"I don't know where you got that and I don't care. Buy something or get out. Actually, buy something and get out."

She can be such a grouch sometimes, but retail will do that to you.

Rumor has it she sold her name one day, so she has to go by whatever nametag she can find out back. She was 'Blarn' yesterday.

By Valyce Negative.

[todd--chavez]

The name she put on her name tag when she worked at Starbucks. 

[todd--chavez]

And I was like, “Ooh! Validation.”

[todd--chavez]

Jessica Biel is voiced by Jessica Biel! tbh didn’t know who she was but apparently is married to Justin Timberlake?

[todd--chavez]

“I put that on my nametag as a dumb joke to subvert the idea of co-opting personal identity to further corporate branding which, as I’m saying it, isn’t much of a joke.”

[todd--chavez]

HOG-en daz

why does he look like he’s already almost dead. he didn’t die until like 9 years later right?

[bawrao]

Life in Starbucks

More time has passed, and I’m still unable to find Blanketguy. The main reason I haven’t found him most likely lies in the fact that I’m yet to leave the Starbucks, mostly because the people at Starbucks informed that they have membership cards and that I can get every tenth drink for free. Why they waited this long to tell me this is beyond me, but what matters is that now, every tenth coffee I have is absolutely free! I’m on my 9th drink now since they gave me the card a couple hours ago, and I’m about to run out of wifi again. I’m gonna go back and get myself a free drink! This is exciting! I’ll be back with news of how it went, dear readers.

I’m on my 11th drink now. The woman working at the counter (I think her name was Blarn) told me that I don’t get a new wifi code if the drink was free. As annoyed as I was by this, I still decided to get another card and save some money. This frustration was amplified when Blarn informed me that I wasn’t allowed another card for at least a week. After telling Blarn that I would take my business elsewhere, the security guard that had been firmly gripping onto my shoulder for the past 17 hours finally loosened his grip on me and instead lifted me up and carried me outside onto the street. The joke’s on them, though. Just wait until they see my Yelp review. I’m just sitting on the pavement outside the store, I’m still getting one bar with which to use to write this post.

Blanketguy, if you’re out there, wherever you are, I want you to know that I’m okay. I’m surviving. I’m going to be okay. I will find you. Wait no heck quick click post the security guard is coming back out for me okay bye guys wish me luck.

-Creebs