Anti glanced over at the man seated beside him, before
his lips parted to speak.”I do love you, you know.” It’s spoken
with such a sincerity that should be impossible for him given
the sentence, but his eyes flick up to watch Archie’s face, and
they hold truth. “I love you for the things everyone wouldn’t
understand.” He reaches closer to caress Archie’s cheek,
before planting a soft kiss onto his jaw. “I love you for loving
me. I love you for the way you still listen even when what I ask
for doesn’t make sense or it hurts you in the long run. I love you
for being a heartbeat, for your trembling and your scars… I love
you for touching me.” Anti’s voice finally quivered, tears edging
in his usually heated eyes to the point that it was almost…
heartbreaking. “H-How did that quote go? I don’t like to be touched,
but it’s a strange dislike. I don’t like to be touched because I crave
it too much. I want to be held very tight so I won’t break.” His voice
cracks on the last word, so he buries his face into Archie’s chest
and holds on tightly. “I love you for letting me hurt you and wanting
to be here…” But I should let you go. Anti doesn’t say the ending
of the sentence. If Anti hadn’t liked Archie in some way, Archie
would have been long since dead, but he kept him and now Anti
doesn’t want to let him free. But sitting there, hearing Archie’s
heartbeat right against his ear… “You don’t deserve this. Don’t
you get that? I’ll take you h-…” He can’t say it. Just one more
word. “You can l… You don’t have to be h… God damn it, I don’t
want you anymore!” It was a lie, but it’s all he can muster, standing
and letting go of his favorite pet. The love of his life. And isn’t that
exceptionally fucked. “Go pack your things. You have things, right?
Yeah, I’ve given you things. Go pack them, I’ll take you back to your
brother.” There’s an ache in his chest and tears are spilling down his
cheeks, scalding him as he tries to think of something to do, maybe
hurt Archie once more? But he can’t. Archie’s had enough and deep
down he really fucking knows it. Deep down, underneath the pleasure
he got from hurting Archie and the hatred towards humanity itself, he
knew Archie had never deserved a single thing Anti did to him. Anti
hated himself for it.