#blessing!reader

[clowndaydreams]

Can you imagine. if on the move-in day of the blessing, they take GHB aside for a moment & just ask 'do you expect me to have sex with all those clowns on that list' & he goes into the whole buckets situation & how it's mandatory & how they'll have very limited time with each clown & all & the blessing blushes at first & then they get pale in the face & he asks what's wrong. & they whisper to him they haven't done the deed for like over a sweep & they think this is gonna be a fucking train-wreck

You were still salt someone you once called your friend who sick a whole caste of clowns on you.

At first you deluded yourself into thinking it wouldn't be that bad.

Then you heard some of the excited chatter about getting to pail with you.

It suddenly became clear that it, in fact, would be that bad.

You've barely even done the deed!!! Let alone the fact done it with aliens. You just wanted to make some friends.

Later on, you decided to take a chance with your main captor of the night.

GHB surprisingly does listen to you as he files away some personal documents.

He does clarify that while the system will be tweaked until they figure out something that works, it shouldn't be a huge deal. Just let him know and he can handle it.

You then let him know the main issue for you.

GHB stares at you. He maybe even blinks a few times before bursting into a fit of hysterical giggles.

He explains that you did have time before you actually had to pail the clowns with heart or spade eyes for you.

The last collection happened a little bit ago, so you had a sweep to get comfortable with them and the idea of pailing a bunch of clowns.

And when you wouldn't shut up about how you are extremely rusty for human sex, much less alien sex. He pauses a little.

Oh yeah, you're an alien. He grunts.

He shrugs and offers to let you mess with him whenever you decided to try.

He never let you live down the face and noise you made in response.

[clowndaydreams]

wildcard prompt! give me the blessing with shukri!

Shukri has a pitch/pale relationship with the blessing. She's a bit against the whole idea of just having a random alien(messiah backed or otherwise) just...being a quad.

Then the blessing sassed her for 'acting all pretentious' about that sentiment.

They go back and forth trying to out sass/fluster each other until someone can't clap back anymore.

Shukri does like the variety from them. She never knows what she'll get with them and it's very exhilarating.

[clowndaydreams]

We know what the blessing's evening routine looks like, but what about their morning? I wonder what it's like to wake up in the highblood's hivehold, getting breakfast, getting ready, saying bye before 'work'. it must be interesting to try to rouse ghb or to be roused by him instead.

They have a very general routine. They both tend to wake up early. The blessing because they aren't nocturnal and GHB because he likes the time to wake up in the morning.

They share a room(for protective reasons). GHB has his own recuperacoon and they have a special made bed for the blessing. Their day starts with one waking up the other. Usually it is GHB. He has learned that he needs to wake you 'gently' as you put it. Before he would just honk loudly and apparently it was 'too scary to wake up to'. He rolled his eyes at you while you were explaining. Now he just shakes you.

You both have an hour to mess around before you have to start getting ready. GHB will remind you of who you're meeting up with and when as you both shower together. You remind him of random tidbits for his appointments as you both dry off. You both gossip about things either of you heard about as you change into your outfits of the day or show each other stupid Grubtube videos you thought the other would like. You both know legit everything about everyone in the caste because of both of your connections. Helps with governing tbh.

You both take turns cooking breakfast for each other. The Clope is a decent cook, even if he doesn't have to.

After that, you both go to your seperate days. Every once in a while there will be a text with a dumb inside joke you both have.

[clowndaydreams]

Ok so you know how thomas jefferson ate a tomato at a dinner party infront of all his guests and everyone was like 'call a doctor, thomas poisoned himself!' You can't tell me that pretty much that exact scenario wouldn't happen at dinner with Ghb and the clardinals while the blessing eats a jalapeño. except. ya'know. troll flavored

I couldn't because it's true. The blessing does crap like this when they(ghb + clardinals) all get on their(the blessing's) nerves.

The first time they pulled that crap they almost caused a panic throughout the ship. They still laugh about it to this day, much to the chagrin of the clowns.

[clowndaydreams]

I would be very interested in your bullet story for playing go fish against the empress for the clownettes!

This ended up way longer than I expected.

Today was the day. GHB had managed to get Condy to visit his hive while she was here on business.

You were nervous to say the least.

You had everything ready. All you needed was to borrow her power to free the clown singers.

You just had to win another game of go fish. Easy peasy.

The Empress sauntered in like she usually did, chatting with GHB as both of their personnel went about their duties.

Her gaze eventually fell on you.

You had planned for this to unfold like it was her idea. You had set up some solitaire and made yourself busy.

"W)(al-E w)(al-E w)(al-E, if it isn't t)(-E ali-En."

You perked up and bowed to her.

"Good evening, Your Highness." You greeted.

You expected her to watch you for a moment before requesting to play go fish again like last time.

She seemed to lose interest and go back to her quad quickly.

Ok, she was playing hard to get.

2 could play at this game!

So you did, playing solitaire for the next few hours, half-listening to Condy and GHB speak amongst themselves.

Eventually the Empress stood up.

"I n-E-Ed to g-Et goin. I hav-E to f-E-Ed Ma b-Efor-E I g-Et back to my s)(ip."

You and GHB shared a panicked look. He pointedly looked at her.

"erm,-"

"w)(at. Did you want som--Et)(ing?" She grinned.

Crap. She knew.

"kurly do-Esn't invit-E m-E ov-Er outta t)(-E blu-E lik-E t)(is. i assum-E you actually want-Ed an audi-Enc-E with m-E." Condy sat back down on the couch.

"So spill it. I s)(ould krill you bot)( for tryin to d-Ec-Eiv-E m-E."

You weren't expecting to be called out like this.

You agreed and sat down at your little table.

You explained that you wanted to make a wager. You needed a favor from her, so if you win, she had to help you.

"And if i win? th-En w)(at?" Her grin became predatory.

Ok, you did have a plan B.

You offered up the idea for a product from your planet. Popular enough, but cost effective.

After a small moment of thought, the game began.

It seemed to be neck and neck, with you both chatting between hands.

"w)(at was it t)(at you want."

You faltered before asking for her 10's. She slid a card over.

You explained vaguely that you needed her help righting a wrong one of her heirs committed.

She stopped for a second to cackle.

"wriggler, pl-Eas-E. w)(at mak-Es you think I hav-E anyfin to do wit)( t)(os-E bottomf-E-Ed-Ers?" She snickered.

Crap.

"i only krill t)(em w)(-En t)(-Ey g-Et annoyin. anybouy coulda told you t)(at. )(and ov-Er your 2's."

You went on to freak out internally for the rest of the game, trying your best to function at the same time.

It was finally at the end.

You were both counting up the suits you both had.

The Empress won by 1.

It was time for Plan C.

You took out the trump card from your back pocket and yelled "UNO REVERSE" before anyone could say anything.

Both GHB and Condy stared at the card in silence. 

“I...I win.”

It was another moment before the Empress started laughing.

“)(A)(! t)(at was glubbin good, ali-En. i’ll give you t)(at.” She snickered, standing up and grabbing her trident. 

GHB prepared himself to fight.

“tell you w)(at. for t)(-E good jok-E, i’ll )(-Ear you out. w)(at did Trizza do t)(is tim-E?”

You gulped and said it wasn’t Trizza.

“feferi actually did som-Efin? i-”

“No...it’s the other heir. Erm, goes by Yinrey?”

“)(im? i )(av-En’t krilled )(im yet?” She furrowed her brow. 

You explain what’s going on and how you would like to free the clownettes he is holding hostage.

Condy giggled and asked an assistant to get her bag. She made a joke about GHB using an alien to get his own agenda fulfilled. 

She leaves with a simple “i’ll t)(ink about it.” 

[clowndaydreams]

GHB comes back from getting some snacks and sees blessing curled up on the loungeplank like the sweetest of smol lusci and his pumper squeezes a little harder because he's so fuckin pale for them

It almost hurts to see them being the very definition of adorable all the freaking time. He takes a quick pic with his phone before beaning you with the chips you demanded.

[clowndaydreams]

I think over time the blessing would learn that the best way to make a clown stop clowning on you (read: teasing) is to clown on yourself. like say they're the inexperienced one from that one ask & a clown's all like 'wait didn't you see a dude naked in that one art class you took' in their clowning tone. & instead of balking they lean into it like 'man what'd you think i was gonna do? i was drawing dick for a grade! i got an A in shlong accuracy. model didn't come back after that.' cue laughs!!

Yes, after managing to fully settle into the arrangement they would.

They'd be a Roasting Prodigy.

[clowndaydreams]

how do you think tyzias and stelsa would react to the whole blessing situation? what if they didn't wholly learn the deets for a long ass time while out blessing was. ya know. right there. because of the whole church secrecy always-with-a-clown thing

It was while you were grubsitting the clownlets. It had been a while since you hung out with anyone that wasn't a clown

And you had to do ALOT of bargaining with the others for them to let you technically out of their sight for a few hours.

All 3 of you were catching up while the clownlets had decided to practice some tricks off of your old home/hideout/watchtower.

Stelsa was acting like more of their grubsitter than you were, fretting here and there about them not hurting themselves.

Tyzias made a few jokes about her not needing clown blood on her hands when she was already a rebel.

It was chill.

And then you messed up.

Tyzias was asking about one of your new clown friends and how she hasn't seen you wandering around like you used to.

You forgot where you were due to the relief of seeing 2 of your favorite legislacerators and started going on and on about how Chahut was gonna end up killing you one of these days with how much she was jumping around on the quad grid.

Tyzias, being the good friend that she was, offered to help hide you if you decided to break up with her and lay low.

"Heh, I wish it were that easy. I'd probably have broken up with all of them by now if it wasn't for the whole 'captive' thing, am I right?"

Your small chuckle was met with a furrowed brow and concerned sip of water.

"I'M SORRY, WHAT." Stelsa also chimed in.

To your credit, you did try to hide it and backtrack.

But they were both trained to needle stuff like this out of their targets.

As you struggled to come up with a decent lie, they piled more and more evidence on that disproved it.

Stelsa even pointed out how it made sense that they only ever really saw you with clowns anymore. Never that rainbow of friends you had before.

So you had to tell them.

Stelsa was more freaked out than Tyzias, fretting/worrying over them being rough or just outright abusing you for fun

Tyzias hid her concern better, inquiring more and more about how the logistics even work? Were they being monitored right now?

You explained you managed to bargain your way into this meeting and that they did put a tracker grub on you. Though you wouldn't be surprised if there were some of your diamonds in the area, "just in case" as they would put it.

Both interrogate you about escaping, and you refuse, telling them that the caste knows who they are(part of their conditions) and that you were fine.

If anything you had a whole bunch of influence now. You could go a long way in getting more of the clowns to convert to a not-as-murdery-sect. You were making good progress already!

You also offered to maybe start planting seeds of rebellion within the community with Tyzias' help.

It was a hard pill to swallow for both them, finding out their alien buddy became something of a quad-slave to highbloods.

But, they're at least able to let it go...for now.