Blitz Brigade | More Like Aim-Bot Brigade
I'm a man with few loves in this world. Doritos chips, Windows, very low idle temps, and first person shooters. When I was on the search for a good one for mobile that also happens to be on PC so I can pick right back up where I left off, my search led me to Blitz Brigade. Now, this game takes place in a cartoony, Team Fortress 2 style world where you need to pick a name so you can sta- oh nope, hold on it's crashed. Alright now you need to pick your name. Taken. Taken. Error 1-success. Error 1-success. Error 1-success.
THERE it is, now you're on the home screen; and oh nope it crashed again. Alright so you tap play.. Three times too many.. Great! Searching for server and sitting in this loading screen. Now pick the empty side and they're both empty, tap through TWO MORE MENU'S, then you're in the ga — OH! And you notice something else as well. The game, even in the menus is very choppy.
"Disconnected from server due to bad connection – 310000000"
You know what this means? This means go try it on the desktop. Great so you sit down in your walmart chair that you got on sale because it was on sale and how could you not get something that was on sale?
You go to the store, download all 600 megabytes of the game, get in and find that there's more Error 1-success in this game than there is gameplay. But there's a fix for the Error 1-success —
Disconnect from your Wi-Fi network and reconnect.
So you get into your menus and repeat the whole process of getting into the game, but when you get to the part where you select your character, it actually works this time. Maybe. If it does, great. Then you're in the game but, it feels weird. It looks; weird. It's still got the touch-screen controls, regardless if you have selected keyboard or not, strafing breaks aiming, aiming breaks strafing; can't remap controls, you can't look up without the FPS dropping, and the FPS is an issue in itself! My laptop is pretty powerful, handling GTA, Crysis 3, Far Cry 4, and Minesweeper just fine at 60 Fps or right near it. This game runs at 20 FPS, on the Nvidia GPU, the Intel GPU, my Phone, maybe if I harnessed the power of my sun, then it would run better? Changing the only video setting to ‘Performance’ from ‘optimal’ only seems to give a few FPS increase.
The guns run out of ammo too fast and there's an auto lock on that DOESN'T EVEN WORK. The aiming is abysmal, on Mobile and even on PC. You have people from mobile who can't aim because they can't aim and move the camera or the character and shoot all at the same time. PC players end up dominating them. And there's nothing you can do about it!
You’re probably thinking about the game modes, right? Well, there’s: Quickplay, Domination, Death Match and Flag Capture. Which are exactly like you’d expect, but the rounds are shorter, it’ll disconnect you LONG before you even get to finish, others will do nothing and it even crashed on me trying to load into “Domination” several times.
Now, to sum it up, don't play this. Don't go to the page. Just forget about it because Gameloft doesn't care about it, and neither should you. The game itself can't run without crashing every few minutes, or disconnecting, or if you're on mobile, going to a white screen with the navigation buttons, forcing you to restart.
The game is available for free with in app purchases in the Windows Mobile Store and Windows Store (if you are brave enough to want to download it).