#blortch and shloop

[superman86to99]

Superman #94 (November 1994)

"Peer Pressure," clima-- I mean, "DEAD AGAIN!," part 2! This is a weird issue because it's more about Superman fighting Conduit (the antagonist of the supposedly concluded "Peer Pressure" storyline) than dealing with the mysterious Superman-shaped corpse that was found in his former tomb (the whole point of "DEAD AGAIN!"), but who cares what the banner on the cover says when we get another classic Jurgens/Breeding slugfest issue?! Me. I do. But I'll survive.

In Man of Steel #38, Conduit springs himself out of jail (well, S.T.A.R. Labs) and Superman puts the whole "worrying about his corpse doppelganger" thing on hold to go recapture him. The fight wasn't going too well for Superman when we last saw him, what with Conduit being able to shoot kryptonite blasts and all, but it looks like being drawn by Jurgens/Breeding has revitalized him.

However, those kryptonite blasts did weaken Superman, which is why that knuckle sandwich up there only made Conduit fall back instead of sending his head flying all the way to Gotham. Realizing this, Conduit is able to wrap Superman up in those cables of his with little resistance, which means Clark will now have to rely on his intelligence to get out of this one. His brilliant plan? Getting the cables caught up on a passing train, which comically sends Kenny flying away as they unravel.

This gives Superman time to regroup and hit Conduit with "guerilla tactics" (as in, hiding to ambush him, not raiding his supply centers with child soldiers). He also figures out he can just cut off Conduit's cables by spinning a metal rod as they're coming to grab him, which is apparently quite painful because "those cables are a part of [him]!" Ouch. Also, eww.

That still leaves Conduit's kryptonite blasts, but Superman takes care of those doing something he probably should have done issues ago: covering Conduit in lead, a.k.a. kryptonite's kryptonite.

(If you ever wondered if the sound of lead melting is "BLORTCH" or "SHLOOP," now you know: it's both.)

Unfortunately, Superman gets a little carried away now that he can finally land a decent blow on Conduit and sends him flying against those train tracks from earlier. While Superman saves a train full of people from Superman's carelessness, Conduit escapes, saying he's got a job to finish. Meaning: kill Clark Kent.

As you might have guessed, Clark isn't home right now, but Lois Lane is, and she's got a visitor. Remember that phone call Superman made before flying off to fight Conduit last issue? Turns out he invited Mr. Braverman, Conduit's dad, to visit him in Metropolis (via supersonic jet, apparently, since he's already there). I guess Superman expected Kenny to melt down and repent upon seeing his dad, but he just gets angrier and decides to kill him too. Plus Lois, while at it.

Superman comes home right in time to prevent that. Conduit doesn't even fight him this time, since he's powerless without his krypto-stench, but he promises Superman that one day he'll uncover his secrets, whatever they might be. By the end of "Peer Pressure," Conduit hated Superman as much as Clark Kent. Now he seems to hate him more. (And no, it still hasn't occurred to him that both of the dudes he obsessively hates have the exact same face. That vibrating face trick must work really well, even up close.)

Superman leaves Conduit back in S.T.A.R., and this time, they promise they won't let him get free! Probably! While he's at S.T.A.R., Superman remembers what this storyline is supposed to be about and decides to visit Professor Hamilton -- right at the very moment that he finishes analyzing that Superman corpse and proves "conclusively" that it's "definitely the real Superman." Say whaaaaaa

TO BE CONTINUED!

Plotline-Watch:

A scientist at S.T.A.R. tells Superman that they've called a "specialist by the name of Draper" to build a better jail for Conduit. A master jail, you might say. (If you don't know WTF I'm talking about, you'll find out next issue.)

Mr. Braverman gets off pretty easily in this issue. Dude bullied a kid into insanity! And he's still going "Boy, that Clark Kent is so swell, unlike my garbage son!" while Kenny is within earshot. I had vague memories of him wondering how Kenny turned out like that and Clark going "How do you THINK?" but I guess that must have been some other awful supervillain parent.

I don't know if this was intended, but I like to think that Kenny was able to see through Clark's "bravado" (pretending he wasn't weakened by the kryptonite) because he grew up competing against him, even if he didn't consciously realize that's who he was fighting. He's gotta know all of Clark's tells and such. That's the main thing that sets Conduit apart from other Superman villains, more so than the radiation or the creepy metal appendages.

Is that Mitch, the no-longer-Superman-hating teen from "Death of Superman," in the train that Superman endangers/saves? Probably not, but I'm gonna tag this post "Mitch" anyway.

It's a nice touch that Corpse Superman wears a lighter shade of blue, like Superman did before "Death of Superman," as opposed to the darker shade we've seen during the last couple of years. This must mean he's definitely the real Superman, 100%, no cheap cop outs!

Shout Outs-Watch:

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And now: it's Don Sparrow time!

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):

The Man of Steel toyline was still a year away when this issue came out, but it absolutely reads like a commercial for it, as Jurgens and Breeding pull out all the stops to give Conduit a push.  And right from the cover, it mostly works, as it’s just a great, minimalist design.  We get a little of that tie-dye wave background we saw in the Doomsday: Hunter/Prey storyline as backdrop, but lots of Kirby dots and kinetic energy to go around on this monochromatic cover.

Inside, we’re greeted with an even cooler image of a raging Superman crawling out of rubble, making us grateful for the reunion of Jurgens and Breeding (Rubinstein was Jurgens’ regular inker at this time, and while he’s an amazing talent, too, the slickness and weight of Breedings’ lines on Jurgens’ stuff just feels right). 

Immediately after that we get a double page splash of Superman both axe-handling and heat-visioning Conduit, and it’s another pleasure to look at, complete with Will Eisner-like working of the titles and credits into the image in the bricks and rubble below.

I always love Jurgens’ signature tall and thin panels, and the one of his concentrated face, with the glow of Kryptonite radiation creating a shadow is particularly good.   A couple of pages later, there’s a great, bright panel of Superman in thought, where even the Tarzan haircut looks kinda cool. [Max: Well, yeah, because it ALWAYS looks cool!]

Jurgens always draws a great Lois, and so her earthtone dress and overcoat look earns a mention here.  As Max pointed out, I also like the subtle use of colour, where the more baby blue shade of dead Superman’s uniform contrasts with the deeper version of this era.

We have another great, tall skinny panel of Superman soaring as he taunts Kenny, and his expression a few pages later as he realizes Lois is in danger is t-shirt worthy.

SPEEDING BULLETS:

So, what is Conduit’s invulnerability level?  We can assume that Superman isn’t at a hundred percent due to being weakened by the Kryptonite attacks from Conduit, so maybe Superman isn’t hitting his absolute hardest (as he mentions), but he still really knocks the crap out of Conduit, who, though cable and Kryptonite powered, remains a human being.  But he seems to shake most of Superman’s blows off without much effect.

I don’t credit the letterers enough on this blog, but this issue has a lot of great work in that regard, from the “Krammm!” as Superman pounds Conduit’s armour, to the whispery “shoop, swoop, shup” sounds of Conduit’s cables in motion, there’s a lot to highlight. [Max: Don't forget the "BLORTCH" and the "SHLOOP".]

It was probably unwise for Superman to use a commuter train full of innocent people in the middle of a heated battle, but I do like that he’s using some strategy and his surroundings to fight Conduit.  Using his environment around him does help with the plausibility of what should be a pretty uneven fight.

Why is Jimmy still hanging around the lab with Superman’s dead body?  Shouldn’t he be in a labcoat or something?

We also have another weird Jimmy tee. Taking a break from the Spin Doctors references, as far as I can tell Jimmy’s shirt just says “The Blues”.  Which is up there with Ron Troupe’s JAM shirt for worst outfit material. [Max: I kinda assumed there was a band called The Blues back then (there WAS one called The Jam), but if so they don't have a very search engine-friendly name.]

It’s interesting that Superman acting cocky and overconfident causes Conduit to make mistakes—I’m sure teenage Clark was always “aw shucks” polite, which would make him even more infuriating—when you’re that type of insecure guy, there’s nothing more hateful than someone who’s hard to hate.

Again, Max beats me to the punch--that really does look like Mitch on that Lextram train, but it would be strange to have him in the comic, and remain silent.  He’s usually making Outbursts of some kind. [Max: I see what you did there.]

Kenny’s references (Clark not having the “stones” to face him, Kenny’s father “brownnosing” Kent) are a little coarser than we’re used to seeing in a mainstream code book, but then again, he is a villain.

I do appreciate that Kenny’s father is at least a little douchey, even in the brief time we see him, mansplaining to Lois (who just watched her apartment window get destroyed) that her concern is, and I quote “nonsense!” and that he’s in no danger. By the time the story was over, even I was tired of hearing how great Clark Kent is! But it was thoughtful of him to try to match Lois’ ensemble so closely. 

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