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Straight overhead, the stars were a sequin shawl flung over blue-black.
quote from Dune by Frank Herbert
everything's getting more and more blue-black and i'm really scared that one day the black will consume me.
here’s the thing about blue-black days: there’s a lot of them. there will be a lot of them. sometimes it even feels like there are more blue-black than pink-yellow ones, but trust me my lovely fren, that is not the case.
life comes in waves. there are good waves and there are bad waves and they come off and on. you are experiencing a bad wave. it sucks. it really freaking sucks. but the only thing you can do when you’re amidst a bad wave is wait for it to crest, and then fight it while it does. always fight it. even when the water slips through your fingers and it feels like all is helpless, fight it. there is a good wave soon to come and i want you to be alive for it |-/
20 March 2017
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sisters
i know but i'm so fucking sick and tired of having so many of these blue black days. it's over and over and over and over that they happen and i feel so so weak. using the analogy with the waves, i'm clinging to a rock and the waves won't stop crashing against me. i'm losing grip on this rock and one day i'll fall into the ocean and i'll drown. and i really don't care at this point. i want it to be over.
i know, love. it’s so hard and it feels so hopeless. you just have to know that it’s not though. it’s not hopeless. we’re all here to make sure you don’t drown. we would never let that happen. think of us as your own personal life floats. we’ll get you to those calm waters with the soft pink sunrises. they might feel unreachable with all the blue-black, but things will be okay. you will be okay. and no matter how hopeless it feels, i promise:
it is worth it to keep swimming.