Isn't it crazy that the lyrics "I'm like a cashew inside a lollipop, just keep sucking til you get to the nut" and "the global network of capital essentially functions to separate the worker from the means of production" are written by the same man?
Summary: Bo is being interviewed when he sees another guy bothering you. Though you handle it, he still wants to prove to you that no one else can have you.
Warnings: My most graphic smut so MINORS DNI. TW: inappropriate sexual misconduct in the workplace. oral sex f receiving. penetrative unprotected sex. maybe a little on the breeding side. possessive bo
A/N: As I said, my most graphic fic, so be warned. I have other bo content that doesn't get as detailed (though still very descriptive), and they can be found here. Comment, like, share, yadada, you all know the drill.
Thank you to the two requests that inspired this piece! They are linked here and here if you're curious.
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Behind the glass of the recording room, you leaned back as Bo worked his boyish charm as the interviewer continued to ask question after question. It wasn't often that you were able to join Bo, especially since you were doing a lot to provide for yourself with our own career (it was that ambition that drew him to you in the first place). When your schedule allowed you to join him for a press day, you couldn't help but jump on top of him and give him the biggest hug you could muster. Meetings with Netflix, a few magazines and a nice lunch in LA, you were now enjoying the way he lit up talking about the work he does for this radio show.
You leaned back in the office chair, leg crossed over the other, with your foot bouncing. You arms were perched on the sides of the chair, showing off you black blouse and blue jeans that matched him. Your hair was half up and half down, casual, but still nice. Bo never got tired of how you looked so good all the time: when you wake up next to him, when you come home from work after a long day, or being sick in the bathroom while he holds your hair back. He also loved that you made an effort to match, down to the high tops you wore.
"Yeah no, I love making my own content, because who the fuck else is gonna understand what I go through? So I throw the comedy back in their faces, trying to get them to see the tru-what? Oh shit, I can't say fuck? OR SHIT??" Bo eyes widen and he collapses back into his chair, hands gripping his hair. "Jesus christ, I wish I had known before, I'm sooo so sorry, can we keep going?"
You laugh, as the interviewer explains that anything more than two fucks will make the show R-rated, so he needs to watch it. As you smile, making eye contact for a brief second, the door behind you opens and man is standing next to you, leaning against the tabel as he stares at your boyfriend.
"Is this that fucking comedian from like, 2010 or some shit?"
You uncross your legs and spin to face this asshat face on. "What did you just say about him?"
The man's eyebrow quirks up, raking his eyes over you with a smirk. "Oh, I'm sorry, are you a fan? I didn't mean to offend you; I just thought someone as pretty as you would have better taste than a washup musici-"
You launch out of your seat and plant yourself between the man and the window.
"Already, I don't know who the fuck you think you are, but you have a lot of your information. Maybe do some research on the people who are going to be working with you" you say, jabbing a finger into the man's chest, pushing him slightly as you sit back down, softly letting out a string of insults under your breath.
The man looks surprised, and also impressed. You glance at Bo, whose brow was furrowed.
Shit, he must have seen that. You think to yourself.
You give him a thumbs up and a big smile as he looks back at the interviewer, continuing on. Your cheesy grin drops and your arms cross as the man leans back against the desk to stare at you once more.
"Usually, I'm not into a woman who is so in control-"
"How surprising," you interject, rolling your eyes.
"Aha. But, your bossiness is highly attractive..."
He leans forward, eyes landing on the open buttons of your shirt before coming back up to your face.
You scoff, "As appealing as it is to lie and say I'm single and simple don't want to go out with you, I actually have a boyfriend I love and isn't a dick, so I won't be leaving him anytime soon."
With that, you roll away from him to look at Bo. He is laughing, slapping his leg and running his hands through his hair. You could tell he was probably reaching his limit, and move to the intercom connected to the earpieces he and the interviewer had. As you press the button, the douchebag in a suit leans over your shoulder, brushing the hair off your neck and leaning down to your ear to whisper "but could he fuck you like I could?"
Your finger flies off the button as Bo's jaw drops at the words filling his head. Before he can even get out of his seat, you are grabbing the man by his lapels and pushing him against the nearest wall.
"Listen, you little bitch-ass, sexist, predatory fuck," you reach down and grab the man by the crotch, twisting his balls and dick in your fist, "first, you're gonna apologize to me. Second, my boyfriend just saw all of that, so you get to deal with that and apologize to him as well. Then, you're gonna go tell your manager that I want to speak to her, and if you even attempt to twist (as you squeeze him tighter) the truth, remember the two other witnesses who heard what you said."
The mans face was beet red as sweat dripped down his temple. He was barely breathing, afraid to move. "Answer me, fucker!"
"Yes! Yes!" he cries, a single tear falling from his eye.
"Good!" you say cheerfully, letting go of the man's junk. Just as he tries to scurry away, you grab his arm and say "by the way, it's kinda small, you might need some kind of enhancer because I wasn't impressed at all."
The man looks like he might explode, but rather than risk castration, he practically runs out the door.
"Uhh, do you think she's got it" you hear a voice say over the speaker.
You eyes widen as you realize the mic was on the entire. time.
Bo raises his eyebrows, a clear code for "da fuck babe?"
"Yeah. She's got it. Are we done here?"
--
When Bo exited the booth, you were sitting with your face in your hands, embarrassed by the altercation that everyone just heard and saw.
"Hey Dick Crusher," he mocks, coming to pull you up.
"Noooo, please don't say that Bo," you whine, standing up, allowing him to wrap his arms around you and deliver a bear hug.
"Oh no, that is never going away. That was incredible. Did you get that from Deadpool?"
You pull away to look up at him and reply, "how did you know?"
"Because every guy in the movie theatre collectively groaned at just the idea of being manhandled that way," he said with a shudder, turning to put his arm around you as you both exited the room.
"You're not mad?"
Bo stops and turns to you, surprise etched on his face. "W-why would I be mad at you babe? It's not like you enabled him. He was eye-fucking you the minute he walked in the room."
You look down, reaching to button your top to cover your chest a little more.
"Hey, babe, you don't have to do that. He just needs to learn to noT BE A PERV!" Bo yells down the hall. You laugh, wrapping your arm around his waist as you leave the building.
---
You get back to your place after a ride that consisted of talking about how weird the recording booth smelled and that they guy wanted to interview after that 'horrifying and impressive' tiff.
When you get inside, Bo goes in to put down your purse and keys on the table as you pull off your shoes by the door. Leaned over, your hair falls to the side and your shirt gapes away slightly, allowing your boyfriend to see the soft slopes of your breast. As you go to stand up, Bo stalks towards you, trapping you between him and the door.
"Uuhh, hi?" you say nervously. You still got butterflies around him, even after knowing him for so long.
Bo reaches up to your top, unbuttoning your top one slowly, pulling it away from your chest as he goes to the next one. Instead of undoing the button though, he drops his hands down to your ass, patting you gently before lifting you up the door. You are now level with him as he goes back to your buttons. His breath is warm against your neck, much more comforting than that creep could have ever been.
"Are you thinking about the way he breathed on you?"
The hairs on your neck stood up as he read your mind, moving to the third button now.
"Hm? You want to answer that?"
You breath out softly, wrapping your fingers in his hair as you reply, "nothing feels like you Bo. Only you can make me feel good..." you whisper, leaning your head back against the door as he continues to ghost over your neck. He has finished unbuttoning you and was pulling the top away to reveal your bra and abdomen.
"You got that right." He plants a wet kiss on the crook of your neck, causing you to gasp loudly. "You're fucking mine."
You pull him by the hair so that you can see his eyes as you say the next two words: "Prove it."
The next thing you know, you're being thrown on the bed as he attacks your mouth, tongues battling for dominance. His knee is between your legs as you grind against him, trying to find relief in the friction he granted you. He moved from your lips to your jaw, under your neck to your collarbone. He is marking each place his mouth lands, littering hickeys and love bites like it was the only way to claim you.
You moan, arching your back into his mouth, giving him the opportunity to slip his hands underneath you and unclasping your bra. Once it is thrown somewhere in the room, he attacks your breast, assaulting your nipple with his tongue while his hand squeezes your ass.
"He fucking stared at my tiddies," he mumbles into your chest, causing you to laugh. He pulls off of you and stares with concern and annoyance.
"Uh, I'm pretty sure they were my tiddies," you smirk, shimming your chest in his face.
"Nope. Your tiddies are my tiddies." He bites your nipple softly, causing you to cry out as the throbbing between your legs increased.
"God, Bo, I''m yours, I'm all yoouurrs..." you groan, running your hands through your own hair, pushing it out of your face.
Bo continues to make his way down your body, reaching your jeans with frustration. He sits up and unzips your pants before shimming you out of them, panties and all. Before he goes down, he removes his shirt and pants, giving you the chance to admire the man that you loved.
"And all of that is mine," you growl.
"That's fucking right," he says before diving between your legs. The time to tease is gone, all he wants is for you to be in tears over what he can do to you.
You're breathing is shallow as he runs his tongue through your folds over and over, the wet friction on your clit driving you crazy. One hand in his hair, the other gripping your breast, you feel yourself reaching the a high.
You're arching into his mouth before you can finish your sentence, his arm holding you in place as you ride out your high...on his face.
As you try to catch your breath, Bo sits up, revealing his painfully hard and dripping cock.
"I'm gonna take that fucking pussy and remind you of why it's mine," he mutters, almost more to himself than you. He wasn't the jealous type, but the way that guy had tried to manhandle you in front of him? It pissed him the fuck off.
He pumped himself a few more times before lining up at your entrance. You prop yourself up on your elbows to look at him and you, just barely connecting.
"Show me Bo. Make me yours."
That statement was all the encouragement Bo needed as he slid into you, taking his time to really stretch you out. He was big, and you were filled by his cock, in ways you had never been before. You could feel him in your stomach if you pressed your hand bellow your naval.
The feeling made you weak and your elbows gave as you collapsed against the bed.
"Always so tight for me. So wet. And it's all for me, no one else," Bo whispers, beginning to slowly rock his hips as he moves inside of you. Your body reacts, contracting around him, causing to twitch.
"Hey, I won't last if you squeeze me like that," he pants, already feeling like he could paint your inner walls with his load.
You pull his face down to yours, kissing him gently before stating: "show me what no one else can do."
Bo's hips snap into to you, causing a sharp gasp to escape you. He continues to rail you into the mattress, barely able to completely sheath himself inside of you because of his size. You moan as you reach behind you to grip a pillow, pulling it over your face as you take him with each thrust. You finally throw the pillow and open your eyes to see him holding your thighs as he slams into you relentlessly.
The site of that alone would have made you cum had it not been for the fact that he just so happened to slide his hand down to your already sensitive bud and tweak it in circles. You cry out, tears filling your eyes at the stimulation.
"Bo, I need you to come inside me, please, make me yours baby, I need your cum inside me..."
Bo's eyes roll into the back of his head but he returns his focus to watching your face scrunch at the beginning of your climax.
"Cum for me baby, I'll cum inside you, just squeeze my co-oh, yes, just like that baby, fuck"
You let out a short scream before biting your wrist, your head pulling back as you cream his dick, pulsating and throbbing around him as he spills into you, warm and sticky as he fills you.
"You're mine Y/n. All mine baby," he grunts, bucking into you a few more times as he rides out his high.
---
Both showered and clean, you were cuddled in bed together, your legs in his lap as he rubbed your feet and you played with his hair at the nape of his neck.
"So he was really trying to diss me like that? Why would they invite me if they don't fucking like me?"
You laugh, shaking your head as you reply, "I know, right? It was awful, and who treats a guest like that? Such a creep."
"Hey."
"hey."
"Thanks for standing up for me."
"I love you Bo."
"I love you more, Y/N."
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A/N: Now this, this was my most graphic fic yet, jesus. I hope you enjoyed- feel free to send in some more requests or suggestions. I like the feedback and reading your comments and reblogs! Bo Burnham masterlist and TAGLIST linked here.
Lots of love and don't forget to pee, wash your hands and clean your toys.
why did bo have to make Bezos I such an fucking jam im literally never gonna be able to hear 'jeff bezos' in any context without immediately thinking 🎵ceo entrepreneur🎶🎵born in 1964🎶
I had a dream where I was with this dude and his brothers in their house and I told this dude that he was into pain because he had flirted with me while I held a shovel to his throat earlier in the dream and asked if he was okay mentally and his brothers laughed but then I saw he and his brothers were watching a cartoon made by Bo Burnham and then I asked all of them if they were okay mentally.
