Discover Top Posts Tagged with #boatonfire rambles

Today’s mood is: tv screen white noise

#its SAD time again lads #wake up in the dark go home in the dark #humans are social creatures and i’m doing it wrong #boatonfire rambles #boatonfire rants

The more we age the more we grow into ourselves.

I just can’t help wonder which self I’m growing into.

And what all my other selves are like.

#is there a self who grew up to be an astronaut?#i bet that self is really cool #maybe there’s a self out there wondering what the doctor self is like #i hope i live up to their dreams #boatonfire rambles

It’s the 20s in a month and a half and I for one am ready for the dark flapper parties

#gotta keep up with the twenty-teens aesthetic #something old something new something borrowed and some nihilism #boatonfire rambles

Being asked “Are you afraid of men” and being told to “smile more because you look better when you do” by a man in the same sentence is such painful whiplash.

Nothing sends me from 0 to 60 in annoyance faster, all while trying to keep a pleasant smile on my face and not let my discomfort or anger show.

#boatonfire rants #boatonfire rambles #listen i’m still upset #it was days ago #that and his other comments #did he mean well? i’m sure #did he realize how patronizing he was being? probably not #are you afraid of men?#you know what? in an existential my identities as a human being in this world and political climate? yes #i’m so tired y’all #and so done

I finger gun on instinct now. It’s really bad. The dorkiness levels are increasing.

#boatonfire rants #boatonfire rambles

I remember the good old days where my foot didn’t betray me on a whim.

Man, do I miss walking.

#boatonfire rants #boatonfire rambles

A dream I had

I rub my forehead, frown set in place on my brows as I struggle with the work before me. I can feel him glancing in my direction, and I will myself not to break my focus as he shifts, standing up from his position on the hotel bed.

In the corner of the room by the desk, our leader sits, aware but purposefully ignoring us. A small smile slips onto her face as she continues writing in her planner.

He slides into the chair next to me, grabbing a handful of papers from the stack in front of me.

“Here, let me help”

My grin is thankful. His smile is kind. He gives me a friendly nudge as I breathe my thanks and turn back to the work. My arm radiates warmth from his touch.

A few minutes later, the work is done. We pile the paperwork back in the briefcase from which it came. We stand side by side, relieved, as we glance over the now cleared table - our work was done for the night and we were finally ready for our competition in the morning.

A thought runs fleetingly through my head and I act on it without second guessing myself. I nudge him with my shoulder, leaning into him for a good few seconds before moving away.

He laughs, a bit startled, a bit bewildered, but thrilled. It’s not often that I initiate physical contact.

“What was that?”

I shoot a quick glance in his direction, smiling sheepishly as I glance away. His smile is warm, as always, and his eyes are teasing.

“I’m bad with affection”

“Oh. Well then”

He wraps a warm arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I look up, flustered but amused as I turn to face him. I lean into him, just a bit closer and pause. Our leader is here. No matter how much she decides to ignore us, the embarrassment of being seen is too much for me to handle.

I pull away. He understands, eyes flicking to our leader before turning back to me, disappointed.

I miss his warmth.

#boatonfire rambles #had to write it down before i lost it #‘i’m bad at affection’#my brain pulling no punches #cute dream though

That instant moment of dread when someone’s ringtone goes off and it’s the same ringtone you use as your alarm in the morning.

#boatonfire rambles #boatonfire rants