alex rediscovering his stims 🥺 ? (if u saw this in the wrong blog inbox no u didn't) 🤫
Another fic I've had written literally for 2 years at this point and just forgot to post!!
It was Alex's first time working under Derek since they had started to foster him a month before, and it was...... awkward....
For example they were in a room, just the two of them, looking at the CTs of a patient Derek was fairly certain they would end up operating on.
Alex was sitting on an office chair while Derek double and triple checked the scan, and Alex was spinning - not in full circles just from left to right 90 degrees each way.
The thing was it didn’t seem like Alex was bored, when Alex was bored he made it everyones problem, Derek had known that since Bailey had ranted to him about it after Alex’s first week as an intern, Meredith and Bailey both sharing his group… Meredith had told him too, of course, but she already had a suspicion that he was a little so she had bigger things to be worried about.
“Is that IIH?”
That was it then, Alex definitely wasn't bored he was just... restless? Impatient to get out of there maybe? Derek wasn't sure.... maybe it was just a side effect of his classification, or maybe he needed to drop later.
"That's what I'm thinking," Derek answered. "Are you okay?"
"Huh?"
"You're spinning in your chair," Alex immediately stopped and Derek felt a little bad at it, even if it was important to address for various reasons, "If you need to drop then you know that you have to tell me."
"I'm fine." Alex's voice was solid as concrete.
"Alexander-"
"I'm fine, Doctor Shepherd, I was just turning in my chair, I won't do it again, jeez."
"That's not why I was bringing it up," Derek sighed, "I was just..." he shook his head, "I had to check, it's my job as your foster parent and as the head of neurosurgery."
Alex didn't say anything, he was completely still, and sitting stiffly in his seat, as though any movement would have Derek forcibly making him drop and putting him in daycare.
Derek looked him over while Alex didn't make any eye contact with him at all: he wasn't any smaller, he wasn't acting younger, other than the spinning in the chair.
Derek would keep an eye on him.
So instead, he continued, "What are the risk factors surrounding idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension?"
Alex didn't hesitate, "Women of childbearing age, especially those who are overweight, which our patient is."
"Correct. How should we go about treating it?"
"A shunt or a stent- or an optic nerve sheth fenestration, which is really cool, is she gonna need-"
"-It's cool, but what are the possible complications of ONSF?"
"She could have temporary or permanent double vision- diplopia, or less frequently issues surrounding the various parts of the eye."
"And if the cons outweigh the pros of every type of surgery?"
Alex frowned, "Then we refer her back to neurology to manage her symptoms."
"Yeah," Derek could tell his displeasure in it. "You need to remember that this isn't about what surgery is the coolest, it's about what's best for the patient. Here take a look at this scan, tell me what you think is actually best for her."
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They were at the birthday party of someone who was in Alex's daycare class, it was both of their first experiences taking Alex anywhere like this, they knew that it was a whole class party, which was why Alex had been invited, as he had only joined three months ago, it also explained why Alex had been so nervous about it - it didn't help that Alex was one of the youngest.
It was a big indoor playground thing, a soft play, not the first time they'd been there, normally they were having to stop Alex from trying to get to the 'big kids' area, but instead today he was not far from them, in the baby area alone, spinning in circles.
Meredith and Derek sent each other a look before both moving over to Alex's side. Meredith placed her hands on his sides, stopping him from spinning, he smiled at them nervously, still rocking in her hold, brimming over with energy.
"Hey," Meredith smiled soothingly, "are you dizzy?"
Alex paused for a second, then nodded his head.
"Why are you spinning around, little monster?" Derek asked using the nickname which had quickly become one he used on Alex all of the time.
Alex shrugged his shoulders, "Dunno? Why?"
"You don't want to go and play with your friends?"
"Jack Jack no here..."
"No," Meredith agreed, "he had to work today."
"An' Apes too?"
"And April had to work too," she agreed again. "But you have other friends in your class, the ones who came over to ask you to play with them before. Look they're over there." She pointed over at the group playing on the slide, "and look, they're going to slide into the foam blocks."
Alex looked over at them when she had said it, but Alex rocked more.
"Alex, are you okay?" Meredith sent Derek a worried look, not sure when in their fostering journey that these maternal took over her.
Alex looked back at them. "I gotta go there?"
"Not if you don't want to." Derek told him firmly, crouching at Meredith's side who nodded in agreement. "You're just rocking a lot, we want to make sure that you're okay.... Are you nervous about playing with the others?"
Alex immediately chewed on his bottom lip, Meredith gently tugged it back out, as she often had to, and she even more often had to stop herself from doing it when he was big and they were doing rounds while Alex was deep in thought.
Alex looked at Derek, still not stopping from rocking, "You my friend too?"
Derek smiled, he pushed Alex's wavy hair out of his eyes, "Yeah, Alexander, I'm your friend too. Me and Meredith are both your friends."
"Otay.... you play there with me?"
Derek was a little surprised by that, but he covered up his surprise quickly, knowing how Alex was someone who rarely asked for extra, and when he did it was something they tried to embrace.
"I can go over there with you, your friends look like they're having fun, I'm sure that they're excited to play with you."
"Mmm..... maybe.... you wanna spin?"
Derek and Meredith shared a quick look, before he returned his attention to Alex, "If you want to spin then we can. Do you like spinning?"
"Gotta."
"You gotta like spinning?"
Alex whined loudly, "Der, c'mon, le's'go."
Derek took hold of his outstretched hand, "Okay, buddy, let's go."
Meredith and Alex were walking around the grocery store, they both got off their shift around the same time, while Derek was supposed to be but he was still in surgery, apparently he would be for a while, he'd asked the receptionist in the neurosurgery department to let them know to go home without him.
Meredith was running off of machine coffee and adrenaline, while Alex was nursing a soda, a choice he'd made as soon as she had seen his hand hovering over the button for one of the energy drinks which weren't suitable for Littles bodies. it was the longest shift either of them had worked since Alex had come to live with them three months ago. Alex was mixing between being tired and being excitable, so Meredith figured she'd use the time which they were still awake to grab groceries, before they all started putting off going again.
"Derek told me we actually don't need broccoli."
"Uh huh," Meredith smiled as she added it to the cart, "sure he didn't. When was it he told you this again?"
Alex let out a halfhearted puff of air, "Telepathically?"
Meredith laughed, continuing to push the cart. "Nice try. You need to grab something for lunch when you have skills lab."
Alex groaned, "Skills lab is so boring, can't you get me out of it?"
"And you say that Jackson and April are nepotistic..."
"They are, I'm just..... adorable?"
"Sure," she said, but they both knew that she agreed with him about it. She added a few bags of ready made salad bags into the cart, along with more things to add to them, she ticked them off the app on her phone, and was about to push the cart on when she heard Alex say something.
"Huh?"
"Habada badag."
"What?" Meredith frowned looking at him as his cheeks began to pinken. "Are you okay? Did you hit your head?"
"What? No! It's," his hand ruffled the back of his hair, "It's just a video, Dog of Wisdom? I... Wait, look."
He dug his phone out of his pocket bringing up a video of a cartoon dog on a plane. As soon as he pressed play the dog began to make weird noises, apparently 'talking'.
Meredith didn't think much of it- it wasn't her sense of humor, but Alex was beaming at it, so she forced a smile onto her face.
"It's er, it's a dumb video, I know."
"It's cute," she told him instead, "Wait, did you find that on tiktok?"
"Nah," he tucked his phone back into his pocket, "Jackson sent it to me.... I guess it just got stuck in my head, sorry."
"It's fine," she told him, watching him as he necked his can of soda; So long as it wasn't on a social media they didn't know about then it was fine, even if she didn't get it. "I got one line from one of Derek's favorite songs stuck in my head for a twenty hour shift once," she offered.
"I mean, at least with it being one of Derek's favorite songs you knew it though?" he offered in return.
"I do now, but at the time we'd not long met.... our second date was me yelling at him over it, the third he took me to see a really bad tribute band of theirs."
Alex laughed easily, his fingers tapping on the can of pop.
The two of them continued through the store, Meredith mostly kept to the list, while Alex added a few extra bits, mostly trying to sneak things into the cart, Meredith let him most of the time, periodically, Alex would repeat that same noise he'd shown her from the video, she'd paid attention at first, before thinking about how he would often do the same thing when he was dropped, at first they'd been worried or at least concerned, but he seemed happy enough.
She came to a sudden stop.
God she was a doctor and she didn't realize....
Alex was halfway down the aisle by the time either she or he had realized that she stopped walking. He looked back at her, his head tilted to the side in surprise, the way which both she and Derek had immediately found adorable.
"What's wrong? Do you, are you okay? What's-"
She quickly smiled at him, closing the distance. "Nothing's wrong, I was just..." No, she'd talk to Derek about her suspicion before talking to Alex about it, knowing that her foster son would just suppress everything he could again like he had when they had first taken him in.
"I was just thinking that there was a new Krispy Kreme opened near here, and I know we have cereal and stuff at home, but you and I could go there for breakfast, if you want?"
Alex's face of confusion fully dropped, he stood up straighter, his face lit up and a wide smile spread across his face. "Derek's gonna kill us if we do, I mean that as a positive."
"He'll understand, and he's not too bad on you about food anymore, just... he worries."
"He worries a lot, plus vegetables are gross."
"I know that's your catchphrase. Anyway this breakfast will have no vegetables. Sound good?"
Alex nodded his head so eagerly that she would have thought she'd put a time limit on answering. "And coffee-"
Meredith let out a single loud laugh.
"-It was worth a shot, right?"
"Sure, I mean the answer to coffee for you is always going to be no... but still I admire you tenacity."
"Thanks!"
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Derek found Meredith standing with Alex at a nurses station as Meredith went over some things in a patients file, beside her Alex was fidgetting and clicking a pen faster and faster. Meredith had been the one to text him, asking him for help, because the pen clicking was driving her mad, and she really didn't want to end up yelling at Alex.
"Hey," Derek smiled easily at the pair, "having a good day?"
"Why do we even have to do paperwork?" Alex didn't bother with the greeting, his clicking of the pen just got faster, "Isn't that what machines are for? I mean we have all these readouts, and electronic records, but we still have to have paper as well? This is dumb!"
Derek and Meredith exchanged a look, Derek could tell that Meredith was tiring of this argument, he wasn't sure how long it had been going on, but it was probably a while. "Do you want an actual answer to that, which I'm sure Meredith has already given you, or are you just wanting to blow off steam?"
Alex paused for a second. "Whichever answer gets you to give me a lighter to set fire to this thing."
"You really think Derek is more likely than me to give you something with fire?" Meredith smirked as Alex pouted.
"What if I say please?"
Derek chuckled and shook his head, "As you'd be breaking about seventeen felonies I'm going to say no. Plus I'd trust you to do surgery on me, but I wouldn't trust you with fire, sorry bud."
He and Meredith shared a silent conversation before he looked back at Alex.
"Hey, you know how we talked about the whole autism and adhd thing-" Alex groaned but Derek continued, "Well, you clearly need a break from this, so why don't we go to blow off some extra energy?"
Alex dropped the pen like it was burning, suddenly aware of his clicking. "I don't have a diagnosis."
"Well yeah, but I'm head of neurosurgery, and Meredith is just generally in charge of you-"
"-and of you-"
Derek rolled his eyes, "-Which has some benefits. So do you want to come with me to the gym? Do a super quick workout?"
"The gym you go to?"
"The one here, I mean you can come with me anytime you want to my gym, but right now while you're on shift we're just stuck to the hospital one."
Alex's eyes flickered to Meredith, back to Derek, then back to Meredith, his cheeks reddened. "I've been annoying you, haven't I?"
Meredith didn't nod straight out, "I've worked with Derek a lot, so trust me you're not as annoying as him."
"Hey! What did I do?"
Meredith ignored her husband. "But you need to get rid of some of your extra energy, so go do a run, don't come back stinking up the place though, okay?"
Alex chewed his lip, used it it by now when Meredith reached out and gently pulled his lip from under his tooth. He sent her a nervous smile. "I'm sorry for bugging you."
"You didn't bug me," she told him firmly, "I'm more than fine with you getting out your energy - stimming," she used the word which Alex had been repeatedly avoided letting them us, "is fine, it's normal, and you need to do it. It's just we need to figure out the best ways for you to do it. Clicking a pen is usually fine, I just need to think for a few minutes. And maybe once you're back you can use one of those fidgets we got you, try them out?"
"I guess...." he looked to Derek, "are you being forced to babysit me?"
"I can't be forced to do anything." Meredith laughed loudly. Derek rolled his eyes, "I'm not babysitting you," he amended, "anyway I just got done in surgery, but my brains still going and I need to do some something. Plus your foster mother is picking on me, so I'm breaking you out of her evil grip."
"I'm also his resident, Shepherd, I don't have an evil grip on him."
Alex got to his feet, ducking his head to hide his amusement at seeing them interact.
"I'm your attending, your head of neurosurgery, how come I don't have any influence over you?" Derek questioned.
Meredith smiled at him before pulled him down by his scrub shirt, "I think you know why."
Alex made a loud noise of disgust, "Gross! I'm going with Derek just so I don't have to see y'all doing this."
Derek and Meredith laughed, Derek wrapped his arm around Alex's shoulder to stop him from storming off alone. "We'll be back in twenty."
