#bol ask

[clexa-surrogacy-au]

It is correct/safe to say that if in few months since Costia died, Lexa and Clarke have developed (apparently) some feelings and a strong atracttion for each other, its because they felt something before? Not that they realized that in that time….

I’ll mark this with a read more since it’s spoilery

I think it’s safe to say they found each other attractive 🤔 both physically and emotionally. They have a sort of competitiveness and intensity to them they don’t have in the same way with other people, an appreciation for how the other works. To say it plainly, they just get each other, seem to wear the same type of weight on their shoulders. Weren’t afraid to call each other out or disagree. They understood each other so there was always a kinship there.

I would say in a way it was less “oh I’m super attracted to her” and more “oh I could be attracted to her…” and a baseline acknowledgment of “she’s exactly my type, but nothing is ever happening 🤷🏽‍♀️” that resulted in them automatically keeping a bit of a distance with each other, something they didn’t feel the need to do with anyone else (and also, at least in the case of one of them, compartmentalizing and trying not to ever think about it). Not necessarily because they let themselves consciously worry that it could develop into something, but because they could both sense something deeper there than was wise to explore. They were friends. Lexa and Costia were happy together, and that was that. Clarke was happy for them. That was how it had always been and they couldn’t imagine that changing.

I think that happens a lot in real life. People don’t magically stop being attracted to other people when they’re in a relationship; it just doesn’t matter, because you choose who you are with and you choose whether or not you let something grow where it shouldn’t. Choosing anything other than loyalty to Costia was never an option for either of them. It likely could and would have been much different, had Clexa somehow spent as much time with each other alone as they are now, but they didn’t.

But when you’re suddenly thrust together on a journey through life—when you’re both grieving together, both scared together, both healing together—well, things can change.

There’s a little more to it than that but for the sake of spoilers, I’ll leave it there ☺️

[clexa-surrogacy-au]

I hope you decide to update this AU some day. Have a nice day and an even nicer year!

Thanks buddy 💗 I appreciate it. It’s really not a matter of “decide” because I’ve already decided to finish this loooong ago! More a matter of “feeling in a good place to write for it.”

I mean I think of this au all the time. Frequently open my working doc of it. But God, it’s so heavy, and the world is heavy right now with everything going on, it can be hard to actually sit down and work on it.

Don’t worry though— I fully intend to 😄 just chipping away at it slowly!

[clexa-surrogacy-au]

the kid will be in college by the time these two get to fuck

🤣🤣 sorry not sorry

[clexa-surrogacy-au]

Curious to know if this story is unfolding for readers the same way I’ve been hoping it is (and also, talking about the story helps keep me engaged so I can finish chapter 12 which is currently 19k and close to being done… I think 😅)

What are you imagining is going to happen next?

Anything you’re hoping for?

Any guesses or theories you’d like to share?

Favorite bits so far? (Not only of this latest chapter specifically, but of the whole fic)

[clexa-surrogacy-au]

I'm hoping that bol progresses to them admitting that they have needs that aren't being met and agreeing to help each other fulfill those needs but I'm also hoping that things go slowly with that and they really dig into the guilt one or both of them feel about it and then also have to deal with the trepidation surrounding how people around them will react. Especially costias family. Because I imagine costias family would have irrational fears regarding access to the child. I think anyone would really. And I hope Luna finds a surrogate too. Or adopts.

These are definitely all addressed, so yay 😌 (tho I’ll say one of these is switched around… just can’t say which cause that’s def spoilery 😄).

How other ppl react is gonna be a BIG thing!

[clexa-surrogacy-au]

Just read the BOL snippet and it made my morning! I am unreasonably excited about them embracing this next stage in their relationship. They’re both being so careful it’s precious and makes soft cuddling just as exciting as a spicy smut scene lol

🥰🥰🥰 thank you!! It feels just as exciting to write it too 😆

[clexa-surrogacy-au]

Hey honestly it’s okay to say you don’t think you’re continuing this story. A year has passed. We’d understand if you lost muse.

I know I could say if I wasn’t continuing; I would say whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, buddy. But I am going to continue it, hence why I have not said I am not continuing it.

I’m writing it when I feel like it.

[clexa-surrogacy-au]

It's been so long :'-( do you think we can get a sneak peak of next chapter? :3

I know, I’m sorry! I’ve been struggling to write during this pandemic. 

Hopefully this lil peek makes up for it...

//

She gasps, hands scrabbling back on the counter for purchase, as soft lips skim along the curve of her neck.

“I told you I’d be here for you,” Lexa murmurs, and Clarke can feel the vibrations of her voice against the column of her throat all the way down to her toes, reverberating deep in the pit of her belly. She fights not to let the moan escape as Lexa gently kisses her neck, one hand sliding slowly up Clarke’s side, the other slipping beneath the hem of her shirt. When fingers drift across her nipple, she gasps and can’t help the way her body arches into the touch.

“And I always make good on my promises.” Her voice is low and throaty, so unlike what Clarke has ever heard before. She blinks as she realizes that somehow one of her hands snuck up to tangle in Lexa’s thick, wild mane of hair without even knowing.

“You need this,” she breathes, her breath hot fanning over Clarke’s collarbones.