#brandy jensen

[lovelysmell]

by Brandy Jensen

[jacobwren]

"I take Sutcliffe-Braithwaite to be offering a warning, and a persuasive one: a retreat into the narcissistic pursuit of eroticized self-fulfillment will never be adequate to the task of social change in a system that seeks to atomize and isolate us. Some threshold number of polycules will never bring down a government, and in truth I don’t think a survey of most American polyamorists would reveal that they believe it could, either. If what one wants is revolution, of course it isn’t enough to be a revolutionary of sex—but neither does that mean that we shouldn’t be. The answer to any critique which distinguishes between sexual and material freedom must be to claim both. In a system that seeks to atomize and isolate, there is still some emancipatory potential in exploring different styles of living. For all the magazine covers and memoirs lately devoted to its alternatives, the dominant lifestyle in America remains monogamy, and the dominant means of maintaining that order remains compulsion. Perhaps the standard by which we evaluate polyamory or open marriage should not be its ability to remake the world but the possibility of remaking each other. After all, who hasn’t left the bed of a lover feeling undone? Feeling new, in some promising and terrible way that demands your attention? Alive to the possibility that you are not the person you thought you were, and that this will have consequences for how you live your life? This insight alone may not be enough ground on which to build a transformative political program, but it’s something. And if the people who are willing to cultivate rather than disavow it are annoying nerds, then so be it. Better that than a cynic or a scold. Perhaps it will always remain too earnest, too unbearably uncool, to admit you might believe that pleasure and care and devotion can exist in abundance." - Brandy Jensen, The Polycrisis: Why can’t we stop talking about nonmonogamy?

[st-just]

The lie I’ve been perpetrating the longest — basically since I moved here from Canada 12 years ago — to varying degrees of success, is that I have any fucking idea at all what is conveyed when Americans tell me what college they or someone else attended. There are simply too many of them for me to ever keep track, and people are constantly releasing new rankings, which are treated as news. Often, at casual social events, a friend will lean over conspiratorially and say, “he went to Wesleyan, obviously” and I will nod and offer up a wry smile as though I appreciate this joke. Yes, I will imply with the tilt of my head, that makes so much sense to me. My brilliant coworker will write a blog based on the premise that the New School’s mascot couldn’t get into NYU and I will type “hahaha that’s so funny” in Slack, completely dead-eyed the entire time, understanding nothing. There is a sickness in the heart of many people I otherwise love and find charming, and it compels them to believe that telling me “she has Sarah Lawrence energy” is in any way legible. The only one that transcends cultural differences is Harvard, which the world over is understood to mean someone is an asshole.

Brandy Jensen

[brotheralyosha]

“One of the more alienating cultural trends to me is the desire to return to childhood. Friends will talk about how they wish they could be a carefree grade-schooler again and I just don’t get the appeal at all. I hated being a child and couldn’t wait to grow up. I was deeply resentful of not being taken seriously, of being talked over or brushed aside by adults, of being told what to do. Obviously, this means I was a horrible little shit and a plague to my parents and for that I do feel some regret but the thing is—I was right.”

“Adulthood, for all its burdens and obligations and perils, is better. Because amid all of those things, every once in a while, is the chance to come to a conclusion about yourself and your life and then act upon it. Without asking permission first or gaining some kind of consensus, simply because you know it is right”

- Brandy Jensen, “Dear Fuck-Up: How Do I Tell My Parents I’m Taking Medical Leave?”

[pettycentral]

[is-this-a-pigeon]

[st-just]

I’m sure that college is a very formative time for many Americans, but please understand that I was legally able to drink at 18 so “campus” held very little sway over me as a Canadian university student. It was mainly where the classes were held, not some crucible of my adult personality.

Brandy Jensen

[st-just]

If asked how much honesty matters to me in my personal relationships, I will look you right in the face and say, “it matters to me a lot” which is a lie. I rarely want to know what people truly think about me, unless it’s something flattering in which case yes, tell me. The fact is lies are the glue that holds the entire rickety contraption we call society together.

Brandy Jensen