Guys this is a joke on twitter because we tried to trend #breadtinsaresexy yesterday because of Dan and Phil I'm not a creep I swear don't judge me
It was morning, and Dan, having just woken up, was in the mood for some toast.. Getting up he put on some pyjama trousers and walked out of his room and into the kitchen. And there she was. Looking as shiny as she had been when he first bought her. He went up to her, slowly caressing her lid. 'Dan, not this early in the morning.' she sighed, clearly enjoying the feel of his fingers all over her. 'But BreadTin..' Dan moaned. He wanted her so bad, to feel her metal against his skin. 'Maybe later.' BreadTin said stubbornly, she did not like arguing with Dan, she did love him after all. But Dan couldn't help himself, without even thinking about it he ripped of 'Tin's lid and shoved his whole hand inside her, moaning at the feel of her bread against him. The sudden warmth of Dan's hand shocked her at first, she tried to get him out, slapping her bread against his hand. 'Dan stop it!' she cried in a desperate attempt to sound like she wasn't enjoying it. 'Baby I can see right through you, I know you love it.' Dan purred as he slowed down and made his teasing more gentle. 'Dan..' she moaned, not even pretending she didn't like it anymore. She stopped fighting and just let him do it. 'Oh Bread Tin, you're so hot..' Dan cried out, softly kissing her sides, trailing kisses down her metal frame. 'Well.. #BreadTinsAreSexy..' Tin said, smirking. He gave her a sarcastic 'I'm not even gonna ask' look, then returned to what he was doing. Dan removed his hand from her, and carefully replaced her lid. He then scooped her up into a hug and whispered to her, 'I love you, everything about you is perfect.' 'Oh Dan, I love you too, I'm so happy you picked me over all those other bread tins at Tesco.. They were all much nicer colours than me..' Bread Tin whispered back, almost in tears. 'No Tin, your colour is the best, I would've loved you what ever colour you were anyway!' Dan smiled. He took her over to the sofa, got a blanket and wrapped it over them, and they stayed like that for the rest of the day.. It was perfect. After all, it's what's inside that counts, which in this case, is bread.