Okay so basically tomorrow I have this thing that is known at our school as Markham Theater and it is basically a day where the entire music program goes to this theater in Markham, rehearses and stuff for the show we put on that night and it's like yay exciting!
My only issue is there's this guy (I know there's always a guy) and well... I know I've told some of you guys about him but basically... he's an asshole in simple terms. But we used to be best friends, like really, really close. We've known each other for 10 years, we spoke everyday even after we went to two different high schools, ya da ya da ya da. Anyways, shit went down and January 10th is the last time we spoke to each other. So it's been a while.
I thought I was getting over it but then on April fool's my friend was like "LET'S PRANK CALL PEOPLE" cause we're so mature, so we called him, because we're idiots, and - well that had been the first time I actually heard his voice in almost a year. And it hurt. Like a bitch. I completely froze and for the next few days I couldn't even function properly. I wanted to talk about it and cry to my friends but they're done with his shit and my shit with him so talking to people about him really isn't much of an option these days. Not that it ever was.
But tomorrow there is an 80% chance he will be there, in the audience, since his sister is in the choir. I am not okay with this because I don't know how I'll react having not seen him since last year or something stupid like that. I'm terrified to see him. And at the same time, I'm scared he won't be there. I'm scared I'm preparing myself for him to come just for him to not show up and for me to feel like the idiot who keeps thinking about him when he's doing just fine, when he's become a better person without me - while I've just had this weird sense of loneliness that won't go away.
He was my best friend. And now I don't even know how to act at the thought of being in the same auditorium as him.
