Hey Tumblr. I am back on here. The reason why I am using the same account as I created in 2014 is because I get to see growth and change in myself. I get to re-evaluate and self examine myself the way I think and see growth in me. Besides, creating a new tumblr would have been way harder..I would think too much trying to make it perfect when nothing in this world is perfect. Right?! So here I am...where I use my tumblr as a diary, or so called-writing down my thoughts and jotting all the things that go on in my daily life. Today, was a difficult day to start with. I see there is much learning for me to do. Although, I am turning 25 at the end of this month, I'm never done learning about life. Besides having my evil TOM arriving today with my hormones and emotions going bizarre..and the awful disgusting cramps I had, working at CGD did not make it better. There was something I realized I really had to work on. Patience. Patience is a very hard thing to grasp. So kudos to all the people out there who has that in them. I definitely did not have the patience today. Maybe because of the cramps and hormones that was going through my body, but that is still not an excuse on my end. What went wrong? I did not think through before speaking my mind, I acted impulsively which usually I regret later on, and everything that came out of my mouth sounded like I was Grumpy from Snow White the Seven Dwarfs. I can say I am one of the kindest people out there but today I know I was not. I lost my patience. I felt like the bridge I tried crossing today was broken, and one wrong step I made, created a hole and there I went...everything goes crashing down. I lost control on my mood, temper and pleasantness. I felt like an awful bitch. I gave attitude, bad sass and annoyance to everything that happened in the morning. I was emotional and stressed out at the same time. I won't go into details of what really happened at work but the sole reason of this diary time is just for one thing I knew I had to work on. Driving home, I replayed everything that went wrong this morning, and that was my patience. I realized it. I acknowledged it. Now, I need to work on it. Besides just saying I need to work on it.. talking about it isn't really going to change. I need to act upon it. I will have to stop what I do next time when something like this happens again. Maybe take a deep breathe. Take a walk down the liquor store and buy my favorite Arizona Green Tea or Ice cold Gatorade. Take the conversation into a private area instead of out in the open where everyone can hear (because that just makes the situation worse). Closing my eyes and perhaps breathing and think to myself.. what I'm doing now is going to make me feel awful later. I can't lose control. I have to control my anger, emotions and attitude. In the process of my impatience, I could hurt someone's feelings, turn the environment negatively, and maybe ruin someone's amazing day! That is something I never want to put upon anyone. What I did today to run away from the situation I was in, was going home and laying bed. Despite my crazy painful cramps, it was a bad start of the day with negativity that I created because I lost patience.. I needed time alone. I wont be able to do that all the time in the real world. There is so much for me to learn. I turned on the music by Charice, “In this Song”. That song always digs deep into my heart because of the lyrics it entails. There is a new bridge to cross everyday. Whether it is a broken bridge or a fine bridge, there are obstacles to overcome each and every day. There will be good and bad times. But the best part of it is reflecting on it. Today.. that bridge's name was Patience. I am still working on crossing bridges everyday.. whether it's easy or hard, bumpy or smooth. Whether I stay on or fall off, I am ready for it. Because I believe one day, I won't be JUST crossing bridges. On the other side of the bridge, there will be a beautiful waterfall waiting for me where I finally meet peace with myself. Because all the things I learn and go through in life through experiences, someday I will overcome. "Without Patience we will learn less in life. We will see less. We will hear less. Ironically rush and more usually mean less" - Mother Teresa Good night world 🌎 (aka my 7 followers 🙈)