#brogan writes

[grangustins]

Requested by anon – sentence prompt “Have you drank all of those bottles in one weekend?!”

i don’t really know what this is. i was just bored.

What do you do when you get everything you’ve always wanted? Do you cherish it? Do you take advantage of it – in a good way? A bad way? Do you feel like your life is finally complete? Do you feel happier? Do you take every moment in and treasure every second? Or do you run away?

Aaron is beaming. His cheeks hurt from smiling too much and he never smiles but he’s happy. He’s truly happy for what feels like the first time in forever. If he was someone who was good at words, or even talked about his feelings more than once every blue moon, he’d tell you he felt like his whole world was coming together. He’d tell you he was getting everything he wanted. Of course he didn’t know this is what he wanted until recently. He didn’t know he wanted to marry Robert, spend the rest of his life with him. Oh, no. That creept up on him. As did Robert’s proposal.

He’d be lying if he said he suspected it. He hadn’t, not by a long shot. Especially after Robert’s little display in the pub. But he’s still there, in the back room of the pub, an engagement ring on his finger. How did that happen? How did Robert flipping Sugden propose to him? How are they engaged?

If anyone saw him right now, they’d tease him. It’s a good job he is alone.

So how did it go from that… to this?

Aaron knows on some level why. And how. And when. But it’s not realistic. He knows he’s being an idiot but he can’t stop. It’s just… Bex is always around and Aaron knows why but he also now knows about Robert’s past with her. And sure Robert explained it and they’re engaged. But Aaron’s mind doesn’t seem to work in a way that would be simple and easy. Nope, Aaron’s mind works a mile a minute and he overthinks and doubts himself.

So he ran away.

“Are you serious right now?” Robert had asked, disbelief evident on his face.

“It’s just for a couple of days. I need to get away.”

“Away from me.” Aaron’s face had fell at Robert’s words but they were true and Aaron hated himself for it.

“From everything. From this, from Rebecca, from this whole Lachlan thing.”

Robert had tried to talk him out of it, shouted mostly, and Aaron hadn’t really taken his words in because why would he when his own mind is saying things that make more sense to Aaron. They shouldn’t but they do. So he goes. Just for the weekend because he can’t leave Liv for too long. Doesn’t really want to leave Robert but his mind is made up.

He’s scared. Terrified, actually. Terrified of how strongly he feels for Robert, how he can’t seem to see his life without him. That’s not normal, right? To be that dependent on someone? It can’t be. It makes no sense. Someone can’t be your everything, it can’t work that way. What if Robert does realise Aaron isn’t good enough? What if Robert and Liv start hating each other again? What if Paddy refuses to come to the wedding? What if Chas isn’t happy for them? What if someone better comes along? What if, what if, what if?

And that’s all Aaron does for two days. He overthinks and he worries himself and he regrets leaving. It’s fun, really, how Aaron always manages to push people away. It’s a real talent of his.

Sunday is awful because he has to go back home, has to face Robert, has to face whatever it is he may have caused by leaving. He’s an idiot.

Robert is asleep on the couch by the time he gets back, though, because he’d put it off for so long, too scared to face him. Too scared to see the hurt he knew would be on Robert’s face, too scared of the argument he knows is coming. Too scared of his own feelings, of feeling so much for this one man. He should have come to terms with it by now, he’s had plenty of time. But marriage. That’s big.

Aaron just makes his way straight up stairs and gets into bed. He doesn’t fall to sleep for ages, anxious and scared, his brain working overtime in the silence of the night. He can’t hear anything past his erratic heartbeat and his never ending thoughts. But he does eventually fall asleep, when the sun seems like it’s about to come up.

He clearly doesn’t sleep for along. A loud crash from downstairs wakes him up and he jerks up, heart beating a mile a minute. He gathered himself and makes his way downstairs. He hears a quiet “shit” from the living room as he pushes the door open.

Robert has a black bag in his hand, it’s split open and there’s glass on the floor. It doesn’t seem like he’s making a move to clear the glass, though, he’s just looking down at the mess like it’s personally offended him, like it’s just a minor inconvenience when in reality it looks like a million things has been smashed in a tiny space.

“Aren’t you going to clean that up?” Aaron asks and regrets it as soon as he sees Robert look up at him. He looks pissed. It was supposed to be light-hearted.

“Didn’t realise you’d actually come home.”

“Yeah. Got back last night.”

“Good for you.”

Aaron sighs. Takes a step closer. “I can do that, if ya want.”

“I can manage myself.”

“Right.” Aaron mutters. He sighs again, feeling uncomfortable. He scans the room, notices beer bottles scattered over the countertop and then he realises it’s the same bottles that have been smashed.

“Have you drank all of those bottles in one weekend?!” Aaron asks, frowning.

Robert has finally started clearing away the glass but he pauses when Aaron speaks, his jaw tensing but he doesn’t look up. The pause only lasts a few moments before he’s back to clearing away the mess he made.

“Well?” Aaron prompts.

“I’m a little busy, if you hadn’t noticed.”

Aaron crosses his arms over his chest, staring at Robert’s moving figure.

Robert must sense it because he stops what he’s doing and stands up, finally looking at Aaron, and if looks could kill.

“Yes, Aaron, I did. Happy now?”

“Yeah, ecstatic, Robert. My boyfriend’s managed to drink the whole pub in two days!”

“Fiancé,” Robert shoots back.

“What?”

“I’m your fiancé, Aaron, unless you’ve managed to forget that in two days.”

Aaron’s face falls. He sighs. Looks away. Sighs again. “I haven’t forgotten.”

“Oh, lucky me. I really did chose well, didn’t I?”

“Look, I’m sorry, okay? I freaked out. This is big, Robert. Like really big. Am I not allowed to have a moment of panic?”

“This was more than a moment. You left. You just upped and left, for two days. What the hell was I supposed to think?”

The room falls into silence and Aaron can hear his own heart beat in his ears. Robert looks like he could explode at any minute and all Aaron feels is guilt.

“I know and I’m sorry. I regret leaving, I really do. But I just needed time.”

“You can’t just up and leave when we have arguments, or when you freak out. You’ve got to talk to me! Especially when we’re married,” he scoffs. “That’s if you still want to marry me.”

“Of course I do.”

“Of course I do, he says, like it’s supposed to be obvious.”

Aaron rolls his eyes. “I said yes, didn’t I?”

Robert glares.

“How many times do I have to say sorry before you forgive me?”

“You’ve said sorry. Doesn’t mean it won’t happen again.”

“It won’t!”

Aaron takes a deep breathe. He’s getting angry, he can feel it, but he has no right to be angry. He needs to let this go. But he hates that he’s made Robert doubt him, doubt them.

“I really am sorry.”

Robert sighs, dejected. “I know.”

Aaron’s feeling a little braver now, so he steps closer to Robert, minding the glass at their feet. It takes Robert a few moments but he finally catches Aaron’s gaze and looks back at him.

“I want to marry you.” Aaron states. There’s a small upturn of his lips because even though he knows he shouldn’t have run away, shouldn’t have made Robert doubt them, their arguments always lead to making up and then they can tease each other about the situation because that’s how the work.

Robert smiles back. It’s small but it’s there. “Promise not to leave me at the altar?”

“Promise.”

[grangustins]

a robron fic

title: call me crazy pairing: robron words: 2,187 summary: the bit after the reunion kiss warnings: n/a read it here

Nobody can put love into a box or give it a definition so that people know what it feels like and that’s what makes it so special, and so scary. Everyone feels love in different ways, some feel it in big ways where it’s all consuming and others feel it in smaller ways, like a happy feeling in their chest when someone they love does something that makes them smile. You can’t tell someone they aren’t in love if it doesn’t fit the way you love because everyone’s unique and everyone’s love is different in ways not everyone will ever be able to understand. And that’s okay. Love is love, despite how it’s felt or who it’s felt by.

Take Robert Sugden for example, if you had told him he would have ever fallen in love with a man he would have called you crazy. It’s not something he ever thought would happen. Sure, he’s been with guys, he’d liked guys but he’s never loved one. He loved Chrissie and he thought maybe he could have had it all with her, settled down and been happy. But then Aaron Livesy happened to him and look at where he is now. His life got turned upside down because of this one person. This one stubborn man who drives him up the wall. He felt love like he never had before. He fought with it, of course, battled with the notion he couldn’t fully understand because this wasn’t the plan. But, of course life never goes the way you plan. Maybe that’s the beauty of it but Robert doesn’t like when things aren’t in his control and loving Aaron definitely isn’t in his control.

So, Robert may not be an expert at love but he now knows it doesn’t matter how hard you try to fight it, love will always win. His love for Aaron will always win.

[grangustins]

Title: Turn Back the Hands of Time Pairing: Crisscolfer. Words: 3,008 Summary: It's Lea and Cory's wedding and Darren and Chris haven't been alone together since they split up. Warnings: Angst.

Lea and Cory are finally getting married. Darren couldn’t help but think it took them long enough. They’d danced around the idea for awhile, but there was never a definite outcome. Then one day, Cory got super romantic and just decided to go for it. He proposed in a candle lit restaurant, reserved just for the two of them, down on one knee and of course Lea said yes. She cried, he cried, it was all very cliché and loving. Nobody was expecting her to say no and nobody was really shocked they had gotten engaged, but everyone was really happy for the soon-to-be-wed couple. It was the inevitable that Lea and Cory would one day wed and that happy day had finally arrived.

Glee has just wrapped up its 5th season and still had another season under its belt. Anything beyond that was undecided, but Darren thought after the 6th season it would be done with. He didn’t want it to be, but he didn’t know where Ryan and the rest of the writers and crew could take it next. Darren would be out of a job, that scared him and he wouldn’t get to see him almost everyday. But anyway, this was about Lea and Cory and the life they were about to share together as a married couple.

Lea had insisted on the wedding being soon after the engagement, saying she couldn’t wait any longer. She just wanted to be married to him already and Darren understood that. Cory’s older brother was his best man, of course and Lea wanted Jon to be apart of the wedding, so she had Dianna and Naya as her bridesmaids and insisted of having her own best man, Jonathan Groff, of course. Lea obviously got her way.  

A summer wedding, a wedding that Lea was making sure people would remember for a very, very long time. Mark your calenders, because Lea Michele and Cory Monteith are getting married on the 11th May. He’d proposed in March, so it was in fact soon after the proposal and everyone was happy about that. It surely would be a day everyone would remember. Especially Darren.

-

The big day had arrived; people were hectic making sure everything went perfectly. Everything needed to be perfect. Darren was sure nothing would go wrong. It’d be fine. It’d be the day Lea had always dreamed about. Darren knew that for sure. He would make sure nothing went wrong himself. He didn’t want anything to go wrong, because Lea deserved a magical day that was perfect for her and for Cory. They were perfect for one another, so the odds were in their favour.

It wasn’t a church wedding, which Darren was secretly glad about. For one, he thought church weddings were boring; they were always more about God than the actual couple getting married. And another, churches were cold, like, really cold and Darren couldn’t handle that, so yes, he was glad it wasn’t a church wedding.

By the time everyone had arrived at the reception it was packed, people found seats, other people stood at the back of the room. It was nice. It was warm. The room was lovely. Darren had ended up sitting with Chord and Harry. He considered the two of them to be two of his closest friends on set. And Kevin, but Kevin was sat with Mark, Jenna and Amber. He hadn’t seen Heather or Chris, yet, but they were probably sat somewhere already. Matt, Jane and Jayma were all sat together, too.

The newest members, like Melissa and Blake hadn’t been invited to the actual wedding, but they were invited to the night do. Darren was glad they’d be coming at all since he had gotten close to them, but Lea didn’t work with them as much as Darren had so it was understandable. The night do would be fun and Darren couldn’t wait to get drunk and party. The cast’s significant others weren’t invited to the actual wedding either, but they would be showing up at the night do, too. It was understandable and sensible that they’d only come to the night do since there were already so many people here.

The wedding was lovely, it was emotional and Darren had shed a tear or two. The girls mainly cried. Mark tried not to, but he couldn’t help it, he secretly loved weddings and they were his best friends, after all. Darren thought Matt had probably cried, too, he always got super emotional over this kind of stuff. He even nearly cried when he found out about the engagement.

The vows were clever and funny and heartfelt. Cory had cried, Lea had cried, Cory’s brother also cried. It was already such an amazing and emotional day.

-

The wedding went on like that, hugs and tears and congratulations and more hugs. Hugging was very common at weddings and everyone seemed to want to hug everyone there. Darren didn’t think he could get tired of hugging, but today had proved him wrong. Now he just wanted to drink and dance and celebrate two of his best friends tying the knot.

He still hadn’t seen Chris.

The night do had started out fun, so fun, so energetic. Everyone had eaten and already had quite a bit to drink. Darren had always loved weddings and this one had been the best wedding he had been to so far. The night was still young and Darren still had a lot of alcohol he could consume before he took himself up to his hotel room and slept. The only thing about the night do that bothered him a little was the fact all his friends had their boyfriend or girlfriend with them now and Darren seemed to be the only single one in the room. That was depressing.

He’d seen Heather, greeted her and talked a little before he went around talking to the rest of the cast, making small talk and talking about how beautiful Lea looked and how handsome Cory was in a suit and tie. It was nice. It was just what he needed, until he saw Chris with him.

Chris had been seeing Alex for about seven months. Seven months of hell for Darren. It was hard seeing Chris loved up, seeing him so happy with someone that wasn’t Darren. It literally made his heart clench and ache like never before and why did Chris have to look so good? He always looked good, but God, today he looked even better. He needed a drink.

-

The drinks flowed and Darren had to tell about six people, “I’m okay,” and “Yes, I know, I’ve seen them,” and “I’m fine, I knew he’d be here.” It was tiring, but he knew his friends were just worried about him. He’d spent most of his night with Chord, drinking with Chord, dancing with Chord, trying to ignore Chris dancing with Alex. It was hard. It was really hard to see them like that, to see Alex touching Chris like that. He had to excuse himself and go to the bathroom. It was getting too much and he had had far too much to drink.

The bathroom was quiet, but there was a ringing in his ears as he gripped onto the sink and leaned over it, his eyes were shut and his breathing was heavy. He took a few moments to compose himself, to making himself calm down. He needed to stop this, stop getting so worked up over Chris, over Chris’ relationship with Alex. It’d been seven months, longer actually, since Chris and Darren had had anything. It hadn’t lasted long, but nothing about what Darren had shared with Chris had been little or insignificant to him. How could it be when Chris was so perfect and Darren was so in love with him?

Darren didn’t know how long he’d been in the bathroom, but the music had gotten louder before it died down again as he heard the door shut. He swallowed harshly before he stood up straight and opened his eyes, turning the tap on and pretending to be washing his hands. But when he caught the tense body through the mirror, his heart stopped and his hands became sweaty. Of course it was Chris.

“Hi…” Chris greeted quietly once the awkward silence had stretched out too long. It was uncomfortable, being in this situation. They were never alone anymore.

“Hi.” Darren replied as he looked away and turned the tap off. He wanted to just walk away, get away from being in this position, but he couldn’t bring himself to do that.

Silence.

“You… You look nice.” Chris’ voice came again and Darren forced himself to turn around and actually look at Chris properly now.

Darren forced a small smile as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Thank you.” He whispered. “You look stunning.” You always do, he added silently.

“Darren,” Chris sighed as he took a step closer to him. “I hate this.” He told in a weak voice, his eyes betraying that small smile on his lips.

What was Darren supposed to say to that? Chris was the one that left him, that ended whatever it was they were. Darren wanted to tell him he had no right saying that to him, but of course he did, it was mostly Darren’s fault it had ended.

“Me too.” Darren shrugged, trying to act nonchalant; trying to act like it wasn’t breaking his heart.

“I miss –“

“Don’t.” Darren cut him off abruptly and shook his head. “Please don’t.” He pleaded.

Chris just nodded his head then there was more silence, more things going unsaid between them. It had been like this the whole time Chris had been with Alex.

“But…” Chris started again. “You can’t blame me, Darren.” And Darren knew Chris was right, but if he blamed himself, he’d feel ten times worse and he just couldn’t afford to feel that bad about himself.

“I know.” He whispered. “But you left me, Chris, you just left. It was so sudden, so out of the blue and God, Chris…” He trailed off. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry.” He whispered as he started to walk away, but Chris’ hand caught Darren’s arm and he stopped dead in his tracks.

“You know why I did it; you knew it would happen eventually. We couldn’t carry on like that and you know it.” Darren could tell Chris needed him to understand this, so they could move past it, so there were no hard feelings between them, but Darren just wasn’t strong enough.

“You didn’t even let us try to change it, to try and make it better; you just left when things got hard. How is that fair?” Darren’s voice had gotten quieter by the end of his utterance and his eyes had fallen shut. He couldn’t get worked up. Not here, not now.

“How could we have changed it, Darren?” Chris asked as he finally dropped his hand. “Please enlighten me, because I couldn’t think of a way of fixing it back then and I still can’t, so please tell me.”

“God, Chris, I don’t know, okay? I have no fucking idea.” Darren snapped, glaring at Chris and Chris took a step back, away from Darren and that hurt.

“See, even now, you can’t even have a conversation with me without getting angry. It’s not healthy, our relationship wasn’t healthy, Darren.” Chris hated to admit it, because they seemed like they would be so perfect together and when they got together it just didn’t work.

They’d argued, a lot. It really was unhealthy the amount of arguing they did and it didn’t make sense, because when they were just friends they never argued. Darren was also jealous and possessive, but not in that cute, good way. It scared Chris sometimes, how jealous Darren would get over nothing. Chris so badly wanted it to work out, but he didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t happy being in a relationship with Darren and if Darren was honest, neither was he.

It was hard work. They were also always busy, hardly saw each other and when they did they argued. Maybe it was the distance, the amount of time spent apart. Whatever it was, Chris had had enough. Don’t get him wrong, there had been some good times between them and when it was good, it was really good and Chris was happy. That was how they should have been all of the time, happy and carefree and in love. Of course there would still have been arguments, but nothing like on the scale they had been.

Darren didn’t know what to say, because Chris was right, he was always right. Darren wanted more than anything to go back and change how things had turned out, make them better, but it was too late.

He hadn’t realised he’d started to cry until he felt Chris wipe away his tears. When had he gotten that close?

“I’m sorry I hurt you.” Chris whispered as he cupped Darren’s cheek. “But you hurt me, too.”

Darren chocked back a sob then and nodded his head. “I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, Chris. I never meant for any of this to happen.”

“I know, I know.” Chris replied quietly. “Sometimes things just don’t work out the way we want them to.”

Darren hated how true that was, because he wanted Chris more than anything, he wanted to be the one making him happy, making him smile that fucking adorable smile of his. He wanted to be the one Chris wanted. He wanted to be able to cook him dinner and take him out, bring him flowers and chocolates and just love him like he deserved to be loved.

Thinking back, those were the things Darren should have been doing and he was an idiot, because why hadn’t he done those things? Why had he let the best thing that had ever happened to him slip through his fingers without even realising it?

“I guess I just wasn’t the right guy for you.” Darren decided his voice low and defeated. Oh, how he wish that wasn’t true.

“I guess not.” Chris agreed before he sighed quietly and then he pulled Darren into a hug.

Darren tensed for a moment before he thought ‘fuck it’ and relaxed into that familiar hold as he wrapped his own arms around Chris and held him like if he let go the ground would swallow him up.

They stayed like that, just holding one another for a few moments, before Chris whispered, “you’ll find the right person for you one day.” And Darren hated the sincerity in his voice, because the right perfect for Darren was Chris and he’d screwed it up.

Darren nodded his head and pulled back, then. He couldn’t do this anymore. It hurt too much to know Chris would never hold him like that, never kiss him the way he used to. It was too painful.

“Are you happy?” Darren asked.

Chris nodded his head reluctantly. “Yeah, I’m happy.”

“Good.” Darren whispered as he looked away from Chris for a moment before looking back at him with fresh tears in his eyes. “You know that’s all I wanted, right? For you to be happy.”

Chris nodded his head, again, because yeah he knew that. Of course he knew that.

“I’m just sorry I couldn’t make you happy.” Darren whispered and before Chris could say anything, Darren had left the bathroom, leaving Chris standing there with his own tears threatening to fall.

Chris hadn’t let himself cry, though, because he was at one of his best friend’s wedding and his boyfriend was out there waiting for him. His boyfriend he loved, because he did love him, no matter how much he missed Darren and sometimes wished Darren was his.

Sometimes he wished he and Darren could try again, start over, but now, now more than ever, he realised that that just wasn’t going to happen. It wasn’t a shocking realisation, but it still hurt to think about it. It shouldn’t though, because he had Alex. Alex who was loving and caring and just so amazing. He was happy with Alex and that’s all that mattered.

-

Darren had gone back to the party just to tell Lea he had had too much to drink and needed to sleep it off before he went up to his hotel room whilst Chris went back out to Alex, put on a smile and danced the night away, laughing and smiling with his boyfriend. He only thought about Darren a couple of times before he went up to his and Alex’s room where he got lost in Alex’s touch, the feel of their bodies pressed together, being as close as two people could be.

Darren had fallen asleep alone, alone and cold. He hated being cold. He’d tossed and turned, thinking of Chris, Chris and what he could have had with Chris and what Chris now had with another man. He hated himself for what he’d done, how it had ended. But he hated the thought of Chris with someone else more.

The next morning Darren woke up with a banging headache and a text message from Chris that read:

‘One day this won’t be so hard for you, and it’ll be easier for me and one day you’ll be happy for me. One day, Darren, we’ll be okay again and hopefully we’ll go back to how we were before, how it was before everything went to shit and I won’t have lost the best thing that ever happened to me, because you are, Darren and I’m heartbroken I lost my best friend. Please don’t let this be the end of us, because I’m tired of living without you.’

And if Darren didn’t respond to that it was because his heart hurt too much and he couldn’t see properly through the tears that blurred his vision.