#bubble's words

[justwannabeagoodboy]

Give Myself to You

A short concept based on a conversation between my girlfriend and I: Hypnosis as a method of comfort and reassurance not just for the hypnotizee, but for the hypnotist as well. Offering one’s mind and boy in full trust when the hypnotist is anxious or unsure.

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I'm not going to leave you, my love. You know this in your heart.

But I know why you're so anxious. Why you keep asking if I love you, if I'm going to stay, if I'm happy. I know you've been left behind before - suddenly, without warning. I know that people disappeared and left behind wounds that still ache. I know your brain has trouble believing the things I say, even when your heart knows it.

So I have a solution.

I'll let you hypnotize me. Of my own volition.  I will sit right here, in this chair behind me. I won't move away when the chain starts to swing. I will keep my eyes open until they grow too, too heavy from your voice and the circling spiral. I'll know that what's coming is giving up my free will to you for as long as you need me like this. Until your mind gives you some rest. Your brain can’t argue with my open and eager consent to handing you the key to my soul.   Because no matter what happens, I let you hypnotize me. Of my own will, while it was mine, before I gave it all to you.  I'll lay out the pillow right at your feet right now. A soft place for me to kneel when you beckon me to come close, and when my body obeys without my mind doing anything. I would still kneel for you even without it, my love, but I want you to feel secure. If you’re so worried about me leaving, even though I wouldn’t, I will let you make sure I couldn’t.

And I can hear your brain all the way from here. I know it's saying, what if I start thinking you've already hypnotized me into staying, when I wouldn't want to? What if you implanted the suggestion to offer you this, when I wasn't aware? But we both know that's not true. And I know it's not true, because if it was, you wouldn't be worried like this. You wouldn't be so scared of me leaving if you didn't think I could.

Once I'm nice and deep, you can ask me all the questions again. I'll say the same things. Yes, I love you. Yes, I think you deserve to be loved, even when you aren't perfect. Yes, I'm going to stay. You know that there's no room or reason for lies when my head is stuffed with fluff and fuzz. No room for anything but you. Even when my body is yours to command, I trust you to treat it well. To use it well. Even when my head is empty of all thoughts, I know my heart will still hold the same love for you. I give you all of me, in the palm of your hand, because I love you. And I know you love me. And that is not going to change.

I brought you the chain with the spiral pendant to use. The one that makes me sink really quickly, you know? So that even if your voice shakes a little, even if your hand isn't steady, I'll still swirl and sink and drop before your mind can tell you more things that aren't true. I'll be under, and you'll have all of me. Maybe then you'll believe me when I promise you I'm going to stay.

One more thing, before I sink under? Before there is not even the film of independence, not a move of mine that isn't exactly what we both want? Before there is no question of this?

I love you.

[justwannabeagoodboy]

My GF is finally here for a visit, and we're taking it fairly slow considering the first thing we did when we actually got home from the airport was have me suck her dick down as far as I could on the couch. (The heat keeps making her sleepy - I was blowing her again tonight but we stopped cuz she got tired.)

I am on control, and we are going to actually fuck tomorrow, and I am. Nervous and excited. For all my big talk...

It's different when it's real.

[justwannabeagoodboy]

Mmm. Tipsy. Singing in kitchen with ice cream and no pants.

Anyone got any questions? Very likely to answer them rn. (Always likely, but. Drunk.)

[justwannabeagoodboy]

I feel bad about constantly falling asleep on my girlfriend when we’re sexting. Like, it’s just a product of when we’re able to get into it, due to time zones - when she’s going to bed, it’s the middle of my day and I’m often at work, but when I’m around bedtime is when she’s waking up, so there’s time. It keeps happening, though. I’ll be genuinely into the scene, and even touching myself, and then I just...wake up with my phone still lying on the bed, possibly with half a typed message. Sleepiness being an unintentional cockblock.

I wonder if any of my interest in somnophilia is tied to this? Like, my brain knows how I keep falling asleep, so it engages the concept of being used while I’m asleep anyways, so that my partner still gets pleasure out of it. You don’t need to stop just cuz my brain shuts off.

[justwannabeagoodboy]

Good thing about squats: get a nice ass, feel more in control of my body

Bad thing about squats: sore thighs for a few days makes grinding on a pillow painful

Lucky caveat: the pain is not a deal breaker.

[justwannabeagoodboy]

Thinking about the opposite of a siren song - a kind of mantra song, where it’s the singer who gets hypnotized.

It’s the kind of tune you just start singing out of nowhere, feeling like you’re making it up as you go, until it starts to settle into a pattern. Something familiar, even if the lyrics are nonsense, not even a language. Just sounds. But it feels good to sing it. And maybe the words change a bit on the next cycle, but the pattern continues. And you don’t want to stop singing it. It’s not like it’s hurting anything, right? You’re just...singing. Over and over. Round and round. Quietly, warmly, spinning the sounds over and over.

You don’t even realize how long you’ve been singing when your throat starts to ache, but you don’t stop. You want water, but you can’t stop singing. You can do whatever you were doing, and you think you’re in full control and can stop whenever you want, but you just don’t. You just keep singing. Keep singing.

You don’t even notice when you start to touch yourself - not roughly, not with intent, just rhythmic. Circles, like the song. Round and round and round and round and round and round. You don’t need to think about what you’re singing. The words don’t need to make sense. They’re just sounds. You don’t need to think about what they mean. You don’t need to think at all. Just sing, and sing, and circle, and circle.

[justwannabeagoodboy]

Why the hell has my libido fallen exactly in sync with my girlfriend's sleep schedule.

Like I know that's when I get home from work, but damn, bitch, if you wait a few hours you can be there when she wakes up and see if she's in the mood again.

Instead I'm left to my own devices once more. Sigh.

[justwannabeagoodboy]

At this rate I’m going to start just coming home from work and slipping my mini dildo inside me just to go about my day.

I’m so horny of late and there’s no logical reason why.