I wasn't expecting to get this frustrated over my fandom's portrayal of me.
I'm sure several of the others up here in our head could have predicted it--from what I can tell it seems to be a semi-consistent thing with several of us--but... somehow I wasn't expecting it.
That isn't to say that they get everything wrong. Yes, I had (and have) awful anxiety. Yes, I was (and am!) head over heels for Ranpo. Yes, I was (and am) an author! Yes, I had Karl, my pet raccoon, and yes I considered him my dearest friend. However, it seems that somewhere in the midst of all of it, the lines got blurred. So many people reduce me to just those traits: a socially anxious manchild whose only real loves are Ranpo and writing (and maybe Karl, if they recall his existence beyond simply an aspect of my design).
Of course, it isn't entirely the fandom's fault. There is issue in it with my portrayal, though I think it's less so because that portrayal is entirely inaccurate, but simply because it is missing so many pieces. While it keeps a few main parts: my adoration for Ranpo, my authorship, my anxiety, Karl; it fails to present the full image of me. I am a grown man--28 years old! I have killed people before (Yosano even died in one of the novels I had written, although she was revived when Ranpo successfully managed to solve the mystery and escape). Before our our relationship shifted, I was still attempting to kill my dear Ranpo! I was a talented sniper, and I was (though I did eventually cease to want to be, and stop my involvement entirely eventually) the third highest member in the Guild. I was an established author, and my novels were excellent, if I may say so myself. I am more than the simple reflection of me that many fans (and in part the show (and possibly the manga, though we have not yet read that in full)) seem determined to present.
I'm not quite sure where I was planning to go with this. I just needed a place to vent my frustrations out with my portrayal, and the others suggested that this might be a good way to do so.
- Edgar Allan Poe from Bungo Stray Dogs, fictive, #TMW🔥🪽
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