#bunnysorrow

[silk353]

I have started my journey through Final Fantasy XV.

The emptiness of the Western United States has always appealed to me when I was an child, the few movies that I watched brought salvation to my hatred at the country. I dreamed of a vast, deserted expanse I could aimlessly wander for days without encountering another person, only ever coming across endlessly stretching roads that seem to lead nowhere. A larger FFXV;

I have long avoided this game, clouded by disappointment and others reviews of it, it hadn't looked to be part of my journey at the time. I wouldn't be able to open my heart to its world. I think that it is why now in my beginning stage of my twenties that I feel drawn to this game particular.

In an false recreation of my childhood room, i will play this game with an frozen heart burning for the feelings of a purity-violated teenager grasping for a moment she can never return to.

Let's meet again, somewhere in this universe.

[silk353]

History is just this fictional thing, or a myth, or set of aesthetics for shows and whatnot. There's this implication that humans today are intrinsically different from those detailed in history, because there's no way good people like us could perpetrate those acts.

[silk353]

My natural obsession with fleeting, empty moments, swaying trees, rain running down a car bumper, the silence of an airplane overhead is the only things that in any sense feels as though connects me to reality.

[silk353]

And weep, and weep, and weep. And the rays of sun stream through the orange leaves, and the blinding glare through my eyelashes gives me briefly the impression of a different world.

[silk353]

The words come out but the bleakness still evades me, comes to me jagged, in slight, sharp pieces. Autumn and winter are the only seasons I really feel, the leaves are falling from their boughs. Hopelessness is mixed with blood, my heart pumps colder.

[silk353]

Pathetic, it's all pathetic. Always the same motion, always the same sadness, always the same position, always a step away. Even in my best moments all I feel is the sensation of a flower on the cusp of blooming - but I, I never bloom.

The violent ecstasy of feeling fate in the blue-green twilight sky and a blade of cloud carving by the moon feeling like it has your entire future inscribed - these desperate, crying moments.

They're all I have.

snow in summer / nier replicant ver.1.2247

[silk353]

All nature directs me somewhere, carries some invisible portent, but it's all inchoate associations, nothing but dreams upon dreams. I do imagine though, consummating the feeling, seeing it through, impaling the sun.

[silk353]

Een gezonde sociale omgeving is één van de mooiste dingen die mensen kunnen hebben: constante communicatie, ontwikkeling, aanmoediging, iedereen steunt elkaar, het vormt een bolwerk van cultuur en mogelijkheden, iedereen is een verlengstuk en aansporing tot elkaars ambitie.

Van alles wat we zijn kwijtgeraakt zonder het te beseffen, is een gezond sociaal leven waarschijnlijk het grootste verlies.

Het is iets waarvan je niet beseft dat je het niet hebt als je het nooit hebt gehad, en we bevinden ons nu in zo'n staat van verval dat we niet eens meer kunnen beweren dat we "afstand" hebben genomen van hoe het was...het is gewoon verdwenen, zonder dat er nog een echo van te horen is.