Bellamy’s voice is a calming, continuous buzz in Aaron’s ear, keeping him from losing himself completely in his work, which is a good thing. It’s why Aaron had wanted Bellamy to call. He had felt himself slipping into a stressed mental state that morning, had already stretched himself too thin earlier in the week, and he knew that he need this, that he needed Bellamy.
“You sure it’s okay that I called?”
Aaron rolls his eyes, having already heard the question three times in the past ten minutes. “Bell, I asked you to call.”
“I know.” Bellamy sounds like he’s smiling, as if that fact pleases him, as if he had asked again just to hear Aaron point it out. “I just don’t want to disrupt your studies.”
“You’re not,” Aaron assures him, shifting so that he has a better grip on the textbook currently balanced on his knee. “I’m glad you called,” Aaron says, meaning it.
“Good,” Bellamy murmurs, and Aaron listens to him breathe in and out, the sound soothing and giving the allusion that Bellamy is really there with him instead of at home with a vast space separating them. “I was glad you asked me to call.”
“Good,” Aaron echoes, and he can feel himself smiling into the phone, wonders if Bellamy can hear it in his voice.
“I can’t remember the last time we were apart for this long. I miss you.”
“It’s only been a month,” Aaron tells him, but Bellamy just hums sadly, and it makes Aaron think about what he’d said, and how true it is. They’ve been tied at the hip ever since elementary school, had only gotten closer through middle school and high school before they started dating in the second semester of their freshman year of college.
“A month is a long time,” Bellamy says, and then he sighs, the sound causing Aaron’s heart to clench. “Damn you and your desire to always be ahead of the game. I don’t understand your passion for education.”
“I’m only taking two summer classes,” Aaron tells him, feeling the need to point that out. It’s not that weird. He’d wanted to take a full course load of summer classes, but Bellamy had finally convinced him not to. “And hey, you have time off from your internship in a week, right? You can come visit.” He pauses there for a moment. “If you still want to.”
“Of course I want to,” Bellamy exclaims, his voice coming across the line much louder than before, and Aaron can picture him so easily; eyes wide at the insinuation that he wouldn’t want to come visit, mouth probably hanging open, too. “I would visit you now, if I could. Stay there with you the rest of the summer...”
Aaron has to bite his lip at the words, doesn’t trust himself to speak. He’ll say something he doesn’t want to, will admit to just how much he misses Bellamy, and he knows that if he tells Bellamy how lonely he is, Bellamy would drive down immediately, get to Aaron’s dorm in the morning without even worrying about losing out on his internship.
“I had a dream about you,” Bellamy says suddenly, his voice soft and full of something that makes Aaron’s stomach flutter. “Last night. I couldn’t sleep at all, cause I was just thinking about calling you today. But I drifted off at some point, started dreaming and...”
“And what?” Aaron asks, finally shutting his textbook and placing it beside him on the bed, and then he leans back until his shoulders are resting against the headboard.
“And I was with you, in your room. You didn’t see me, you were bent over your desk and working, muttering things under your breath and looking so stressed. Then you turned and saw me, and you smiled and stood, and then...”
“And then?” Aaron prompts, wanting - needing - to hear the rest.
“I miss you,” Bellamy breathes out. “God, I miss you so much, Aaron.”
Aaron swallows hard. “I miss you, too.” He shifts again, lies down on his side and holds the phone close, presses it to his ear. “Tell me what happened next.”
“I held you,” Bellamy says, a smile in his voice again. “You were so warm and soft. Then I kissed you. I kissed you over and over. You tasted good, but not as good as you do when I’m really kissing you and not just dreaming about it. And then...well, I’m sure you can fill in the gaps of what happened next.”
Aaron presses his face against his pillow, smiling into it as he tries to keep his breathing steady. After a few seconds of silence, he swallows slowly, his throat growing tight. “I wish you were here, Bell. I know this was all my idea, that it’s my fault we’re apart, but I - “
“Aaron.” Bellamy’s voice is gentle, already cutting through the spike of anxiety Aaron feels in his veins. “This isn’t...I’m not blaming you. I’m not mad at you.”
“I know,” Aaron says, and he does know, but that just makes him miss Bellamy even more. Bellamy always understands, always says the right thing to calm Aaron down. “I just...”
Bellamy chuckles when Aaron trails off. “I know,” he tells him quietly. “Just one more week, and I’ll be there.”
Aaron shuts his eyes, focuses on Bellamy breathing again, pretends that he’s next to Aaron in the bed. But it’s not enough, the ache in Aaron’s chest just growing bigger. “Keep talking,” Aaron whispers into his phone, needing Bellamy to understand that he needs some way to close the distance between them.
Bellamy hums softly, and Aaron thinks he hears him getting up. “It’s raining here,” Bellamy says after a few seconds. “Listen.” There’s the sound of Bellamy pushing his window open, and then Aaron hears the rush of rain mixing with wind. “Is it raining there?”
Aaron doesn’t know. He hasn’t been outside all day, hasn’t really been aware of anything until now.
He pushes himself up, walks over to the window and pulls open the blinds. Outside, rain is falling steadily, the street lamps making the wet pavement glow orange.
“It is raining,” Aaron tells Bellamy, and he reaches out to open his window, too, and then he leans against the wall, watches the drops of rain break apart as they hit the ground.
Aaron doesn’t know how long they stay like that, listening to the rain fall from both ends, saying nothing. Eventually Bellamy breaks the silence, tells Aaron that he’s reaching a hand outside, that the rain is warm.
Aaron extends his own hand forward, palm facing up as he stretches his arm out. Drop after drop of rain hit his skin, the water warm as it drips and trickles over the edges of his hand.
“I love you,” he tells Bellamy, curling his hand into a fist, trying to catch some of the droplets of rain, wanting to feel them more firmly against his skin, wanting to capture the one thing connecting him to Bellamy in this moment.
“And I love you,” Bellamy answers, a new smile in his voice, and Aaron knows it’s the smile that is always on Bellamy’s face right after they kiss, the smile that makes Bellamy’s eyes light up, the smile that makes Aaron’s heart feel too big for his chest.
Aaron smiles, too, and he keeps his hand outside of his window, keeps his phone pressed to his ear, loses himself in the strange sensation of feeling completely surrounded by Bellamy, his soft breathing and the sound of rain making the ache in Aaron’s chest disappear, replacing it with a warm glow.
