Feb 28
I was organizing my bookmark folders on my browser and I clicked on the silent blog of someone I keep buried deep in my heart. He had gone silent there in 2019. I missed it but after years of silence (he lives in a war torn place). He posted last year, but I missed it. And I am feeling some things, it's short blog, with a picture of him back in his country. At least I am pretty sure it's him back home. He had been gone for more than a decade, halfway to two.
#i hoped he was alive#but i wasn't sure...#personal#that blog started shortly after the last communication we had#i would read it#and learn#and weep#but i kept myself educated so i knew what was really happening#he is the reason i don't trust news and media#he taught me to question#that there was often another side to a story#i am feeling so much right now#my relationship with him fundamentally changed me#in a good way#he still looks like him but..#he doesn't#<444#it seems like i have lived many ages since then#and yet it feels like it was yesterday too#i doubt either of us are the same#i am really not the same person#and i am pretty sure he isn't#i know he went through a lot#i can't even begin to quantify it because i just don't know#he absolutely was the love of my life#though i wrestle with it at times#i know it