My mom asked me if I'm a nymphomaniac, quite an interesting way to check up on me I guess. She didn't even ask if I was coming back for Christmas or at least say hey, how are you doing.

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My mom asked me if I'm a nymphomaniac, quite an interesting way to check up on me I guess. She didn't even ask if I was coming back for Christmas or at least say hey, how are you doing.
No but seriously, man. Imagine if snow was alive. Like, people stomp on it and eat it and piss on it - just think about those poor little dudes screaming.. But no one can hear them. Because they're so small.
So after my terrible attempt of trying to cook, I think it's time to order some chinese take-out.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how excited would you be if you were a banana?
This place is a ghost town.
I am so not prepared for Thanksgiving dinner....
Why the hell is “suck my dick” even an insult? Like, sure, man, I’ll suck your dick. What are friends for?
You know days where you feel like shit but you look pretty good so "how are you?" is like, the hardest question someone could ask you?