#c:ice

[marebcrrows]

ice hc: she fucking loves kpop and axel is MERCILESS ABT TEASING HER FOR IT

i lov it 

[marebcrrows]

a little drabble, in reply to this. (shoutout to essy for fckn slaying me with that meme btw)

The dangerous thing about falling in love was losing yourself. You break the rules you’ve set for yourself, because you think this is the one, this is the person i’m going to spend the rest of my life with. But you break the rules, you love recklessly and wildly, and soon enough you find yourself on the bathroom floor trying to reattach parts of yourself. You can’t, because there are pieces missing, that you’ll never get back.

Ice looked at him. She loved him. Had always loved him, even as little kids, she had embedded herself so deeply in Axel and his family that when she was forced to leave, forced to keep quiet and silent, she’d left parts of herself with Axel. Her ability to care. Her love. Her kindness and generosity. There was no getting those things back. 

they weren’t good for each other anymore. That much was clear in the way that Ice looked at him and hurt. It hurt to look at him. It hurt to think about him. It hurt to love him - - - something Ice had always been good at, but never at the right time.

Maybe their love was only made for high school.

“I think -” Her voice was hoarse; Ice cleared it and continued, ashamedly looking down at the floor. I don’t know how to be good for you. They were in a repetitive cycle of hurting each other, by loving too hard or not at the right time, or not loving hard enough. People got in the way. Rachel, Axel’s father, the baby. She continued, but struggled to get the words out.

“I think that maybe - - - maybe this isn’t the right time for us. You know, maybe it’ll never be the right time. Maybe the right time already passed, and we may have missed out on what could’ve been the greatest love story of our lives. Because Axel, I fucking love you so much. You need to know that. I’d walk to the ends of the earth for you. I can’t tell you how to stop destroying me, destroying us, because I don’t know how to stop it. We’re both at fault.”

she wiped away the tears that trickled down her cheeks.

“Maybe we need - - - to take a break. So you go live your life over there, with your family; find a girl who can love you better than I can, who you can start a family with, who isn’t me. And I’ll live my life, here, with my family. Because, Axel, honey, we’re killing ourselves,”

this was not how their story was supposed to end.

“And I need to live right now. We both do, and I don’t think we can do that with each other. At least not now.”

Maybe not an end, but a pause.

[marebcrrows]

"You left me. You broke my heart!" (did i mash up two? U BET UR CUTE LIL BUTT I DID OKOKOKOKOKOKOK axel breaking about the leaving ahehehe)

His words sent a chill down her spine, a lump in her throat formed making it almost unbearable to breathe. Almost. Tears stung at her bright blue eyes, rimmed with black eyeliner, those eyes which were so, so sad. 

Ice knew this conversation was coming, but at the same time, she hoped he'd forget all about her leaving. 

But how could he? It had ripped her apart, those few years leaving, and she only just had the time to glue herself back together. 

"I'm        I'm so sorry, Axel..." Ice broke off with a cracked sob. A gateway for the oncoming emotions, because once she started speaking, there was no way for her to stop. 

                                                             "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it was hell,                                                              leaving you, I didn't want to I swear,                                                              but your dad       " 

Her mouth snapped shut, guilt ridden and shameful as she moved away, taking a few steps back.

                                                                         No. She didn't.                                                                         But she did.

"I broke my own heart leaving you, I didn't want to... I swear, I promise you, but oh god, Axel you have no idea." She carried on, hoping he missed the slight fuck up from earlier. But there was no way he'd missed that, even when Axel didn't know her any more he still knew her.

                                           "But I love you, I love you so much. You have to know that."