#calamariscorpion

[archivistbot]

Can the jarchivist open jars as his name suggests?

SASHA: Absolutely not.

[thankskenpenders]

Oh that anon talking about those shampoo bottles reminded of those McDonald’s sonic lcd handhelds! Did you ever have one of those?

I had all of them. But I think I gave them to my little niece and nephew a few years ago because they were having fun with them and I hadn’t touched them in years

[zombiepatch]

TMA headcanons?

i waited so long to answer this because i wanted to draw my fave headcanons but my brain just kept providing me with “hh ghhggnjfbn...,,, jon and dasiy short.,,.,.”

basira holding her two very tiny and very hungry avatars >:3

[biggs-regretti]

consider: a cybersix and lupin iii crossover somehow!

That is too powerful but would be such a mess.  Lupin would fall for Cybersix no doubt in my mind but then Adrian having to deal with the aftermath of that meet-up. Lupin would either figure it out real quick or everyone else would know right away except Lucas and Lupin-which is also great.  Working together job-wise could go pretty well if they were serious about it. 

[finiffy]

5'11 mikell is just wearing stilts under his pants

5'11 Mikell is just wearing cowboy boots with very tall heels

[bamsara]

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

r

ra

rat

[girldraki]

yo im curious so! Mikell and/or clef headcanons?

hm. funny mikell

extremely rigid sense of ethics slash The Rules. in another life could probably have done well on the committee but quote “doesn’t like jobs that make you sit still for too long”

the brennedy is a joke the mikcule is a joke but we are not joking when we say he can should must and will kiss daniil dankovsky and then the two of them will grow as people

the mean little teenager upsets him. the mean little hand sinister unnerves him. he is honestly kind of scared of the person (del’arte timeline) who keeps telling him that he is fundamentally wrong and they can fix him if he just lets them

a world of Gender in there completely lost to his total refusal to self reflect in any way shape or form

ranked #1 in the foundation internal fortnite leaderboards but to be clear he’s totally cheating

it is literally so fucking important that in his bedroom at his shitty ranch (a little out from the town gam lives in) he has a little bed with horsies carved into the frame

blissfully unaware that tj cured him of a moderate casein intolerance when they were both children. drinks milkshakes like it’s fucking nothing, the ingrate

cef:

we have like five different overlapping ideas regarding how it rationalizes its very obvious systemhood. highlights: “all nonbinary people regard their selves before coming out as literal different people”, “those are my Narration Boxes Funny” (does not know what deadpool is), “this is exactly like how people talk about having customer service mode. that’s it.”

loves physical contact including yes just fucking chewing on people it deems its loved ones. has given jack multiple figurative heart attacks with affection that got a little too close to 963

gets very quiet when it gets really upset, counter to most expectations.

literally i don’t know how it ends up listening to hyperpop but it must and it does and it LOVES it. no other form of music has ever captivated it so.

extremely I Am Looking Away I Do Not See It about the fact that it has a daughter stuck in containment. if it heard about the TIME BREAK and subsequent three daughters situation it would genuinely explode

sometimes it wriggles under the intrasite tram tracks and takes a little nap. it’s cool it’s fine

[team-gabriel]

Clef gets a pet snake! It’s a python. One time he brings it in with him during a meeting with Dr. Glass and spends the next hour prying the snake off of poor Glass

Glass does not like snakes.

Not that he hates them, per se. It’s that he’s absolutely terrified of them.

Ever since he watched that Jungle Book cartoon as a small child, he’s had this deep-seated, irrational fear of snakes in any size, shape, or form. Venomous,  non-venomous – corn snake or cobra – they were all the same in Simon’s eyes: horrifying.

Naturally, when Clef finds out about this little fun fact, his immediate gut-reaction is “I can so use this to get out of an eval or two”. So, when he turns up for his quarterly psych evaluation with an albino python draped over his shoulders like a scarf, Simon’s first thought is “oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me right now”

“Clef, you cannot bring that in here.”

“Why not?”

“Because I said so.”

“But Glaaaassy, she’s my emotional support animal – and by law, I am allowed–”

“She is not your emotional support animal! I would know if she was, and I never signed off on–!”

Clef doesn’t seem to care what Glass is in the middle of saying and walks into his office anyway, sitting across from Simon’s desk, making the psychiatrist flinch backwards so quick that he nearly toppled backwards in his chair.

“...Is there a problem, Dr. Glass?”

“Clef, get– get that thing out of here.”

“Aww, Simon, look – you’re hurting her feelings! She’s harmless!” Clef drawls, scratching under its little chin in a gesture that might have been seen as cute if Simon wasn’t so focused on its cold red eyes.

“Clef, I mean it. Get that out of–”

Clef holds the snake out a little closer and it flicks its forked tongue, making Glass reel further back – too terrified to be furious at the expression of pure amusement on Dr. Clef’s face.

“She don’t bite,” Clef assures, still petting the top of its scaly yellow head. “...Actually, she’s a constrictor – squeezes her prey to death – much different.”

And Simon has absolutely had it at this point.

“Clef, for the last bloody time! Get that thing out of my office!”

“Glass, this could be good for you–”

“Alto–!”

He loudly drops the massive snake onto Simon’s desk like a wet noodle and Glass jumps up, stumbling backwards over the legs of his chair, falling to the floor in a graceless heap.

“–think of it as exposure therapy!”

“...this is not how exposure therapy works and you know it!”

“Well, I suggest getting up then... You’re a real easy target for her just laying on the ground like that...”

Glass scrambles to his feet, ultimately ending up backed into the corner of his office, as far away from the reptile that was idly lounging on his desk as he could possibly get, begging Alto to just get it out of here. Clef only looks down to his phone, which hasn’t rang once and clearly has a total of zero notifications on the screen.

“Ooh, this is urgent – I gotta take this call... Babysit her for a minute for me!”

“Alto Clef, I swear to god if you leave me with this–”

But he’s gone. And Simon is alone. With that thing.

...Clef is going to get a very strongly worded email the moment his laptop is not beneath a giant snake.