#calorite

[ninebaalart]

Calorite

Fit to burn like a certain straw goat

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Tenderling

Debut: Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story

Meet this meat! Yup, meat, huh! What’s better than a chunk of animal flesh? Why, a chunk of Sentient, Cartoon animal flesh, of course! You know exactly the one I’m talking about! When you get a big cylinder of non-specific meat on a Stylised Femur bone? That’s amore!

Yeah! That! As the Meat on Bone emoji so kindly demonstrates for us!

That’s what I’m talking about, baby!

Alright, this one just looks like bread. Get outta here, Mozilla. 

Of course, on top of looking like Fred Flintstone’s supper, they also have: cartoon eyes! Hooray! They kind of look like they belong in a Banjo-Kazooie game or something. And they wave their bones around as though they’re arms! Isn’t that the cutest thing? On top of that? Their Japanese name is Juicy. Just... Juicy. 

Sadly, all good things must come to an end, and all cartoon meat exists to be eaten. Sorry, Tenderling! Nature can be cruel sometimes! Because, y’see, they tend to appear alongside a certain enemy named:

Calorite! As you can tell, they’re based on calories, specifically the kind you use to measure the energy you get from food! They just gotta keep burning, man! Sometimes, in battle, a Calorite will eat a Tenderling, and turn them into another Calorite! Far out! But a little mean. We hardly knew ye, Tenderling!