Stop 4: Ithaca, NY
I’ve never cried so much at a wedding. I also haven’t laughed as hard as I did this weekend in a very, very long time. I remember the very first time I met Adam and Caitlin, two of Brent’s best friends. It was the week after Thanksgiving of 2014. I don’t know why but I remember deciding to wear a brand new sweater I purchased on Black Friday of that year. Caitlin decided we would meet up for drinks downtown Manayunk at a place called The Goat’s Beard. I was nervous but excited. I remember Caitlin wearing a long, thick, over sized sweater and complimenting her on it. I remember Brent ordering a Moscow Mule and wanting to steal the copper mug it was served in. I remember then we would head down to one of my favorite bars, Lucky’s Last Chance, and to my surprise it was to meet more of Brent’s crew. Danny, Dana, Dana’s sister and brother-in-law were all there hanging out and having a good time. Again, I was nervous and had no idea just how much these people would mean to me over the next three years.
This year, I will be attending two weddings by myself where Brent played matchmaker. I think almost everyone knows the story as to how Adam met Caitlin and how Brent played such a huge part...but for those of you who don’t Caitlin summarized how they met in her own words shortly after Brent passed:
“...My fiancé Adam and I met through our mutual friend Brent Evans, who over the weekend passed away due to post-cancer complications. Cancer didn't take him though, he actually beat that like a champ, twice. I grew up knowing Brent through mutual family friends and even though I rarely saw him between yearly gatherings, he always made you feel like you were one of his best friends. Adam has been friends with Brent since high school, but became even closer after college and the two bonded over their love of skiing/snowboarding. It was a few years ago when my sister reconnected with Brent and he quickly invited her to join any event he and his friends were doing (because that’s the kind of guy he was). Soon after, she met his friend Adam, and the two thought Adam and I would be a good fit for one another. Later that summer Brent put together a spontaneous potluck, turned dance party, with everyone from our hometown who was living in Philly (because Brent always loved a good party and was always willing to host). The party was also a decoy for Adam and I to meet; clearly it worked. From the beginning, Brent has always been a huge part of our relationship, he was our dearest friend and a friend that we both shared before we even knew one another. So, when Adam proposed last year and we started planning our wedding, we immediately knew who would make the perfect officiant. Brent had the most charismatic spirit, he could command any room, he gave a toast at every event and he had the best humor and wit. And how amazing would it be to have our best friend marry us? He happily accepted our request and we know he was looking forward to being up there officiating our wedding this August. We know he'll be there though, and we'll save him a seat in the front row to make sure he has the best view while he watches the wedding of another couple (I know there's a lot of us) who he helped bring together with his amazing spirit. Bear with me for the next few days as I’ll be offline celebrating Brent’s amazing life. We’ll miss you friend. #LiveLikeBrent”
I’ve said it before and will say it again. Brent loved to bring people together. This past weekend, he brought a hell of a lot of people together. Caitlin and Adam’s wedding wasn’t your typical Catholic church country club wedding. It was probably THE furthest thing from that. With Caitlin’s very own wedding business, Clover Event Co., putting on over 30 weddings in 2017...I think it goes without saying that we knew she was going to truly outdo herself when it came to her own. And she did (okay, Adam too!). They created not only a wedding but an experience of a weekend called Camp Kuch.
My co-pilot, Amy, and I arrived in the Finger Lakes around lunch time on Friday. The weekend kicked off with a winery tour. I had NO idea how many wineries were in the Finger Lakes...it was crazy how many were right on top of one another. Our first stop was at Ryan William Vineyard. This vineyard was fairly new. When you walked into the tasting barn you could smell the wood and would’ve thought they just finished building the place yesterday. They had a small kitchen and seating area where some patrons were coming in just for lunch...which makes me think the food must be pretty good. Amy and I were early so we did a tasting, made friends with the vineyard kittens and then went outside enjoyed the view. It honestly felt like a crisp fall day. I would look out the window and expect to see the leaves changing. Apparently the summer weather in Ithaca is all over the place where you could have a cool fall like day like we had or have it be almost 90 degrees.
Caitlin, Adam and the rest of the gang showed up a bit later for a drink before heading to the next stop. Caitlin, a girl after my own heart, showed up in black to kick-off her wedding weekend. With such an amazing view of Seneca Lake I asked for a photo with the bride-to-be and Brent’s roommate, Ryan, who is also my roommate-to-be.
The next stop was Finger Lakes Distilling which ruled by the way. When we arrived, more of Adam’s college friends were there patiently waiting with drinks in hand. Since I was driving I stopped myself from ordering a flight of bourbons and whiskeys and opted for the cocktail tasting, ha. I had the Classic G & T: McKenzie Distiller’s Reserve Gin, Q Tonic + Lime, the FLX Mule: Vintner’s Vodka, Lime Juice + Ithaca Ginger Beer, the Blood Mary: Glen Thunder Corn Whiskey, Longbranch Bloody Mary Mix, Celery Bitters + Bacon Salt (MmMm, Bacon) and last but not least the Back Porch Tea: McKenize Bourbon Whiskey, Sweet Tea + Lemon...that last one went down a little too easy. Also, a quick FYI - the owner’s last name is McKenzie hence the name of liquors.
After spending close to an hour at the distillery we caravaned to the next stop on the list: Two Goats Brewing. Why Two Goats? “Because dobble bock means double bock. One of the German meanings for bock is ‘billy goat’.” Two Goats is described as a small town brewpub on Seneca Lake with good beer, good beef, good people and quite the view. It was a small spot but had an awesome deck and yes, it did have quite the view. You felt like you were in an old wooden barn. There was a loft above the bar which the bartenders accessed via a ladder. I took a break at this point to rehydrate not knowing how long the tour through the vineyards, breweries and distilleries would truly be. Matt and Erin showed up at this point with their baby girl, Fiona, who quickly stole the spotlight at the bar. She was curious, laughing, loving on her mom and dad. As I was holding Fiona at one point, she played with my clover necklace Caitlin had given her associates. All I kept thinking was that this girl will hands down break some hearts in the future with those baby blues she has. You could honestly drown in those blue pools of eyes.
After cooing over and playing with Fiona I hung out with Amy, Drew and Amanda. Drew and Amanda are two of Brent’s dear friends from back home and are expecting a baby this November. (Visiting them again in Syracuse in on my list for Tour de Brent) We sat at the bar and Drew decided that this place was a good spot to slap a Live Like Brent sticker up. I agreed and he placed one in the men’s room where other stickers had been placed. Brent would’ve really dug this brewery and the food. Fun fact...there is only one item on their food menu: a roast beef sandwich on a local homemade bun, homemade au jus and topped off with a mild creamy horseradish sauce. And yes, it was delicious.
The last stop on the tour was Wagner Vineyards Estate Winery. Another spot with a gorgeous view. It was massive. They had a winery and brewery onsite along with a cafe! Amy and I did another tasting before sitting out on the deck to enjoy the view with Drew and Amanda. Amanda looked so sweet just sitting there with the lake in the background I asked if I could take a photo. Then Drew immediately said, “LET ME GET A BELLY PIC.” After we asked one or two more times she gave in. It wasn’t long after before we decided we should pack up and begin the drive to Firelight Camps a.k.a. Camp Kuch.
When we arrived we checked in at the tented lobby in the center of the grounds. Amy and I were sharing a yurt with John who later called me at 3:30am trying to find said yurt with a suit and bottle of Johnny Walker black label in hand. Try waking up at that hour half asleep after a night of drinking and describing where you are in the middle of the woods. Our yurt was a platform tent, furnished with hardwood floors, a desk, 3 lanterns which were our only source of electricity (thankfully there was a USB outlet on the back of them for phone charging), a coat/clothing rack, luggage stand two night stands, two queen sized beds with heavy quilted blankets and rustic chic-inspired furniture. Oh, and there was a huge deck with chairs off the back that overlooked a trail in the woods. They were cozy. I for one, didn’t mind “glamping” at all. Heck, I love roughing it backpacking through the woods in the rain trying to set-up camp. But I’m pretty sure Amy said two or three times, “This bed is so comfy!” I do wish I took more photos than I did this weekend but I did take a photo of the outside of our yurt - thankfully Dan captured the interior of his and Dana’s single yurt for the weekend below along with Ryan’s double which was next door to mine!
After we checked in and settled in we changed and attended the welcome dinner in the middle of the camp grounds. They had an open bar, gourmet pizzas made onsite along with other delicious foods in the tents.We hung out, drank, caught up with our friends, walked around the camp grounds and then stumbled upon the bocce ball court. Never had I ever played bocce ball...and I will say I wasn’t terrible at it. Amanda and I played against Drew and Ryan. Ryan being a pretty legit bowler was also excited to play this game for the first time. Pictured below is what I like to call Bocce Ball Biff. Also, Ryan had a thing for power stances when posing for photos the entire weekend.
After we lost to the boys we went back to the bar, got another round of drinks and sat around the fire pit for hours into the night which turned into morning. At one point, Ryan in all of his glory started tapping his toe and bouncing his hips, points at me, and puts his hand out to dance. Feeling pretty good with the cider I’d been sipping all night, he twirls me once, twice, we dance, I say, “Your turn!”, he “graciously” twirls and...doesn’t stop. Ryan twirled again and fell over one of the wooden Adirondack chairs by the fire and laid there. It happened so fast...but not really. I cried. Tears of pure laughter. I couldn’t stop. Nobody else could stop laughing either. It hurt but it hurt so good. The Lobby Tent had an open bar all night until about 1am or so...things started to get fuzzy at that point. I have no idea what we did all of those hours around the camp fire that night. I remember laughing, chatting and trying to stay warm by the fire. It truly felt like fall that evening. As we faded, the night sky did as well. I went to bed bundled up listening to the sound of coyotes howling.
Saturday was wedding day. The group of us ate breakfast and got ready for the day ahead. I don’t know about you but the last wedding I went to I killed at least 4 episodes of ESPNs 30 for 30 from my hotel bed before heading to the ceremony. The great thing about Firelight Camp is that there are hiking trails, breweries, downtown Ithaca and things to do in the immediate area. So there wasn’t a need for a television. While our friends hiked and went out for lunch, Hannah and I worked on set up. We work with Caitlin for her company Clover Event Co. on other weddings and events so it was a no brainer to help her on her special day. Hannah and I spent the day setting up everything from the signage at the ceremony to decor and displays at the reception. It took 4 hours but that was because this wedding was well thought out...plus, the devil is in the detail. We had every single one covered...even if Caitlin did swing by to tweak! I consider myself a calm and even keeled person for events. I think what I love most about events is the internal anxiety that is immediately followed by relief from seeing the reaction to the event on everyone’s faces. It’s a weird roller coaster of emotions but satisfying.
By 3:30pm, I got ready and joined everyone for a quick drink before the ceremony. Danny was standing in the lobby tent with the boys tasting some beers he had picked up along his summer travels and he gave me a well deserved beer. Standing there I spotted Caitlin coming through the tent and begged for a quick photo knowing how tough it would be later in the evening to snag a selfie with her.
The guys and I made our way up the hill to where the ceremony was being held. A nice big green space with wooden benches and a custom wooden chevron patterned backdrop Adam made himself. I sat right behind “Brent” which was a bow tie he would’ve worn for the couple that day. Caitlin was absolutely stunning walking down that aisle and Adam never looked better standing there wearing his forest green suit and crooked smile he was trying to keep as a smirk. Ryan began the ceremony with mentioning that there would be no officiant at this wedding. He went on to explain the passing of Brent and how he had originally brought Adam and Caitlin together. I think everyone cries over Brent for different reasons. Yeah, ultimately it’s because his life was cut short. I found myself sitting there, sunglasses on, drinking my beer as I tried to keep the tears back. But I cried. I cried because it was such a sad way to start the wedding...the happiest day of Adam and Caitlin’s life together. I cried because their love is so fucking beautiful. I cried because Brent wasn’t there with me. I cried because there was a fucking bow tie sitting in front of me. Not Brent. I cried because a dragon fly showed up as Ryan wrapped up. That dragon fly hung out above Adam and Caitlin. That dragon fly sped off then hovered behind the groomsmen. I cried. Thank God for waterproof mascara.
The wedding continued. The couple exchanged vows they wrote themselves followed by haikus each had written for one another. It was beautiful. EVERYTHING was beautiful. Adam and Caitlin happened to both have a thing for haikus which is how Adam ended up prosposing to her. After the ceremony I found Ryan and gave him the biggest hug, told him he did a wonderful job, spoke beautifully and told him how much I loved him. He pulled back what seemed like to make sure he wouldn’t begin crying. I get it. But I could’ve held on for hours. We then went down to find some drinks and join the cocktail hour.
There was food, drinks, two poets on typewriters creating free custom haikus for guests, a cigar station, temporary tattoos with the Camp Kuch logo. Yes, they had their own logo for the weekend. The band, a folk/pop 5 piece band from Philadelphia called, Stella Ruze, started to play. I knew they were going to rock just from hearing them handle their mic checks during set-up. I would hands down pay money to go see them play here in the city. (Check them out!) Everyone was buzzing around the tents, fire pits and signing the guest book. This is the second time I’ve seen a Polaroid guest book and I love it. If I get married I will definitely have one at my wedding. I signed something along the lines of, “Congratulations! I don’t really know what to say sometimes. But this whiskey is for you. Cheers, Ais” Then had Josh take a photo of me tipping my drink towards the camera like Leonardo DiCaprio did in that one scene of The Great Gatsby. Then...some of us may have had a slight photo shoot session. Here’s one of my favorites from wayyyy later in the night of Amy, Amanda, Dana and myself.
We then went to find our seats at long banquet tables under the main tent. The speeches were made. Some were hilarious and some were touching. Brent was mentioned not once but several times throughout. Even if you didn’t know Brent walking into this wedding you most certainly knew who he was by the end of the night. I did have to get up and leave at one point. I went to the bar for another “East Sider” which was the bourbon cocktail for the evening. (Adam and Caitlin grew up on different sides of the valley in Northeast PA.) Hannah followed and got another drink with me. I told her I needed to go to my tent for a little and that I would be back. Honestly, I needed to check my waterproof mascara and just step away for a minute to reflect and process. I followed the winding gravel path back to my tent, number 7. I sat at the little desk, turned on the lantern, touched up my make-up, sat there and then stepped out onto the back deck looking into the woods as the sun was getting ready to set. I told Brent I missed him and wished he was there with me. After a couple of minutes in silence, I took a deep breath and went to go back to my seat as I was sure dinner was probably about to be served. As I stepped out from behind the yurt flap, I saw Hannah waiting there for me with her drink. I told her she didn’t have to wait for me and she gave me the biggest, tightest hug. We cried. She told me she doesn’t know what to do and how to take the pain away from me. Honestly, just hearing those words made me cry more than the fact that Brent wasn’t there. Just seeing Brent’s friends upset or reaching out to me is what gets to me sometimes. Just that they’re hurting or just for the simple fact that they care so much about me. It’s so touching it makes me grateful to the point where I just cry. After we got ourselves back together, checked one another’s make up, we went back to our seats.
Dinner was family style which rocked. I haven’t been to many weddings that have done this but it’s definitely a unique way to serve dinner. Josh and I somehow ended up losing Hannah and Amy. So I made Amy’s dish and Josh made Hannah’s. I started snapping photos which is a new thing for me. I was never one to pester for photos but after losing Brent I didn’t care. Take. The. Photo. You won’t regret it. And here’s Josh...with Hannah.
Amanda looked so cute in her dresses and baby bump all weekend I couldn’t not take photos of her. The food and conversation was great but once the band took the stage we all grabbed our drinks and hit the dance floor as the sun finally began to set.
P.S. - I LOVE this photo of Hannah. As the night went on, we danced and drank. I missed having Brent on the dance floor. That’s one thing we looked forward to at every wedding. Dancing. I’m extremely thankful that we were able to make Josh and Hannah’s wedding this past June to get a couple more dances in. Neither of us knew that they would be our last. But at one point Ryan came through the crowd and pulled me out for a song. More twirling happened. This time without any falls. Then the temporary tattoos were going everywhere. Hannah and Josh started placing tipi/yurts on my arm but I when Josh asked for one on the side of his neck. I said, “Sure, but let me roll with this.” Please note that this stayed on his neck through Monday. Also, Josh has nailed the “I’m not going to look at the camera and do an awkward gaze” pose a little too well.
The band covered everything from The Grateful Dead to The Lumineers. Caitlin had already told me a while back that they would play John Denver’s “Country Roads” for Brent. As soon as those first few chords played without hesitation, we all took one another, arm in arm, and started singing, “Almost heaven, West Virginia...” By the end of the song Caitlin was in tears. She grabbed me and told one another how much we loved each other and of course how much we wished Brent was there with us. As many of you probably know, any time “Country Roads” ended Brent and his buds would then begin a chant, “Eat shit Pitt! Eat Shit Pitt!” This was due to an old rivalry between West Virginia University and the University of Pittsburgh. So when the song concluded, I put my fist in the air and I chanted...And chanted...And chanted.
Then Adam came up to me and said, “Um Ais, you know my sister went to Pitt, right?” We laughed and I told him at the moment I just didn’t care. He gave me a big hug and told me how much he loved me. SO much lovin’ was going on this weekend. I of course told him how much him and Caitlin meant to me too. Brent’s friends keep tabs on me in different ways. Some of them will hit me up just checking in on what I’ve been up to and how I’m doing. Others will have me over for dinner. Adam texts me once in a while and reminds me he loves me and whether I like it or not he’s going to be in my life. I’ve had that said to me on multiple occasions, “You’re not getting rid of us.” or “I hope you know you’re not going anywhere.” And I know all of this. But keep the reminders coming because I appreciate hearing those words.
As the night went on our group ended up going back to Danny and Dana’s tent for “a night cap” before going back to our own yurts to hit the sheets. I snagged my favorite photo of the weekend. You can bet your money that it will end up framed in our apartment. Yes, it’s Ryan in another power stance.
As I’m trying to wrap up this post, I’m not sure the proper way to do so. I can go on about brunch the next morning and try to describe the weather and just keep telling you how beautiful it was. But on my drive back to Philadelphia with Amy I made a pit stop to see Brent. Dan and Dana had visited him the other week and left a Phish Baker’s Dozen Tour cup for him at his grave. Every time I stop by I play a song for him. As I took my #CampKuch koozie from the weekend out of my bag, I placed it on the cup and played “Farmhouse” by Phish. It’s my favorite Phish song and only one I really know. They played it at the first Phish show Brent took me to in the summer of 2016. I was stunned when I heard them play it.
Caitlin and Adam, I know you’ve probably heard this a thousand times already but your wedding weekend was stellar and picture perfect. Dan, Dana, Ryan, Koren, Drew, Amanda, Dave, John, Amy, Matt, Erin, Josh and Hannah...YOU guys are stellar. I love you. Brent loves you. I’m sure Brent is extremely thankful that I have you all. Please know that I am too.
Photo Credit: APGcollective, Caitlin Kuchemba, Dan Young Blood, Ryan Chmiola, Dave Koval
Please check out APGcollective’s dreamy photos from the weekend linked here!