Red Sands -- Creature Comforts
v: red sands (gladiator au)
compiled rp with @captstarsnstripes, and spelling errors abound as we did this on pirate pad. (*note, not edited or spell checked)
He had curled in on himself, huddled as much as his large, furry body could. Chunks of his fur had started to fall out from the stress, and his insides ached. His bones jutted out, tight against his skin, and it made laying on the ground painful -- he had to keep digging a little divot in the dirt to form some kind of cushion, lest his elbows start bleeding... again. The wolf didn’t even react to the banging against his cell bars. Just as his body curled, so had his mind. It was the only way to handle times like this. But the banging wouldn’t stop, and was soon followed by yelling and then --
Water splashed over him and -- finally -- a flinch. He jumped up, something between a whimper and a growl in his throat. Backing against the wall, tail between his legs, the wolf growled, trying to focus on the man -- men? how many were there? -- in front of him, a spear in his grip but not aimed at him. “Get up,” the man ordered. One of the head guards, he thought, from the way he smelled and his voice. He should recognize him. But what did it matter? “Oy!” The man smacked his hands together to get his attention, earning him a growl and lowered ears. “Change back and go find that friend of yours. He’s kicking up a fuss. Tomorrow morning, you march your furry ass right back here, you hear me?” Friend? He didn’t have friends. He... no, wait ...Steve? Steve. Was he worried? How long had it been? He was kicking up a fuss, what did that even mean? What was he supposed to do? What-- “Oy!” Another smack, and Fenrir flinched, eyes focusing back on the man. “You hear me, mutt? Change forms. Now. I’m not going to wait here all day.” Slowly, aching through it, feeling the emptiness of his stomach all the harder, Fenrir shifted into a man, and stared blankly at the other. The guard shoved him through the cell doors and threw a worn tunic at him, nothing else. Fenrir stumbled forwards, nearly into the few others who were there in case things got hairy, and stopped once again, swaying on his feet. He was so hungry, the idea of food make him physically ill. A smack to the back of his head almost made him fall, but it also snapped him back to himself, and he turned and snarled at the guard, snapping his teeth together. The man just laughed. “Put this on and go. Remember, back here by tomorrow morning. Don’t make me have to track you down.” He smacked his ass, earning another flinch. “Go on.” Fenrir shoved the tunic over his head, arms shaking as he did, and limped down the hall. Steve meanwhile was pacing the pits. The gladiator he was sparing with laid on the ground at his feet, groaning and he heard the whispers: That the past few weeks he had grown more aggressive and ruthless. He supposed he had...but the morning; asking the guards; demanding - to know where Fenrir was at again got him nothing but fustration and an increase in his worry. It had been a while and he worried. He worried and fretted. Was the boy dead? Hurt? Did they lock him away?...Steve didn't know and his demands and threats went unanswered. So he worked his aggression out in the ring; but looking down at the man, he realized it was time to call it quits for now. He nodded to men and turning; he headed for the baths. He'd get clean, wait. Meditate...and then go find another guard and demand more answers....<3 Steve. He had to find steve. He was hungry. Felt disgusting. He had to find Steve. He wouldn't dare get food. How was Hel? Jor? He hoped they were eating. Steve surely had been esting. Had to keep it up for the fights. Norns, he felt disgusting... Fenrir found himself in the baths. In a daze, he wandered around without any real direction, just focusing on where he put his feet so he didn't fall. <3 The shuffle of feet, the sound of roaming had Steve looking up - and he gasped. "Fenrir!" He calle; rising and quickly rushing to Fenrir and he hesitated; just for a moment, before he reached out to try and support hime. <3 Fenrir jumped, snapping his attention up and on -- "Steve?" He breathed. And -- he couldn't help it, he flinched as Steve rushed towards him, but it took him barely the span of another breath to go right back to leaning into the man. He let out a sigh, let his head fall onto Steve's shoulder, breathed in his scent, and collapsed against him. "Hi." he murmured, closing his eyes. "Heard y'r lookin' f'me." <3 The boy flinched - Flinched and looked dazed and- Steve's hand went to Fenrir's side and he felt thin to him and he growled a little as he wrapped his arms around him as the younger man leaned heavily on him. What had they done to him.... "Yeah...yeah, I was worried..." Steve whispred as he stroked his hand over Fenrir's head. "By the gods...what happened to you?"<3 "Mm..." Maybe he'd just sleep right here. Steve was warm, and his scent felt safe, even if Fenrir was too weak to wrap his arms around him in return. But he purred again to encourage the petting. And he smiled to himself. Steve was worried. About him. "Preparin'," he slurred. "Fer the next fight." He nuzzled against Steve's neck, a smaller movement than usual. "C'n you wash me?" <3 "Preparin?" Steve sounded angry. "What sort of preparing includes starving you?" He demanded, but didn't move, didn't stop stroking Fenrir's back and his hair- "That's a good way for your to end up dead." And oh...he did want someone to die - He thought about finding Fenrir's master. Of having the boy point him out...but....He thought of Sarah and he squeezed Fenrir very gently. He couldn't....so he sighed and nodded. "Of corse." He murmured. Taking Fenrir closer to the large stone basin - the tub that water flowed into from spouts on the wall and slowly drained away via drains set up in a way so that the tub; while it could get filthy at times, would eventually replace itself with fresh water. He stepped into the water and sinking down so he was sitting, Steve drew Fenrir into his lap and started to gently wash him. He smoothed his hand over skin, gently scrubbing. Gentle-gentle-gentle: And as he washed the sticky sweat and grit and who knew what else off Fenrir, he dipped him back, washing his head, supporting him as he thought about what he could feed the boy. He was hungry - but he knew; had seen it before on slaves that were too far gone - that a heavy meal was not good for someone overly hungry. He could make broth though: Make up a meal from his brailey and mix in bits of meat and cheese. He'd just have to make sure it was watered down enough that it wouldn't sit too heavy in the boy's stomach....He put his hand gently on Fenrir's belly and kissed his forehead. <3 He didn't remember closing his eyes, but now they were heavy and he didn't want to open them again, and Steve's touch was so nice. It was funny, he thought, how Steve's voice could be so angry and yet his hands be gentle. "Makes me fight," he explained drowsily, "Keeps me in line." His face scrunched up and he frowned against Steve's neck. "Amuses them." One hand slowly came up to grasp Steve's belt, as much as a return hold as he could muster right then. "Won't die." Fenrir let out a heavy, relieved breath as Steve drew him into the warm water, into his lap, and he weakly nuzzled at him while Steve oh so gently rubbed him down. It was so nice it made his chest hurt, and he didn't realize he was crying until Steve moved to dip him back, feeling cool air against his face. He flinched again, hands flying to Steve's shoulders and digging in to hold on, ready to fight, ready to keep himself from being held under the water. But the nerves didn't last long, because he could see Steve's face, his gentle eyes, the hands on him light and caring rather than harsh and shoving. The wolf let his eyes slip shut again as Steve rinsed his hair, a smile creeping up his lips as he felt Steve's lips against his head. He groped out for the gladiator's hand once he was upright again, and brought it to his lips, nuzzling his knuckles and palm, laying little kisses and kitten licks on it. <3 Steve felt his blood boil a little more. 'Make him fight'...He gritted his teeth. That was the stupidest....he knew well what it was like to fight on little food. It was foolish. Suicidal...He ached again to find Fenrir's master and end him... Instead he just focused on the boy and when he floundered; fearful, he made soft noises. "Easy...easy, it's okay...it's okay..just washing your hair. I won't let your face dip into the water, okay?" He assured gently. "Promise..." And he caught the wolf's eyes and continued: until he was done and helping Fenrir sit up. Until he felt the boy take his hand and felt the little nuzzles and kisses and his heart broke a little at the display. "Oh...Fen." He whispered. He let him be for the moment; letting him take comfort how he wanted it, he stroking his hair gently before he whispered. "Let's get you up and dried off and back to my cell...I'll make you some food." He murmured. "Just a little though. Just to get your strength back up and then you can have some more. You're going to stay in my room for the night too." He murmured as he started to stand, scooping Fenrir up bridal style. <3 "That sounds nice," he murmured, because it did. Staying with Steve. And -- they said he could, right? Yes. Morning, they said. Be back by the morning. He could spend the night. He wanted to spend the night, curled up with Steve, safe, if only temporarily. It didn't matter if his stomach felt empty, because everything else was warm and full. As Steve picked him up, Fenrir snickered into his chest, a bit dizzy, but just finding the display -- being carried like this -- oddly hilarious. But then -- "N-No, wait, no food. I -- I don't think they want me -- I shouldn't eat." <3 Steve paused and looked down at Fenrir. And was torn between letting Fenrir do as he thought he needed to..and knowing what he needed to do. He finally scowled and shifted Fenrir in his arms as he scooped up a linen square and dragged it over Fenrir before he walked bare out into the halls and to his cell. "I don't fucking care what they want - Starving you is going to get you killed." The gladiator growled. "...do you want food? Not if you shouldn't, or if they don't want you to have food...do -you- want food?" Steve asked softly against Fenrir's hair. <3 "I--" he licked his lips. Swallowed thickly. Eyes darted to and fro, waiting for someone to tug him away. His stomach churned and growled painfully. He wanted to but...Hel and Jormungandr... but then again, the guards didn't say anything about not eating, so far as he recalled. Just that he came back. Fenrir gnawed on his lower lip and finally, meekly, nodded. <3 He nodded and Steve sighed softly, relieved. He'd accept a meal...He kissed Fenrir's head and entering his cell; he closed the curtain, placed the boy down on his sleeping roll and leaned back. "Just a moment." He said, and turning back to his coal-pit, he stoked it, getting the embers hot and he placed a pot with water on to boil it and while that happened, he turned back to Fenrir. Hands stroked over head and face, he using the linen he grabbed earlier to dry the young man off. And as he worked, he murmured soft things. Some of it nonsense noises meant just to comfort, others he said he was here. That Fenrir was safe for now. That he wished he could get him away. Keep him here...he murmured all this and once his water was boiling; Steve peeled away and started to make up the porrage. <3 A whimper caught in his throat as Steve moved away and he reached for him, but settled when he realized Steve wasn't actually going anywhere. His expression eased, whole body relaxed once again as Steve stroke his head and face, down his body, drying him off. He drifted a couple times, blacking out and then coming back up in a few seconds, but Steve's gentle touch and words kept him calm. "Take you away, too," he murmured, cracking his eyes open again, staring at Steve with unabashed affection, an expression he would've tempered down on had he been less starved and dizzy. "Get you a farm. With your mom. Big house. Rooms for you, your mom, Hel and Jor. Herds of cattle and goats. Fresh milk, every day." He caught Steve's hand, squeezed it, stared off into the distance again as he drifted, not quite unconcious, and then came back with a giggle, glancing over them both. "I'd fuck you right now. If I could stay hard." And he collapsed into another fit of giggles which ended with his arm clenched around his aching stomach. <3 Steve glanced at Fenrir as he spoke, his gaze softening. "That all sounds very nice...you and me; keeping the place going, yeah?" he asked, as the wolf took his hand and he let Fenrir keep it as he worked. He had thought Fenrir had drifted off again - but the giggle drew his attention once more and he snorted; just a little, at his words. "It's probably for the best you can't. I'm afraid I'd break you right now-" He admitted softly..though he winced at the curling the wolf did. "You alright there?" He asked, a little nervous; worried Fenrir had hurt himself somehow in his giggling - So he made quick work of pouring the porrage into a bowl and he moved forward, once again kneeling fully beside the man. "Let's get you sit up a bit, okay?" <3 "Yeah," he agreed with a sigh. "We'd do good." He gave Steve's hand a squeeze, offered a half-hearted smirk. "You could break me all you'd like." He didn't really think about his words, they just came out, and he hardly even processed how little sense they actually made -- and then his eyes were on the porrage and he couldn't seem to look away. "M'all right..." His stomach just hurt. Empty and rolling and groaning and he could survive, he knew. Or just come back, even if he didn't. But he was hungry. And yet, still terrified to eat. Both at the possible future consequences, and that eating would just end up hurting more. "Kay..." he murmured. Let Steve sit him up. Let himself lean on him. He stared at the bowl, hungry and suspicious all at once as he whispered. "What if I get sick?" <3 The gladiator braced the back of Fenrir's head, across his shoulders. "I'd never break you. No permission or askance could get me to do that to you." He assured softly, fingers stroking through the boy's hair before he scooped up a bit of a porrage. "We'll take it slow. Just a few small bites. Then you'll let your belly rest. If you do get sick though, you can have my pot." He assured. "Or you can get sick on the floor. I won't get mad." And he blew on the spoonful before he held it to Fenrir's lips. <3 "But you'll fix me up?" He meant it as a statement, or a tease, but it came out far more pathetic than the wolf wished, prompting a wince. He relaxed quickly, though, at the soft strokes through his hair, and nodded again. Fenrir glanced at Steve, chewing on his lip -- he wouldn't get mad? He didn't really think Ssteve would, but... it was still new. "B-But I..." He stopped arguing, however, as he was faced with a blown-cooled spoonful. He licked his lips, eyes flicking from the porrage to Steve and back again, before closing the distance and wolfing it down. His eyes fell shut, he shuddered -- licked his lips. It was bland and thin and tasteless and wonderful. A whimper escaped his lips. "More?" <3 "Always." Steve whispered gently. And he meant it. If he could, he'd keep this boy; this young man safe...but that wasn't either of their lives. Not yet...when he got Sarah out; then he'd focus on Fenrir. He could; he was so close with Sarah...So he mentally promised himself he'd find a way to free the boy and his siblings... For now, he watched the wolf gobble down the food. And the gladiator gently rubbed a finger over Fenrir's throat, at the side: Not at the front; at the senative area that might feel less good and more as if someone was about to squeeze there. His finger brushed up; against Fenrir's jaw and he waited a moment before he scooped up more and offered that too. "Just a little more..maybe one more spoonfull after this..." He said softly. "...can you tell me why they think starving you helps in your matches?" he asked. <3 Fenrir twitched at the touch, unused to something so soft against his neck, but relaxed within seconds, letting out a sigh. He let one of his hands settle loosely around Steve's wrist, slipping up and down with their movements, just rying to keep contact. He took the next mouthful eagerly, eyes open, licking his lips and chasing the spoon. It was a good thing Steve had control of the bowl, otherwise Fenrir wouldn't have been able to help himself. He whined for more -- no words, just a sound, like when he was a young pup pawing at his mother. "I don't always want to kill." His eyes tracked the spoon. "If I'm hungry, I lose more control. Want to eat more than anything. Don't think, just act." It made sense for beasts -- less for humans. But Fenrir was more concerned about that porrage right then. <3 Steve's eyes widened a touch....before they softened. He understood. Less focused, more instintual. But more dangerous: You paid attention less...could risk getting killed more... He was about to ask why they had Fenrir kill: That seemed expensive - to push the warrior towards gaining a bloody end...but the whimpering distracted him. Softened him and Steve stroked his hand up Fenrir's jaw to his hair. "Peace.." He said softly, taking the third and final spoonful; blew and offered it. "Savor it.." <3 Another whimper, softer this time, and he leaned into the touch even as his eyes stayed trained on the spoon, and it took everything he had not to just lunge for it. Peace, Steve had said, Savor it. He gnawed on his lip, trying to focus on that, on his words, but in an attempt to go slow he just got jerky instead, nearly spilling the spoon, but he quickly caught it up in his mouth and lapped up every drop. He squeezed his eyes shut, and single sob bursting forth. "More? More? Please? Gør þú svá vel?" <3 The begging broke Steve's heart; even as he put the spoon aside and he instead laid down next to Fenrir. He curled his arms about him, cradling his head - kissing his lips and forehead softly. "In a few hours. Rest a few hours and then you can have more." He promised softly. <3 He kept murmuring in his native tongue, softly though, knowing this was for the best, but gods did he ache. His body shook as Steve curled about him, pulling him in, safe and secure, and Fenrir just curled right into him, buring his face against Steve's neck, breathing in his scent as he shuddered. "Don't wanna go." <3 "You're not going to go anywhere." Steve murmured. "You're going to stay with me tonight." He assured. Had Fenrir forgot he was to stay? Steve wouldn't have blamed him if so - he was tramatized enough as it was. He soothed his hand through the wolf's hair again. "You're not going anywhere. Just sleep..just rest." He whispered, hand moving down Fenrir's back. <3 "Okay..." he murmured, clutching weakly at Steve. His eyes had shut, body relaxed from both comfort and exhaustion. "Gotta... gotta go back. Tomorrow. They said so." But he let out another breath, nuzzling against him once again to get settled, and drifted off. <3 "And that; my boy. I won't allow." Steve murmured very soft, but very dark and he stayed awake; eyeing the doorway for a long time. And he dozed after a bit; what only felt like a blink of his eyes, but he could see that the moon was up outside of his window. Early in the evening. He debated on waking Fenrir before he pressed his lips to his forehead and gently gave him a little shake. "Fen...Fenrir...wake up and we'll have a little more food, aye?" The gladiator whispered.<3 For a moment, his only reponse was a weak grumble, but then Fenrir jerked away, entire body flinching and eyes flying open. He grabbed blindly for the body next to him, but relaxed within seconds -- "Steve." He pressed his head back down onto Steve's shoulder and closed his eyes again, even as his stomach knotted and groaned painfully. After a moment, he nodded against Steve's shoulder. <3 "I'm here, I'm here, my boy." Stve murmured as Fenrir reaccessed the situation. Reaccessed where he was. He kept up his soothing back rubs and gentle kisses. "I'm here..." He whispered again before he sat up. "Easy...easy, be at peace." He whispered, even as he reached for the bowl and he gave the spoon a few swirls. "...Let's get your head up, yeah?" He asked, putting his hand under Fenrir's head.<3 Fenrir melted into the soft touches, sweet kisses, gentle murmuring. He floated for a bit, mind and body fuzzy, until Steve sat up. The gladator didn't really move from him, but just that motion made the younger one whimper, eyes flickering to him to make sure he wasn't going far. He followed his direction, pushing up a bit as Steve helped him, and licked his dry and bitten-chapped lips. "Why..." he watched Steve stir. "Why are you doing this? ...Taking care of me?" <3 Steve noticed the lick and he brushed his thumb across Fenrir's lips. Dry - He reached out, grabbing his piitcher and he poured a bit into his palm, slowly feeding a small stream into Fenrir's lips. "Drink...and why?" Steve frowned. "Because you are my friend and I take care of my friends...you are...more. And besides the fact; nobody should treat another like they're treating you. It's unjust and it's cruel." "It's....it's more ...words I don't know, because I am not an educated man, but I know that this isn't -right-...Fen...it's not right and I will not stand by for anyone to be treated as you are...so I do what I can and I do what I must for my friend, for my enemy even; but espcially for you, my boy. My dear, dear boy.." The gladiator murmured. Before he sighed and he slowed the trickle of water. "...when I am able..or when you are able...we will get you freed; one way or another...You will see freedom." He promised under his breath before he put the pitcher aside and instead recollected the gruel and offered a spoonful. <3 Fenrir drank from Steve's palm, the motion intimate and comforting, and he mouthed at the lingering droplets at the side of his hand. And it went to show how bad he felt that he made no comment, no suggestion, no innuendo. But he let Steve's words wash over him, turning them over in his mind. More, Steve had said. And he liked that. More. Not less. Not just. And his. It didn't make him feel owned, not like those who had taken him and sold him and bought him. But a choice -- given. Fenrir wanted to be Steve's. He met Steve's gaze and grabbed his wrist, gaze hard. "I don't need freedom. Jormungandr and Hel do." And he dropped his gaze, smoothing his thumb over Steve's pulse point. "Your mother does. You do." His attention shifted back to the spoon, and he licked his lips, opening his mouth to accept the tasteless gruel his stomach both craved and detested. He licked his lips again and while waiting for the next spoonful, ashed in a soft tone. "...am I yours?" <3 Steve reached out, gently rubbing his fingers against Fenrir's chin. "You do; but I know they do. I know my mother does...but you...you and your siblings...when they go, you go. I will do everything I can to see to that." He whispered. Promised, expanding that promise to the gods and swore silent oaths of moment to them that -he would- see Fenrir freed. Him and his siblings. He sighed, and offered a sad smile as Fenrir ate. Another thumb stroke, across the corner of his mouth-...and then he leaned close at the question and soft words bubbled forth. "You are. You're mine and I would be yours if you'd take me...am I yours?" He repeated. <3 Fenrir let his eyes drift shut again, humming to show he was listening. Eyes still shut, he gave Steve's wrist a gentle squeeze, where his hand had still looped gently. "I don't want to go without you, either." He murmured, and risked a glance up, feeling oddly vulnerable. Bare. But then he smiled, warming. It was one thing to hear such words, to babble such words in the midst of pleasure -- but here, in this quiet, if somber moment... Fenrir gave a soft smile, tipped up his chin so their noses could brush. "You're mine," he agreed. "I like being yours." He tilted his head into Steve's touch, and managed a little teasing look. "Can I keep you?" <3 His - He was Fenrir's as Fenrir was his and it had been a long time since his heart ached so pleasantly. He was his and vice versa. He nuzzled his nose against Fenrir's before he peeled open his eyes; having close them, and he smirked a little. "Keep me? Old sod that I am?...yeah...you can keep me until the end of days." <3 "Good," he smile was wide, if tired, but genuine. His teasing grins and lusty smirks often showed in his eyes, but this sheer affection in them now was rare. He tilted his chin to brush a little peck over Steve's lips. "I intend to. Old man." He blinked slow, still tired, and tilted his head a bit, glancing to the porrage. "Can I--?" <3 Steve returned the soft kiss as Fenrir's lips brushed over his. And he chuckled a little at Fenrir's teasing before he nodded and gently lifted the young man up. "I think you might e able to stomach the rest of this." He said softly scooping a spoonful and he offered it to Fenrir. "Easy still though...do you want me to warm it back up?" He asked softly. <3 Fenrir let Steve support him, which was such a strange feeling in and of itself, and then scooted a bit so he could sit up easier, but just listed over against Steve's shoulder again, this time more because he could, because it was nice, because he knew Steve would hold him up. "Mm-mm," he shook his head, taking a careful slurp. "Just stir it. Please." Between spoonfuls, he closed his eyes again, tucking his face into Steve's neck, breathing him in. He'd have to leave. Not yet, but before he was ready to, certainly. So he tried to just ... absorb everything now. "Steve... are you okay?" <3 The warm breath against his neck between the wolf's sips were nice. Comfortable. He rubbed his hand idly through his hair; breath calm and steady. Though his mind too was thinking about how long he could hold Fenrir. How long before he was forced to return him to his masters.....the thought was a bitter one and Steve chased it away; just as Fenrir questioned him. And he blinked a little. "Okay?" He asked, confused as he looked down at Fenrir. <3 Fenrir gave a little shrug. "They said you were--" his face scrunched up a moment, trying to remember. "Making a fuss. 's why they let me out early. So --" he rolled his head out a bit to blink at him. "Are you all right?" <3 "Ah...like that." Steve sighed and he kissed Fenrir's forehead. "...I was...being loud. Asking questions. Demanding if anyone had seen you...got...into a fight or ...two...over my fussing..." The man admitted. "....I...I was worried." He whispered, giving Fenrir a very gentle squeeze. <3 Fenrir gave a little smile, feeling warm. He nuzzled just beneath Steve's jaw again. "Worried about me?" He knew he had been, knew they both kept egging out little admissions of affection from each other, but Fenrir liked hearing it nonetheless. "I wanna take care of you too, you know." An arm was draped over Steve's middle, nearly resting in his lap, and he gave it a tight squeeze. "...When I can actually sit up on my own again, that is..." <3 "Of course...you're my boy....my friend...and I...love you. Of course I worried." Steve murmured, stroking Fenrir's hair gently. He did smile a ltitle though at the wolf's admission. "...I know you will. You make me happy; that's a start...." He just wished he could keep Fenrir safer.... He gave the bowl one more stir. "One more mouthful." He offered softly. <3 His eyes flashed up to Steve's, lips parted slightly. "You love me?" He whispered. It wasn't exactly a revelation. They'd been a constant source of affection for each other for some time now, had taken physical pleasure with each other a few times. But... to hear it said. Fenrir bit his lips as he smiled. He sat up a bit straighter, ignoring the bowl, and beamed at him. "You love me?" And he just kept brightening as Steve said he made him happy, because that in itself was an accomplishment for the wolf. "I do?" And then he finally opened his mouth obdiently for the spoon, still smiling somewhat dumbly. <3 "Y...yes. I do." Steve said, finding his voice again; it strong. Sure. He loved Fenrir...And he smiled to himself as his own mind processed with own words. He loved the boy. He loved him a great deal. Wanted him happy; wanted him healthy. Wanted him free...and he knew that he wanted this even if he wasn't in the picture-... "And yes, you make me very happy." He said as he gently brushed his thumb over Fenrir's lips to clear away the last of the gruel. "No more. In the morning I'll give you a little bit more breakfast though." He promised as he kissed his forehead and smoothed back his hair. <3 Fenrir beamed at him, clearing away some of the dimness on his gaunt face, licked at Steve's finger to get the last bit of gruel from it, and because he liked putting his mouth on Steve. He was still tired, still ached, but now felt warm and full. Perhaps not in his stomach, but in his heart? Certainly. He didn't even whine at being denied any more food. He shifted in closer, crawled into his lap, buried his face against the crook of Steve's neck. "I love you too," he murmured, stomach flipping at the thrill of saying so. "You make me so happy. Make things easier. Things... don't seem so pointless, with you." <3 The confession was both heartbreaking - that he was the one that made things easier: That Fenrir had little else beyond making sure his siblings were taken care of...but at the same time; Steve was glad he was the one that could ease the poor man's life. "I do what I can and I'll continue to do what I can." Steve whispered as he laid back down with the wolf. He pulled the blanket close and curling it about the smaller man, he kissed his forehead. Kissed him on the lips and stroked his hair. "Do you want to rest a bit more?" He asked softly.<3 Fenrir eagerly curled into him, burrowing into his warmth, closing his eyes as Steve kissed his forehead, smiling as he kissed his lips. He took his free hand between them and brought it up, entwining their fingers and tugging it up close to his lips, tucking his face along Steve's knuckles and holding on like a child. "I'd like that," he whispered. And he would. With Steve, he was warm and safe. He could sleep far better than when he was cold and starving and alone in his cell. "Steve?" He peeked up at him, biting his lip as he smiled. "Thank you." <3 And Steve opened his eyes; having closed them to rest with Fenrir. He stared into the man's greens and he whispered gently. "You don't have to thank me, but you're welcome." He murmured sofly and he cuddled him closer. "Sleep." He whispered ,rubbing his back. <3 He smiled, warm and dopey, and tipped up to kiss his jaw once before settling back down, squirming a little bit, and let out a contented sigh as the large, warm hand stroking down his back. The arms around him, keeping him close. The warm wall in front of him, keeping him grounded. It didn't matter that his stomach cramped, that his joints hurt, that he was tired down to his bones, because Steve was here. Steve wanted to be here. Steve not only wanted him, but loved him. The gladiator may not be able to protect him from everything, but he would damn well try, and Fenrir knew that. He would never be truly safe until he was free, but it was a relief to finally get a taste of it. The wolf fell into a deep sleep, his body still exhausted and pulling him down, not longer fighting to push him back up since he was far warmer and comfy than he was in his cell. Still, he woke, the light filtering in, and he could feel his little bubble of bliss slowly floating away, like dreams disappearing in the waking world. He had to go back. He didn't want to. Norns, he didn't. But his comfort was not worth the risk of Hel and Jormungandr's. Even if they wouldn't outright kill them, they had beaten his siblings before for Fenrir's insolence and disobidence. He never wanted that to happen again. Whimpering once, letting himself feel pathetic and small and young and like the world was too much for a moment, only allowing it within Steve's arms, he nuzzled at Steve's neck. "I need to go," he whispered. "They wanted me back this morning." <3 Steve's eyes opened before he sighed. He closed them; tight, before he whispered. "...are you certain?" He whispered. "...I could...could..." What? Nothing...he was a free man; yes...but there wasn't much he could do. Not when Fenrir's siblings were on the line... "....let me get you breakfast." And his voice was thick and his expression somber as he opened his eyes again and sat up a little.<3 Fenrir scooted up to press his forehead against Steve's, closing his eyes as well. He could practically feel the gladiator's helplessness at their situation, as he whispered the possibility of doing... something. Anything. Fenrir knew it well. It's what kept him in line. It prompted a painful pang in his chest to know he was the source of it for Steve, but... "I know," he murmured. He knew Steve would do what he could, if he could. When he could. But right now, that meant letting him go back to his captors. "Okay," he murmured, stomach tight, and let him move away some, but still clutched at his hand for a moment. He just... watched him. Took in the sight of his partner, his lover. Gave his hand another squeeze, swallowed thickly, and let him go. <3 "....do you think you'll be able to return tonight?...when is your fight?" STeve asked as he moved to the fire - but he moved back again. Kissing Fenrir gently on the lips, stroking his hair before he started to cook up a thicker and tastier bit of oatmash.<3 Fenrir shook his head, shoulders hunched. "I... I don't know. Either of those things." He shifted closer as Steve moved back, tipping his chin into the kiss and letting his eyes flutter shut, leaning into the touch, whimpering as it went away. But he swallowed it back, licked his lips as Steve cooked for him. "They don't tell me much," he added in a whisper. <3 "...." And Steve sighed softly before he drew Fenrir close to his side; stirring the pot slowly. "...as soon as you're able, you can come back here." He said softy. "You can always come back here....whenever you need to." He promised before he poured a generous portion into a bowl and took out a bit of jerky from the bag by the fire and he pressed it into the goo before he nudged it close with his foot. <3 Fenrir tucked himself up close, nuzzling under his chin, soaking in the affection and nearness while he still could. "I will," he smiled some, looking up at him. He knew the invitation had always been there, but hearing it said still made him warm and fluttery. "Careful," he managed to tease softly, though his tone lacked his usual energy. "You'll never get rid of me." He licked his lips as he watched Steve stir, his mouth watering at the sight and scent of the jerky. His eyes flashed between it and Steve and -- it was one thing to eat mush and oats, another to be offered meat. Cooked and dried though it was, far from his prefferred warm and bloody kills from childhood, it twisted his stomach painfully. But he knew what a prize meat was for normal gladiators. "Are you sure?" He murmured, though couldn't help but lick his lips. <3 And Steve still smiled a little; despite the lack of energy. He glanced down at Fenrir and poked him gently on the nose. "Maybe I like to live dangerously." He chuckled a little before he spooned his own meal into the bowl and took a few more pieces of jerky out. And he glanced at Fenrir and nodded. "I'm sure...you need the protein to get yoru strength back." he murmured. "Besides, I see that look in your eyes. You want it..." And he tore off a bit of the meat and offered it between his fingers. <3 Fenrir giggled, dipping his head at the nose-boop, though it tapered off as Steve produced even more pieces of jerky. His mouth just kept watering, and he swallowed thickly, eyes focused in a way they handed been before as he stared at the meat. He was still, tense, dragging his eyes away to look up at Steve again and then he was holding it out ot him between his fingers and -- Fenrir darted forwards with the movements of something feral, swallowing the jerky down too fast and desperately lapping the remaining taste off Steve's fingers. <3 The hungry snap startled Steve more then anything - but the followup licking had his eyes soft, sad, and gentle as he let Fenrir do as he pleased. He then turned his hand, stroking gently at the wolf's jaw before he picked up the bowl. "Here, eat." He murmured, giving the oat-mash a stir with the bit of jerky. "And...then I'll...I'll walk you back." He murmured.<3 His mind was still a little too focused, blurry at the edges with the taste of meat on his tongue, the boy showing just a bit of his feral side, even as he closed his eyes and hummed, leaning into Steve's touch. He cupped the bowl in his hands and lapped up the oat-mash, gnawing on the jerky, not setting it down until he had licked it clean. And then he curled in on himself, just a bit, forehead pressing against Steve's shoulder as the food knotted his stomach. It wasn't much, but he should've eaten slower. He closed his eyes and just breathed for a moment, coming back to himself, taking in Steve's scent. Finally, a strangled noise fell from his lips, and he pushed to his feet, gnawing on chapped lips, and gave Steve a nod. "You don't have to come," he murmured, even though he knew he would. <3 Steve held Fenrir as he curled close. He rubbed his back and his head and when he finally pulled back; he shook his head a little. "I know I don't; but I'd like to." He offered gently. "If you'd like me to." And he stood slowly, offering his hands to help Fen up. <3 Fenrir clung to Steve's hands without hesitation. "We'll see how far they let you," he murmured, eyes downcast, and then took a breath, turned for the door. He kept one hand clutching at Steve's as he led them down the quiet halls, taking a few twists and turns rarely traveled by common gladiators, rough steps curling down. The last, narrow corridor had guards milling about, a few coming and going, and their presense caught attention immediately. A few jostled one another, whispered and gestured. Fenrir kept his eyes down. He halted at the familiar scent, familiar gait, and waited until he could see boots in front of him. The guard, one of his main handlers, one of the few who knew the most, tutted at him. "I didn't say to bring your friend with you." "Sorry, Savas." He murmured, shoulders hunched. He was still too weak for his normal snark. Savas hummed. "But you did come back when I told you." He patted Fenrir's shoulder, prompting a little flinch, and then yanked him forwards. The guard looked at Steve. "This is where you turn and go. And this is as far as you will be allowed if you come looking. Understand?" <3 Down...below the areana....Steve memorized the path, frowning a bit - and when he saw the guards he squared his shoulders and stood straighter. And he glared at the guard as his Fenrir flinched at the pat - and he sneered as he was jerked forward. He reached out, catching hold of Fenrir at his hip, steadying him so he didn't fall forward too quickly. And he kept his eyes locked -firmly- on Savas. "I'll see him to his bed." He almost whispered. <3 Fenrir tried leaning back towards Steve, but Savas's hand gripped his upper arm and squeezed, so the wolf stayed where he was, curled in on himself, eyes down. Savas sneered at Steve, an ugly look, and pulled Fenrir fully away from the gladiator while the wolf whimpered. "You'll turn around back the way you came, or I can give this one's," he jostled Fenrir, "Siblings a whipping on your behalf. How many do you think they should have, mutt?" He glanced at Fenrir, brows raised. The wolf's eyes flashed up to Savas, then back down, then to Steve. "Please... it's fine, Steve." He didn't want him to see anyway, to risk him coming and finding a wolf in the boy's stead, didn't want Steve to know. "I'll find you, later, okay?" Savas snorted. "If you survive your next fight, at least. We have quite the line up planned. Let's go," he shoved at Fenrir to push him farther down the hall, farther from Steve. <3 Steve's eyes widened at the threat-...before he looked away. And he let out a soft sigh before he looked back at Fenrir. "Okay...Be well, Fen." He whispered. And he watched them walk away bfore he finally turned and headed back the way he came. He felt dirty. Unclean and guilty: But what could he do?...Nothing. Not right now....It didn't help the feelings one bit.<3